Eww. The newspaper ad massages around here are all male.
Oh and another thing **WhyNot **mentioned in the original thread: It’s not universal, but often female massage therapists will insist on being called exactly that to avoid being confused with ‘masseuses’ who may or may not massage your knob.
(Off topic and utterly non-sexual, but while I would have once been mortified to have my breasts massaged, I find that they’re being ignored less and less – though the MP always asks beforehand if I want to ