I was 18, he was mid-to-late 20s, we stayed in the same house for about a week. I seduced him because I knew he was leaving the state in a couple of days and I’d never see him again. I had a strong aversion to having my virginity be a big deal in a relationship, as I had seen with many of my friends, whose boyfriends seemed to take proprietary pride in being The First, and was already pretty comfortable with toys anyway, so it seemed practical.
Turned out he had a teeny weenie, so it wasn’t that great, but it did get it out of the way.
I have not yet had sex with a woman without there also being a man involved, so I suppose I still have that one left. Possibly. It all seems highly academic at this point.
Summer between 7th and 8th grade for both of us (age 13). First time for both of us.
We’d known each other since about age 5. It just sort of happened while swimming on an August afternoon. While we certainly cared for each other, we weren’t “in love” and had no expectations about the future.
We did stay close and got back together ever and anon when we were both in between other boyfriends and girlfriends. This lasted until I joined the military at age 17.
That was a long, long time ago. Bill Haley was Rockin’ Around the Clock and Elvis was “that new guy”.
She was sorta’ crazy and got herself killed at age 22 in an attempted robbery.
I was 20, and he was cute, charming and new in town - and a friend of mine vouched for him. We’d been dating for a little while and it seemed like the thing to do. As it turns out, the charming was all surface and cute fades quickly in the face of rampant assholery, but we dated for 5 or 6 years anyway. I have no idea where he is at ths point, and thank God for that. I’m not totally convinced I’d cross the street to pee on him if he were on fire.
A combination of factors probably. In my case, I grew up in a very, very small and isolated community. The thought of having sex with someone I’d known since infancy just seemed wrong. Also, the chances of my sex life remaining private and personal were effectively zero. And by that I mean that chances are good that not only my peers would hear all about it, but also my mother, father, brother, teachers, the guy at the grocery store, etc. That’s a daunting prospect at 16. Added to that, contraception was difficult to obtain (impossible to obtain with any form of discretion). Those two factors combined with my steely determination to avoid a conversation with my mother featuring the phrase “Mom, I’m pregnant” while still a teenager were sufficient to keep me from having sex until I’d been away at college for a couple of years.
I waited from the time I graduated from high school until after my sophomore year of college primarily because during those two years I was far too busy to even date, and I didn’t feel like a random hook-up was a good method for having a favorable first sexual experience. I was double majoring in biology and chemistry and working 25 hours a week Not much free time on me! Summers, I was working in my hometown - see my above objection to dating in my hometown. My schedule didn’t free up until the end of my sophmore year.
Pretty close. It was later for me, too; the usual comments about shy around girls applies. I’d known her for a year, dated about six months, then after buying my birthday dinner we went to my condo “for coffee” and she gave me the bestest birthday pressie ever. Never did get to the coffee. We were together for about two years after that and I was ready to “pop the question” – just waiting for a time I figured she’d say yes. Then she told me she didn’t love me any more
This was pretty standard for my extended circle of friends (or at least 18+). Not sure why. The school I went to wasn’t elite, but grades were a primary concern for all the students. One of the few friends of mine who was sexually active went through hell for years because of birth control, missing school and all that, so I think she served as sort of a warning (though I never heard anyone call her a slut). I think most of us were just happy to fool around with the boys in our grade but knew anything past that wouldn’t be worth it 'til they’d gone through puberty.
For me, my first time was in college. I was already getting a little frustrated at how long it was taking to lose my virginity; friends of mine were getting laid right and left. When I met Amy, I was a junior and she was a senior. I’d been very kind to her (she later told me) at a party where she got drunk and couldn’t take care of herself. We dated over the next several weeks. I liked her but never had any particularly strong feelings towards her, and I think she understood that; she had more of a big crush on me anyway. She took the initiative and we made love in her dorm room one cold February night, and I felt terrific. We had sex probably a dozen other times that spring, much to my delight. We both knew that our relationship would very likely end when she graduated, though, and that’s just what happened.
She moved east and became a chef in suburban Boston, and has a husband and kids, I later heard through mutual friends. I wouldn’t mind meeting her again sometime to catch up, but can’t say I’ve been working hard to find her. I’m very happily married now (going on 19 years) and have three sons of my own with a wonderful woman I knew just as a friend before I met Amy.
In the back seat of my '67 Dodge Dart, with my girlfriend, whom I had been going with for about 21 months. I had driven her to a bar with the intent that she would go in and ask the owner for an audition for a gig. We started making out in the parking lot, and forgot about the audition. Prudence demanded that we find a street without streetlights (fortunately, Rancho Palos Verdes was still kinda-sorta semi-rural-flavored at the time).
The next day we went to Disneyland and I asked her to marry me (on the Fantasyland concourse between the Dumbo ride and the cruise through Storybookland).
