Story here and here. Never have I laughed so hard at such a tragic occurrence. I cannot even imagine what must go through the mind of someone having to dial the police for help and tell them his penis is caught in the park bench he was trying to hump.
Why am I thinking of the zipper scene in There’s Something About Mary?
“Unfortunately for Mr Xing, news crews descended on the park to film the rescue effort.” Unfortunate indeed. 
Well, that’s one of the tenets of male thought taken to the extreme.
“If there’s a hole, something’s going in it.”
Priceless! I sure wish they had subtitles on that Chinese TV bit. Best example of schadenfreude I can think of!
wonders if “Take a Seat” translates badly from English to Chinese
It’s stories like this one that remind me that Andy Warhol’s predictions about fifteen minutes of fame for everyone is more often than not a curse, not a blessing.
BTW, how does a penis get stuck? The man must have one oddly shaped member.
I would have thought that once the situation became such that you weren’t having fun anymore that the little guy would relax and slip right out. What am I missing?
That the pipe was likely hammered into position, and probably had an edge along the inside diameter of the end that Mr. Xing was probing.
ETA: The other possibility is that the pipe was so constricting that it prevented return flow of blood from the penis back to the body.
Grow a beard, change your name, and move. It’s the only answer.
You know, of all the things I’ve considered inserting Soul Jr. into all these years, a bench never did make it onto the list.
::spreads potential puns out like a poker hand::
Hmm, let’s see… bench press, benchwarmer, workbench, porkbench? naaah…
Don’t get your panties in a bench about it.
Yes, this is the possibility that occurred to me, that the bench acted as a tourniquet once Mr. Happy was fully enlarged.
The news video inside the story in the second link is very dramatic, what with the guy moaning in the background.
That slutty bench was asking for it! The only reason it was in the park was to get some ass.
He is a genius
It has been broadcast that he can maintain an errection for that long and under those conditions, well, he will be getting a lot of attention from the ladies in the near future.
The trouble is, the lady has to look like a park bench for him to get excited by her.
Based on some of the people around here, I wooden be too worried about it.
I’ve heard stories like this before and they don’t really entertain me anymore. But, this one could. It would be funny if his penis was going through the bench and was visible poking through the other side.
I don’t think it’s what happened this case, but it makes me laugh to think of him standing behind a bench trying to summon help with his little wiener poking through to greet people.
Most innocent variation on this theme I’ve heard: a guy goes swimming nude in a cold Muskoka lake; afterwards, sits on a Muskoka chair to warm up (they are made for outdoor use - of wooden slats with gaps between to drain rainwater).
Swimming in cold water shrank his testicles: they slip between a gap in the chair. Then, he warms up, to discover the chair is now … attached. :eek:
It took you 6 years to come up with that?
A member of the splinter group?
Whatever happened to greasing up the 'ol tree knothole with chicken fat? Kids these days with their new-fangled park benches!