What if Dad is the executor?
Haj
Haj - I mentioned in my first post that typically the spouse wouldn’t be executor in case both spouses were killed in the same accident or something. I also mentioned that if the father was the executor that would make it very hard to discover the contents of the will without him finding out. Ditto if the executor was a family member or close family friend. Assuming the mother handn’t specifically asked that person not to, I imagine most people would give the father a heads up if someone, even a daughter, was trying to snoop around without his finding out.
Finally, I don’t care if blond talks to her father or not. It does remain the easiest way to find out the contents of her mothers will, however.
Alice, IF it becomes a probate matter (you’re specifically mentioning Executor & THAT is probate) it’s the easiest thing in the world to see a copy of a Will. It’s A PUBLIC DOCUMENT. Heck I can go down to the Courthouse tomorrow & access copies of any of my deceased neighbors’ Wills if there was an Executor/Administrator involved. All I need is the proceeding number, which is also easily accessible at the courthouse & fill out a request for the file. They don’t even ask you why.
lulu I got the impression (perhaps eroniously) that blond wanted to know RIGHT NOW, which is why she continued to igore the “Wait to be contacted by the executor.” piece of info that I and others offered.
Assuming the will hasn’t yet gone to probate, and she doesn’t know who the executor is, I don’t know any other way she could see the will.
Also, I’m the executor of my mothers estate - why, baring any unforseen circumstances, would her will have to go to probate if she dies before my father? Her assets (which are joint) will go to him, other items will be disbursed by me. Assuming no one contests said disbursment, why would the will go to probate at all?
One thing to keep in mind is not all possessions are part of an estate. For instance bank accounts set up as payable upon death. Dual ownership. If a car is under both your father and mother’s name when one dies it goes to the other.
A lot depends on how things are set up.
There is an old saying “When the concern is money…Friends get funny.”
I was totally left out of my mother’s will. We got along great I don’t know why she gave everything to my brother and sister.
It doesn’t pay to be sneaky or even GIVE THE APPEARENCE of being sneaky. You can go to probate court after the will is filed. But then your dad may say “Why didn’t she ask.”
Exactly Markxxx, further, probate court may not even answer the question.
As an example, I give my mothers estate. I am the executor. She and I have had a very indepth conversation about some items. For instance, she has an extensive collection of jewelry, all of which is willed to me. She has specified, orally to me that upon her death, assuming my brother and his wife are still married, I am to select one item of her jewelry to give to my SIL. This is not a caveat in her will. It’s not mentioned at all. Legally, as no one overheard our conversation, I’m not obligated to give SIL anything. Morally and ethically, yes. Legally, no. I could just lie if I were that sort of person. (I’m not.) Now, I suppose if this were to go to probate, and my mother had expressed her wishes to someone other than me (my dad for example) it would become more complicated. Yada, yada, yada.
I imagine that many wills are set up this way. My grandmother labeled all of her posessions with names - when she died, whomever’s name was on the item got it, but each item certianly wan’t mentioned in the will.
Give it up as a bad job, alice. blonde is like one of those clients that we all have who decide that if the law doesn’t got their way it must be the lawyer’s fault. If she were paying you a ton of money, you’d have to sit there and take her shit, but she’s not, so don’t.
–Cliffy
Cliffy, I love you.
I never said assets of a decedent’s estate HAD to go through probate, only IF they went through probate.
In a case where everything is in joint tenancy, at least in California, the person or institution in possession of the original Last Will still is obligated to file that document with the County Clerk at no-charge, where it is put in an envelope & filed alphabetically, most likely never to be seen again. I don’t think it’s a criminal offense if this doesn’t happen though…only a strong “supposed to”.
Lulu, what confused me was this part of your post:
It seems to imply that merely having an executor appointed, it means a will MUST go to probate.
The person who “writes” his/her Will (whether through an attorney, a will-writing program, in his/her own handwriting, etc.) NAMES an Executor.
If it goes to a court-proceeding, the Judge APPOINTS an Executor.
A “named” Executor doesn’t really have any power in regard to the estate’s assets until he/she is “appointed” & receives “Letters” to that affect. After all, a interested party could contest the prospective “appointment” based on undue influence in the drawing up of the Will for instance. Or they could dredge up a later Will with an entirely different person named to act.
In other words, an Executor of a Will is in-name-only until officially appointed. But just by naming (remember, you can’t appoint) an Executor in your Will does not automatically mean PROBATE. If there are no probatable assets, there likely wont be any probate, & those assets will pass by other means. And the so-called Executor “has no clothes”.
