Get pregnant. That seems to make them grow longer. It will, of course, make it difficult to reach them for straightening, beadwork, or other arts and crafts.
Tabby
I can’t get pregnant - I’ve had a vasectomy. 
If you cut a couple of inches off the end of your cock, your pubes will look longer.
Winston baby! See all those pubes collecting at your shower drain if you haven’t swept them away for some time? In all honesty you can try to grow them out, but after some time they all go the natural way. Thats what I believe anyways. And personally I’m not too shamed to admit that I’m a trimmer, doesn’t that look nice?
Look, it’s Troy Polamalu’s evil twin.
Lye. Lots and lots of natural lye. Just wet it down, pile it on and let it sit.
Oh, and morphine. Don’t forget the morphine.
I can’t find any lye. Will bacon fat do? And, uh, no morphine, either (but I’ve been drinking cough syrup all day - does that help?).
You mean get circumcised? Again?
You mean get circomcised? Again?
You could try a hair transplant. I’m not sure how the procedure works, but perhaps you could take some hair from your head and transplant it in the places you desire. That, of course, assumes that you have hair on your head that is as long and as straight as you want it to be. If not, maybe you can worry about that first.
I was going to recommend Rogaine, but given the thread on the most painful things people have done to their genitals, I’m not sure it’s such a good idea.
Thanks.
I now have a visual of you with straight, long blonde pubes.
A pubic Ann Coulter, if you will. :eek: :mad:
Now excuse me while I go bleach my brain.
You have to ask twice?
Like all hairs on your body - the pubic follicle has a life cycle that’s quite limited and as a result the hair will only grow to a certain length. That’s why most people don’t have six inch long eye brow hairs and why some people can’t get the hair on their scalp to grow past their shoulders.
Fake it and go with some extensions. Made from your own pubes.
It’s merkin time.
Can you throw 'em over your shoulder like a Continential soldier?
Draw them down the inside of your thigh.
Bake them in the oven; maybe they are like shrinky-dinks
Put on wool socks and scuff your feet on a carpet. Or have vigorous sex with a sheep. On a carpet. That way all the static goes directly to the desired region
Use a Swedish-Made Pube Enlarger, or spend some quality time with your shop-vac
Check with Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill (ZZ TOP).
Quasi
Just make sure you affix some round spectacles to your Johnson, about two thirds of the way up, to get the full John Lennon look.
I would suggest an appropriate style like cornrows. If you can find a place that will do it, it can probably be done in just a couple of hours.
Nitrogen heavy Miracle Grow.
Atleast that’s what I use…