There’s this bartender who I’ve had my eye on for quite a while. We recently discovered that we are interested in each other. He’s working tonight, and I’d like to go by and see him. But I’m worried that if I go there, it will be completely obvious why I’m there. As we all know, it’s best to play it cool in these situations. I can imagine myself sitting there by myself all night feeling like a dumb-ass while he’s busy waiting on the other customers. Also, I don’t want to look like a loser for having nothing better to do on a Saturday night, but the fact is, I don’t. Ideally, I’d go in there with a friend, but my calls this afternoon have been fruitless. Your advice is urgently needed.
I’m thinking this post belongs in IMHO. Especially since I’m basically doing a poll. But “mundane” and “pointless” seem like accurate words to describe my love life. So… “yea” or “nay” on going to the bar. Don’t be shy - vote!
And you think it would be bad for him to know you’re interested in him because…?
spill a drink on him - and promise him dinner to make up for it…
i feel calculating today
I guess I should clarify - we did end up kissing last time I saw him. But we were drunk, and I don’t know if it means anything. Isn’t it a rule that you have to seem aloof? I don’t want to do anything stupid so that I feel uncomfortable when I go there in the future. In any case, I’ll take that as a vote count of 2-0 for going.
Thank you for starting this thread. I was about to do one very similar, from the guy perspective. I know everyone’s tired of hearing about it, but I fell in lust with a bartender named Rachel at the Red Rock in NYC. This advice would have been beneficial then, too. I’d like to hear advice from both genders. Especially since bartenders typically don’t go out (or home) with the clientele.
Hey, Superdude, maybe we should be helping each other out here. My guy’s at a bar in the East Village, but I’m not going to tell which one, lest some bored NYC Doper decide to go check him out! But next time I’m at Red Rock, I’m definitely asking about Rachel. I can tell you that when I worked in a bar, I pretty much wouldn’t consider going out with a customer. Even when the guys seemed cool, I didn’t have time to go out with all the guys who asked me out. The thing is, you pretty much flirt with every guy that comes in, because it’s part of the job, and then the guys take it seriously. You definitely have to get to know her a little before you try.
chula, first things first – all my plans fell through for this Saturday, so it looks like I’ll be home tonight as well. I’d go it alone, but being social on my own takes so much work, and I’m just not in the mood. But if you’re the type of person who doesn’t feel uncomfortable going to bars alone, then by all means go for it. That kind of self-confidence is attractive. I personally am somewhat shy so the one or two times I have gone out alone, I felt self-conscious and I’m sure that it showed.
Whatever. You know, bartenders have to date someone , don’t they? So go. It’s worth the risk, in my opinion.
Understandable, chula. And I have friends that are bouncers, so I get tips now and then. I’d offer to go with you, or at least get to know her better, but I was only in town for a few days for the NYC Dopefest. I live in Kentucky.
I’d show up like an hour before closing time if it were me. That way you don’t have to look like a “dumb ass” as you put it.
Thanks, Shakes, good advice. That’s what I did, more or less. But things didn’t turn out well. It turned out he had someone meeting him around the same time. At least I know he was uncomfortable… I played it cool and he found an excuse to slip me his number… Could we start a general dating bullsh*t thread to help me out here?
Since its sunday morning its a little late for sat nite advice.
Shakes advice seems to me to be the best. BUT Show up sober.