Three and a half years (and several more proposals) later, at dinner on New Years Eve in Honolulu, she agreed. We got married the following Thanksgiving weekend, and became kaylasdad and kaylasmom twelve and a half years after that.
Pretty well. We’d been friends for a little over three years, dating on and off for a year and a half, and dating on for about six months. He was my first boyfriend, and, honestly, other than the first time, was probably the most stress-free sex I’d ever had. I mean, it was completely free of expectations and emotional fucked-up-ed-ness.
Of course, we just had to worry about the condom breaking and/or his parents coming home early. . .
Aside from the sex, though, the relationship was screwed up and and didn’t last but three months beyond that. He and I are still vaguely in touch, but he’s been through a lot of trouble; he’s been arrested, on probation, he did heroin, so we’re no longer close. Honestly, he isn’t really the person I dated eight years ago.
I never intended to be the type who only ever had sex with just one person; it just worked out that way. Still, no regrets. I’d had opportunities, but they were the half-drunk and oogy type. I’m glad I waited until it was a conscious decision. We’d been together only a few weeks, yet I felt it was the right time (I was 21 and ready to give it up already), that he would be respectful (he knew it was my first time), and that even if we didn’t end up together forever and ever, I wouldn’t regret it.
In early high school, I wanted to see what all the fuss was about and try “it”. I picked a guy who was a littleolder and that I didn’t hang with much and we did “it” in his van. Later, when he told everyone about it, no one believed him because we didn’t hang out much, and I denied it as well (What a squealer!). I wasn’t impressed with the act and put off a repeat for a very long time.
Not very close at all, unsurprisingly: She was a dinner guest at my sister’s house, she stayed over in the guest bed that I was already asleep in with a few too many pints of Abbot Ale on board, ostensibly nothing was going to happen, and about 4 a.m. she had other ideas.
The only sexual interest I’d attracted in many years being fat, unattractive and over 30 (I was 19) coloured my expectations for years to come, not necessarily to my benefit. Ah well, life is generally devoid of do-overs, here and elsewhere.
I submit a large portion of the general population “gets there” not until in their twenties, for any number of reasons already stated. It’s just that here at the SDMB people will readily admit it, while generally “everyone” thinks “everyone” is getting it on in their teens, and you only hear about those who did or say they did.
I lost my virginity at age 23 to a then-girlfriend of a month or so (I was desperate to have sex). I have a couple friends who are that old and still virgins. I’ve had sex with a 37-year-old virgin. People who are socially awkward, shy, self-conscious, clueless about body language and small talk, uninterested in partying and bar nights etc. don’t exactly have to actively avoid having sex with another person.
I don’t know, isn’t it statistically pretty uncommon to wait that long?
And I am pretty shy and not so social myself. If I was a straight man rather than a straight woman, maybe I would have been a 27-year-old virgin, since I think men are usually the ones doing the pursuing. But maybe not. I just think of men as being outgoing and initiating everything, but that’s probably because I only date that type since if they’re not like that, we’ll probably never get to know each other in the first place. That’s probably a big part of my problem actually…I’d probably be a lot more compatible with the kind of man who isn’t a loudmouth…
My tale- I had a girlfriend in 9th grade that I fooled around with, but we never got around to doing the actual deed[ with, and she kind of had a nervous breakdown.
At the end of my 10th grade year, I briefly dated a young girl… cute, shorter than me, and clearly a lot more experienced than I was. I think I surprised her with skilled hands, but no clue how to proceed to the actual act. We broke up a few weeks later. She vanished for a while. but I actually tracked her down on MySpace at the beginning of this year. She’s…
While I think of her fondly, and we chat on occasion, not being with her long term is probably one of the few good things to happen to me at that age.
At 17, I lost my supposed virginity* to my girlfriend of three months one night while her parents were in the Pocanos. We were very serious and ended up dating for almost two years - I don’t regret it at all, though I think the best sex comes with practice. We were in love.
Then I ended up basically having sex** with this guy my freshman year of college while I was going through some rough times (problems with said girlfriend, family, and fitting in at college) and using sex as an outlet.
I had full on heterosexual intercourse with the same boy a few months later, in a similar situation (minus the girlfriend.) I mostly just wanted to see what all the fuss was about, but thought it was boring.
Some people don’t consider lesbian sex losing one’s virginity, but that’s bullshit. I personally defined my loss of virginity as having had oral sex + other stimulation, but I had one friend tell me I had already lost my virginity (excuse me, that’s not for you to decide) way before that.
** I was very anti anything to do with penis, but I guess you could equate what we did together with lesbian sex.
In both situations, I was very emotionally attached to them, in part because we were close friends first. Emotionally detached sex scares me; it’s one of those things that I think has varying levels of acceptance for everyone.
Not much free time on me! Summers, I was working in my hometown - see my above objection to dating in my hometown. My schedule didn’t free up until the end of my sophmore year.