…or at least, so says the webmaster of http://www.tencommandments.org. I found this site while going through Something Awful’s Awful Link of the Day archive. This guy is real treat. Here’s some hors d’oeuvre from his “Things you should know” section:
Raising your children under americanism or any other principles other than true Christianity is child abuse.
Middle-class blacks are foolishly frustrated that they still are, to some degree, prevented from serving satan as do whites. They will not be satisfied until they have the freedom to serve him equally.
Demons cause more than one type of expression on the faces of the people whom they possess: There is the glassy-eyed look and stare of the epileptic; the feminine look in the male homosexual; the masculine look in the lesbian; the look of education and sophistication; the look of innocence and truth in the liar, etc…
If there is any kid who should have been aborted while it was an embryo or fetus, it was America. Britain rightly tried to abort it, but was prevented from doing so by satan.
Satan’s bowels began to churn and growl, and they began to give him awful pain. Then he felt a strong urge to expel excrement. When he did so, it gave off the most awful smell. His excrement is the american constitution and its amendments.
And finally, my favorite:
The musical “Beauty and the Beast” made by atheist homosexual heathens at Walt Disney is designed to subtly create tolerance in the foolish american society for BESTIALITY !
This guy makes Fred Phelps look absolutely heartwarming. And that’s only from one section. There’s entire pages dedicated to his rants on homosexuality and atheism.
I know! That paragraph started to sound like a very welcome story from the master storyteller of the bathroom. If only he hadn’t veered away from embarrassment and towards hatred of everything, he’d have been there.
But all this gives me an idea for a thread. “Tell a lieu story as if you were…”
Satan: So, I’m in my crib, skipping sinners across the lake of fire, just minding my own business, when my bowels started churning and growling. Man! did it hurt. And let me tell you, you simply cannot find a toilet down here that doesn’t have a nasty stain on it, or a hole in the wall with something foul being thrust at you through it… I mean, it’s hell down here, you know?
Anyway, I lay out about two rolls of paper to sit on this john, and I already feel like I need a shower when…
Well, I’ll tell you, this whole deal is pretty sweet, and what with the whole flat job market, I’m not sure that those of us who are already serving Satan really need to see a huge glut in an already crowded employment sector.
That Beauty and the Beast-iality thing is pretty good, though. I’m going to have to remember that to use along with my Return of the Jedi-as-metaphor-for-Vietnam argument. Plus, its much better than my old reason for hating it, which was the grotesque racial caricatures and the bad bad songs.
Gee, why stop there? Snow White was a secret push for wanton sex, Mulan was building support for drag queens, Mary Poppins was an attempt to urge people to shoot (airborne) British nannies, and Sleeping Beauty was all about necrophilia. :rolleyes:
