How can I have fun with a scam interview?

In My Humble Opinion
21

Wear a t-shirt with a humorous/obscene/inappropriate logo as an undershirt under a white dress shirt. A huge Cydcor logo sounds ideal for this particular gig.

Set a really ridiculous ringtone on your cell phone and have someone call you during the interview. Not sure if it’s available, but “This town needs an enema” from Prince’s Batman theme would be good.

If they ask to see ID, produce dramatically fake documents.

If there is an application involved, take a blank one home and complete it in invisible ink. When asked to fill out an application at reception, activate it with lemon juice or heat or whatever.

Bring someone with you who claims to be your lawyer.

This one was told to me as true by a fellow HR professional. A man carried a small evening bag with him to the interview. Although the interviewer wasn’t real impressed with the candidate, she was impressed with the purse, and complimented him on it. The candidate turns and addresses the purse, saying “Hear that honey, the lady likes your purse.” He carried the ashes of his late wife in there…

Order a pizza to be delivered to you during the interview.

22

Tell the interviewer that you have the “Real Ultimate Power”. Ask the interviewer if he has the “Real Ultimate Power” too. Try to work the “Real Ultimate Power” into the interview at every opportunity.

23

Borrow a bit from George Carlin:

If the interviewer is a man and there’s a picture of a woman on his desk, point to it and ask, “Who’s the cunt?”

24

That description in the blog seems very familiar. Didn’t we have someone on the board a while ago who encountered this very same scam? I specifically remember the trick about getting you into someone else’s car (so you can’t bail) and then cold calling a bunch of businesses with “No Soliciting” signs, and the Doper in question being pissed about being held hostage without her car.

I doubt there’s much you could do in the “interview” in the way of seeming to be an undesirable applicant that would scare them off, because there is no actual “job” involved, it’s just the opening pitch for a long con. Maybe you could show up with a case of beer and proceed to get shit-faced during the interview. Or maybe you could talk openly about your “drug habit.” Since you know the next stage of the scam is going to involve trying to get you to ride in someone else’s car, perhaps you could make them nervous (before they even say anything about driving) that you get severe car sickness and can’t ride in a car for more than a few minutes or you’ll puke all over the car. That should make them wary about wanting you in any of their cars. If they suggest Dramamine, tell them that Dramamine aggravates your Tourette’s.

Another thing you could try is to bait them a little bit by making them think you have some money saved up. say you’ve got 50 grand in a trust fund and you’re trying to decide what to do with it. See how much shit they’ll take from you in their hopes they can get you to cough up the promotion fee to become an “Assistant Manager.”

Or you could just tell them that you know it’s a scam and they can all go fuck themselves. It might be more satisfying than it sounds.

25

If you feel like fighting for great justice, you could hook up with the local law enforcement and try to get the scammers to reveal something incriminating.

On the other hand, it would also be fun to spout lines like, “Sombody set up us the bomb.”

26

Ah! Social probing! Near and dear to a sociologist’s heart. You must report the results of your experiment. You know, for the furtherance of science and all that.

Play it straight for a while, and then casually lift your foot, remove your shoe and sock, and start clipping your toe nails. Place the clippings neatly on the interviewer’s desk. Talk calmly about benefits and such while you’re doing so. Do not put them back on. Walk out of the office afterward with your shoes and socks in hand.

Then, pull a banana out of your briefcase and start eating it sloooooooowly with as much eroticism as you can. (Of course, this is only funny if you’re a man.) Moan softly.

Bring with you a prescription bottle filled with white Tic Tacs. Start out eating one or two of them from the bottle every once in a while, and steadily increase your consuption, ending with tipping the bottle into your mouth. Bonus points for gobbling sounds.

Fill a empty Jack Daniels bottle with iced tea and put it in your brief case. Guzzle. Be sure to finish the entire thing before the interview is over, but do not appear intoxicated in any form.

Show him a picture of your favorite female celebrity, (ripped out of a magazine is even funnier) and tell him she’s your wife, and add in dark tones that “she just doesn’t know it yet.”

Bring with you a fish in a jar. Even better if it’s a dead fish. Every now and then, press your ear to the jar and nod as if he’s saying something very interesting.

Pin a stuffed parrot to your shoulder, and talk for it. “SQUAAAAAAK! Polly wants to know about dental insurance! SQUAAAAAK!”

Wear elaborate clip-on earrings. Better if they don’t match.

Put rub-on tattoos on your cheeks.

27

One I actually used: Tell the interviewer your only problem is you have trouble working with (look all around, lean in close, hushed voice): those people. If asked what people, say “You know. Those people.” Look around again and say “Do you have any of (pause) THOSE people working here.”

28

What was the context of that one? Did you get sucked into a similar scam?

29

I don’t think that’s what she meant. You’re supposed to take it like the person is predjudiced against a group, and that the person saying it assumes that the listener shares their prejudice.

30

Well, I’d also love to know what the circumstances were that led to her using such a ploy with a tactic in an interview. Gonna add that to my little arsenal of “Ways not to get a job”… except with my luck it’d backfire and I get hired on the spot :wink:

31

“Such a ploy with a tactic”? What the hell does that mean? “that led to her using such a tactic” is what I think I meant.

32

No, I want to know how it came about that Annie-Xmas used that “those people” line. That sounds like a fun interview!

33

Truly, most of the ideas proposed in this thread are great, but I particularily oved this one…

Thanks for the fun…

34

“Look…I don’t really know much about what you guys do here. I just want to come on board so I can hunt brown people.”

35

No, no. That’s what you tell the nice military recruiter. :smiley:

Robin

36

Wear a flower in your lapel. Lean forward, inconspicuously at first, and then more obviously, holding the lapel and pushing the flower toward the interviewer while saying, “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that, could you repeat it?” Then, later, stop in the middle of a sentence, touch your finger to your ear while staring over the interviewer’s shoulder, and then say, “I’m supposed to ask you about your accounting standards.”

37

Drop your drawers, whip it out right there at the interview table and do your best…

“OOOOOoooh…I masterbating like a motherfuck!”

Zip up and say, “So…when do I start?”

Ok…that might be an arrestable offense.

But why not go to the interview in powder blue pants and when they ask you if you can hand pressure or rejection or [insert adverse condition here], just stand up and say…“Uh…uh…I…I…think I can.” as a wet spot grows from crotch on down your legs. Make sure you had guzzled a few bottles of the “Ice Tea” Jack Daniels before you drink the one during the interview.

“So…when do I start? Oh, BTW…my medical condition is protected under the ADA.”

38

Go in with a friend of yours, who will act as a translator; speak to him exclusively in piglatin or gibberish, and have him respond for you. If you are feeling very obnoxious, respond to the interviewer in english, while he speaks to you in the other “language”. Extra points for giving very long answers that get translated through your friend as “yes” “no” or “please explain again”.

Emotional outbursts in responses to innocent questions might be fun too.

Use a calculator when giving answers that don’t have any mathematical factors.

Bring an umbrella, and only use it indoors.

39

Great ideas, but what’s scary is that this sort of company would be non-plussed by any of those antics as long as Hung brought his checkbook.

40

If they ask for a check, give them one they won’t be able to cash. You can create your own create your own (write up a check on a brick, a piece of wood, toilet paper, or food), or you can use a regular one. Make it out for a bazillion dollars or some other fake amount, write “for sexual favors” on the memo line, and write down a signature that can’t possibly match yours: draw a picture, or sign it clearly with either a real name that people will recognize (Madonna, George Bush, Mr. Ed) or a fake name (I.P. Freely, Amanda Hugnkiss, Hugh Jass). If they object, insist that’s how you fill out all of your checks, and if they persist become huffy, tell them you’ll take your money elsewhere, and storm out.