Made and ate a whole box of Stovetop Stuffing (one sitting).
Might help if you bathed.
I, also, have never watched a full episode of The Simpsons.
I am not going to my mother’s house on Christmas, which means that I will be ruining Christmas for everyone.
Well, I had two beautiful gift baskets filled with baked goods that my Junior League committee made up to give as gifts to members (we were going to go a random drawing)… but when I went to pick up one of them, the cellophane wrapping tore. I was so peeved, and unwilling to go buy more wrapping, that I decided we were only going to give ONE basket out.
Then I gave the contents of the ripped one–all those lovingly baked Christmas treats–to a JEW! A JEW I TELL YOU!
At least it was a Doper.
Oh, wait. That’s nothing. I forgot the real travesty:
I am going to buy–that is, pay real money for–the new Justin Timberlake CD.
My niece wants it.
God help me.
Was it me? Was it me?
I don’t remember that. It wasn’t me, was it? Sigh.
I’ve never done anything that would horrify any of you. I am so boring.
Jonathan Chance, I was going to chide Beelzebubba for obviously letting you get out. Or maybe he was trying to find out who goofed up.
Me? Hmm… what did I do that might horrify all y’all?
Oh yeah, I masqueraded as a female German tourist.
I made a monkey catapult and fired small primates and baby ducks into the Buccaneer’s Stadium for the monday night football game against the Steelers.
Oh wait, that’s what im doing tonight! I’m gonna be famous.
I haven’t seen The Two Towers yet.
I still haven’t mailed my Secret Santa gift yet.
And I think I should probably start thinking about buying presents for my wife and kids. Probably tomorrow on the way home from work… yeah, that’ll work.
I’m re-reading my favorite book for the fourth time.
[sub]It’s Battlefield Earth[/sub]
:eek: - Oh, phew. For a minute there I thought you’d said you masturbate to the Teletubbies.
This Christmas Day, we’re cooking dinner with the turkey fryer. On the menu is onion rings and mozzarella sticks and maybe Twinkies.
I took the $100 my mother in law gave my wife, for the purchase of photo frames for our wedding photos, and paid for my recent visit to a kinesiologist.
Then I got some money back from my health fund, and spent it on a CD, and some lunch.
:eek:
My wife knows about this, but my mother in law does not
I listened to “I’d Rather Eat Pants.”
And I LIKED IT.
I didn’t send Christmas cards to anyone this year.
I’m hoping this will get people to stop sending them to me.
I bought myself a Christmas present. Wrapped it up and put it under the tree.
To Misstee
from Misstee