I somewhat sympathize with the OP (even if she’s “never returning” to this thread again). I was the victim of a “hostile executor” who was also a family member, and who was the spouse of the deceased person. Finding out what is in the will without approaching the executor could be a very valid thing to do that results in less hardship overall. After all, if you find out that no one was cheated by the executor, there’s no reason to have a family scrum. I’ve gone out of my way to antagonize hostile family members before; disputes just after a death call for some tact and subtlety. At least until you find out someone has behaved dishonourably…then it’s smackdown time.
BTW, can’t there be more than one executor anyways, thus nullifying the spouse dying at the same time issue? My grandmother claims she has 4, in a certain order (executors, not spouses). And it’s sort of a point of family competition to see who “moves up the list” and who moves down, as she keeps changing it. :rolleyes:
** Una Persson ** Thanks Una. I couldn’t keep away when your name appeared. ( I kept seeing Alice-Won’t-Give-It-A-Rest appearing on the thread list as last poster. And after I twice asked her to get off my back. I swear she’s a lost cause.
Be assured though that I skipped her and jumped down to your comment.)
I’m sorry about your situation. Family fights are always the most painful.
But, I don’t want you to get the impression I am in any doubt about my dad. Mom had no property, and they don’t own our car, I do.
Since I live with him I know he has to scrape by. I used to hear all the “What will become of us!” whenever she went into the hospital.
I just wondered if I could see the will without asking him.
In old movies, people always give a little thing to each loved one.
There’s always a reading of the will. Sentimental closure, last words to the world…
But zamboniracer & lulu37 showed me that little money means no need to enter anything into any filing cabinet in any office. The state only takes notice of the propertied.
If it was easy I would have looked at it. But as Molson pointed out, her will may essentially be Dad’s, and I really don’t want to essentially ask him now what he’ll do with his property when he’s gone. And force him to face the embarassing truth that he may in fact die with nothing to disperse but medical bills.
Perhaps you should change the title of this thread to “Please give me some emotional support” improbably blonde, because you almost seem to be wanting that more than just “the facts”. alice_in_wonderland clearly answered most of your questions and gave you directions on how to start accomplishing what you want to do. She’s not on your back, you’re on her back.
Thanks Vaeth. Because, just 'cus I’m in that kind of mood, Una’s supportive comments do nothing to change the fact that finding the contents of an uncontested will, 2 months after the persons death, without contacting the executor is going to be rather difficult.
blond, I would suggest, if you don’t want to read my posts, that you enable your ignore function - my feelings will not be hurt. In theory, another poster could benefit from the FACTUAL information I’ve posted even if you do not.
I think you have it backward. Blonde asked a very simple question and was quite happy when she got factual answers.
And Alice didn’t start off with answers. She started off replying to a question with another question (always a bad sign in GQ), some of which sure sounded insulting to me, and certainly didn’t sit well with Blonde: “Bad relationship?” “I’m not the one trying to avoid speaking to my father 2 months after his wife died.” Then implies she’s greedy for a ring. Pretty insulting stuff, even if it were true, but it’s not true.
“It would be odd if Dad were the executor” - but he apparently IS, so she is calling Dad into question. And she says “If he decides to sell all her jewelry on e-bay there’s not much you can do about it” Again impugning Dad.
None of those innuendos are implied by the original simple question, nor is it relevant at all to the answer. And of course they all turned out false.
Of course, insulting me didn’t make me a fan either, so I may be biased. ( For the record, I thought her posts “odd” first, but was too polite to mention it.)
Asking more questions is critical when addressing legal issues. And each of those questions was accompanied by information as to why it was relevant.
As to insulting you, I rather agreed with her comment. Your post was odd and it didn’t really offer any information about the state of the law or how the OP could get the information she wanted. It was full of a lot of speculation about people’s motives and behaviour.
So far as I can tell, if you read just Alice’s posts in this thread, you will have a pretty complete set of facts concerning how and when one can find out what’s in a will.
Thanks acsenray.
Why is it when people ask a question and they don’t like the answer, they attack the person who gave it? Bah.
Wait a mo’ – you asked a poster in a public forum to stop posting in a public thread in that forum but she went ahead and did so anyway in order to specifically respond to the stream of the discussion as it had progressed since you flounced off in a huff, even though those later posts had essentially nothing to do with you?
Geez, that alice is such a bitch!
:wally
–Cliffy
It’s true Cliffy, it’s true.
I’m just a big ol’ skank bag, trying to factually answer questions in GQ based on actual information that I have.
Someone needs to beat me with a day old trout.