Dear OP:
Instead of growing a goatee, try growing a personality.
Love and kisses,
hot chixxx
We could also pick on the grammar of the title!
Wouldn’t it be more correct as:
Hot chicks, goatees are just a prop for which you fall.
?
Notice that my own grammar is atrocious? Perhaps my spelling, too?
:dubious:
Ahhhh, I think this is the real problem the OP is having.
Secretely, he knows that every man with a goatee is really an evil twin.
And we know that no good comes from evil twins.
But Evil Spock did something good. He helped Good Kirk and crew get back to their own Enterprise. Does not compute, doess nnot commpu kkrrrrrchhkh (flop) pooof
But as South Park and Futurama have shown us, often the twin with the goatee is actually the good twin.
So the OP may be trying to disguise the fact that he himself is the evil twin.
You gotta admit, that’s pretty evil.
Yes, but he was still evil
Yeeeesh, didn’t you read the OP?
You leave Flexo out of this!
(Besides, Bender is obviously better, thus making him the good twin)
Now that may be possible… am I the only one who sees this scenario going down?
BEFORE
Certainly: Good eeeeevening. What crisp night air; the perfect kind of night for mind control!
Naive with tits:What’s that? ~nervous~
Certainly: Oh, nothing, nothing my naive little object of sexual attraction. ~pats her head or hand~
Naive with tits:Oh well, okay, I mean, you do have a goatee…
Certainly:Yes, yes, gaze upon my face fur of destruction. Let your puny mind become lost pondering my the hair upon my chin.
Naive with tits: I hear and obey, I hear and… ~her head begins to nod~
Certainly: ~licks his lips with a giant reptillian tongue~Mwahahaha! Yes my sweet And my goatee will force you to think that I own a Harley Davidson, and get into bar brawls, and am a rugged individualist.
Naive with tits: Yes my master I will do as you say.
Certainly: Of course you will.
They walk off into the shadows, together.
AFTER an application of Evil-B-Gone
Naive with tits: Hey, are you that guy who fucked me a while ago? I mean, I didn’t really want to fuck you, but then I saw you had a goatee and my mind melted… I wouldn’t even be able to muster the brain power to ask you this question, but you seem to have shaved something off of your face…
Certainly: Yes, I’m afraid to admit that I am Certainly’s evil twin. You see, I stepped through a dimensional portal in the world of Sex and Money and wound up here.
Much to my surprise I realized that due to your planet’s yellow sun, my goatee took on strange new powers.
Naive with tits: I understand.
Certainly: ~pats her head~ Of course you do. And so, in an attempt to not be evil, I shaved my goatee. Now I must continue on my way and warn all of the hot chicks out there. But first! ~His eyes glow a baleful red and the world starts spinning~ You will give me oral sex!
Naive with tits: I hear and obey, I hear and obey…
They walk off into the shadows, together.
See, once the lab experiment goes awry and you’ve been bitten by the radioactive goat, when the chin-hair starts sprouting and the super-powers kick in, mere women can offer no resistance to the all-conquering Goat-Man {I toyed with the idea of calling myself Capricorn for a while, but got sick of the girls asking “What’s your star-sign?” before they flung themselves panting at my feet}. Of course, now I’m married I’ve sworn to use my powers only for good.
Hey, Lilith, **Certainly ** ain’t doin’ anything on Friday night: maybe you two could hook up - sounds like you have at least two things in common…
No such thing. 'Round here, we take pride in our geekiness. Well I do, anyway.
As for beards, I wish I could grow a proper one. All I ever get is this stupid patchy stubble that looks like crap. It’s not even symmetrical or all growing in the same direction. Some guys grow more beard in a day than I do in a week. A goatee is about the only look I could attempt a poor facsimile of, but it’s not worth the bother so I just shave it all off.
Hmmm. My husband had a goatee when he started dating my fat fucking ass (read: non-hot). His must have been defective. :rolleyes:
You’re a floozy goddess and you claim not to be hot? A likely story.
I’m starting to wonder if the hot guys without goatees are really just carrying their facial hair around in their pockets. I’ve never seen my husband with a beard, and I’m not sure that I’m particularly hot; however, I was helplessly attracted to him when I first met him. Excuse me, I’m going to check all of my husband’s pants pockets. If I don’t find anything, I’m going to confront him when he gets home. I know he’s got a mullet wig for Halloween. There’s no telling what kind of facial hair he carries around to pick up the chicks.
P.S. Sorry for this bizarre post - I’m ill at the moment, and I’m afraid this fever has affected my brain.
Misogyny - thy name is Certainly If You Please. I think we can all figure out why this guy is single, huh?
No. Despite the fact that the Strunk & White-types have declared preposition-stranding to be WRONG and IMMORAL (a proclamation based on the fact that it’s grammatically impossible to do it in Latin), in actuality not only has in been done for hundreds of years in English, but all the greatest writers have done it: Shakespeare, Jane Austin, and virtually every other literary light the English-speaking world has come up with.
Yeah - preposition stranding is where it’s at.
Hmmm. . . . think I’m gonna grow me a goatee and see if I can get me some evil twins of my own . . .
Yes! Up with this we shall not put!
Sweet! I only wear my goatee to project myself as a pretentious art snob who drinks Shiraz and quotes Wittgenstein. I’m totally sincere!
That, and without it I look like a bespectacled Elmer Fudd.
Actually, I use a stencil, so shaving that little pattern is quick and easy.