I’ve posted before about my wife’s fucked up family, and bigamist father who recently died.
FIL died recently. He had 2 families - my wife and 2 sisters from wife #1, and 2 more kids with wife #2 (while still married to wife #1). I have no clear idea of the total value of his estate. I would estimate it around $8-15 mill. Considerable investments, real estate, an established business…
When FIL divorced wife #1, wife #1 accepted a really shitty deal IMO, which really screwed her kids. He then married wife #2 and we assumed everything was titled in her name, in trust for her and her kids’, etc.
Well, it looks like his affairs were nowhere near as cleanly set up as we had expected. We found a will from 1979 that named wife #1 my wife, and her 2 sisters. Various property is in various trusts, and there are insurance policies. My wife filed the 1979 will with the county. We do not know if there is any subsequent will.
It looks reasonably clear that my wife and her 2 sisters are the beneficiaries of a life insurance policy of approx $100k. My wife’s position is that she is thrilled if she gets that much, as she was expecting nothing. And she is content to let wife #2 and her kids have everything else.
I support her in whatever she wishes to do. It was her dad, and her potential inheritance. I do, however, think I differ from her slightly for 2 reasons.
- We have commented on how her mother did not adequately look after her children’ interests in the divorce settlement. I don’t want our kids to feel that we neglected their interests in this matter. Tho my kids are all reasonably comfortable, and didn’t have any fond feelings for the dead asshole.
- I did not like the FIL and really dislike wife#2. I kinda would like to just make it a little harder for her to continue screwing my wife’s family. But I acknowledge that is not a laudable motivation on my part.
I’ve raised point 1., and when she said she didn’t want to be involved in the unpleasantness that would result, I decided that was her decision to make. I’ve wondered if I should similarly raise point 2. (which only occurred to me later), and then respect whatever she decided.
If it were entirely my decision, I could imagine hiring an estate attorney, and just giving him a retainer of make $5k, and just say, “look after my wife’s interests. Make sure no one is pulling anything. Maybe open a probate proceeding.” But I am certainly not going to push for that.
We are very comfortable. Not rich, but no debt and relatively modest desires.
So what would you do in this situation?