We never specifically talked about it, but I always assumed she’d leave me something, even if it was a favorite ring or something.
The only thing Dad ever mentioned was that she had been thinking about me the prior week when they’d both made out wills to take care of the descendents if they both died from the same accident but at different times.
So I know there was a will.
And I know nobody has contacted me, so I assume even if I’m in it I got nothing.
But how can I be sure without tipping off Dad?
Are wills filed someplace? Can I see a copy even if I don’t inherit?
When did your mother die? Will stuff can take quite a long time.
Who’s the executor? If it’s your dad (which would be odd, if they had made arrangements in the event of an accident) you’re probably out of luck. If it’s a friend of the family or sibling, ditto - they would probably tell your dad. However, if it’s an attorney you may be able to speak to them about it. I put that “may” in big, honkin’ capitals.
Why don’t you just ask your dad? Bad relationship? Or you just don’t want to hassle him?
2 months may not be enough time. My grandmothers will took about 18 months before everything was said and done, and required the sale of some of her property before anyone received any $$.
Typically, if you’re mentioned, the executor will contact you and let you know. However, depending on how complicated the will is this could take a while. In addition, I believe that some wills specify that items mentioned in them go to their spouse, and at the time of his/her death to on to whomever.
Duh yourself. I’m not the one trying to avoid speaking to my father 2 months after his wife died.
From what I understand a will is not really a binding legal document. I think it’s just a set of instructions that tells the world what the decedant wants to have happen. If that actually happens or not is up to the executor.
Of course, I’m not a lawyer, but if you think you are legally entitled to something because it was in the will you MIGHT be disappointed.
improbably blonde: It could be that your mother left everything to your father and your father left everything to your mother with seperate instructions for what was to happen if they both died at the same time.
I don’t think that there is anything wrong with asking your father about your mother’s will. Don’t ask him if he is holding anything back, just ask him what was in your mother’s will. If there is a special ring or something of your mother’s that you really want you should ask your Dad if you can have it.
Executor is open to debate. We just got paperwork from the lawyer about Grandma’s will (she died in June) stating that we are mentioned as beneficiaries and that the executors are “person A and Person B” if we do not approve of them as executors please fill out this form and return it before this date.
2 months is too soon to be wondering about the will.
Any real property was also probably in her and Dad’s name and therefore is now his and not part of her ‘Estate.’
Lots of married couples, like us, give everything to each other, but if both die at once then list a distribution.
Since you mention theres multiple descendents he probably doesn’t want to reveal the distribution, which would cause debates of favoritism for nothing.
He may just be uncomfortable about saying he would forgive the loan on Bobby’s bail bond, hoping Bobby may pay yet pay it back.
And, yes, I’m sure he would be hurt if you asked. And how else would you even know which lawyer they used?
I hope you find another way to find out.
Just because he’s your dad is no reason to think he won’t try to hide something he doesn’t agree with. Or just get greedy.
Did you know many people are greedy when they think nobody will find out, even fathers?
Anyhow - *blond, you’re not going to get something of your mothers without your father finding out. If you want a ring or something, phone the man and ask him for it. You know “Dad, I was thinking it would be nice to have that blue ring of moms - it would help me remember her - can I have it?” Boom, problem solved.
Second, I believe, assuming huge tracts of land are not involved, your dad is free to do with your mom’s stuff as he will. If he decides to sell all her jewelry on e-bay there’s not much you can do about it. Even if a document is found saying “I want blond to have my blue ring.” dad can always claim it was lost (as opposed to sold).
alice_in_wonderland - You aren’t helping. You have put words into my mouth three times, all of which are wrong.
And that “odd” post made sense to me, and is at least a person who hopes I can succeed in the OP.
(In case you have forgotten: How can I find out what was in Mom’s will without asking Dad? not why I am “afraid to talk to Dad”. I talk to him every day. I live with him. And there is no specific ring. I just figured she would have mentioned me somehow. )
Since you have no specific knowledge on the subject, and you made clear you disapprove of the thread title, so please let me go.
Someone else will answer. There are people here who have been through it, I’m sure. And perhaps lawyers giving free advice.
I assume from your post that you were left some cats in someone’s will and you decided you didn’t want them. It was binding on the executor to make sure you got the cats. Once they’re yours you can do what you want with them. No dead hand here.
I’ve stated that wills are filed with your local probate office, which they are. I’ve stated that you should contact the executor of the will if you are interested in the contents. In addition, I have mentioned that sorting the ins and outs of a will can take 18 months or more, depending on the will in question.
Now, if you had prefered that I said "Gosh, I hope you can find a way to see that will."fine, however, it’s more in my nature to answer the question.
I will try again:
To find out the contents of the will, without your dad finding out either wait until the executor contacts you, which could take a while, or inquire at your local probate court if the will has been filed.
Given that both of these things are somewhat bothersome, I suggest you speak directly to your father.
blondie, as alice in wonderland stated, the will, if it is necessary to do so, will be on record in your county’s local probate court office. Once filed Wills are public documents, unless the probate judge orders the record sealed for some very compelling reason and then only after notice to the the next of kin and a hearing.
Having said that, it must be said that not every decedent’s will gets filed with the probate court. Not every deceased person has a probate court estate file. Wills only need to be probated in order to have the court appoint the executor to transfer “probate” assets. If there aren’t any probate assets, there isn’t any probate estate. “Probate assets” are assets that don’t already contain within them a directive about how they are to be transferred. For instance, if property is held as joint and survivorship, or if it is held in a trust, of if it is held as payable on death, then there is no need for it to be probated. Joint and survivorship property passes to the survivor, property held in trust passes according to the terms of the trust, and property held payable on death passes to the person named as the payee, all of which skip being probated. What it boils down to is, if your mom’s property was in her name and your father’s as joint and survivorship, then there is no need for the will to be probated and all property passes to the your father.
Since I worked for a Probate Lawyer for many years (& a bank trust department before that), all I can tell you is that different States have differing requirements.
In California your Dad would be required to file your mother’s Will with the County Clerk of residence. If there subsequently was a probate proceeding, all interested parties would have a notice of hearing for probate served (ususally by mail) on them. We used to include a copy of the Will with the Notice, but that was not required at the time, though the statute may have changed. The Will would be a public record, & anyone could go down to the Courthouse & pull the file.
Since your mother died rather recently, nothing may have legally even gotten started. Everything may have been in joint tenancy so your mother’s Will might have been superflous & never get “publicly” filed so you may never find out what it said…at least while your father is still alive.
You just don’t get it do you?
Once more: Geto off my back about talking to my father. I didn’t ask in MPSIMS for advice, I asked a question in with a factual answer, seeking facts. Not advice. If you want to continue to rag me, please do it in the pit. I won’t be returning to this thread.
zamboniracer & lulu37 -
THANK YOU! Clear and concise.
Now that I have that factual information, a mod can close the thread if need be.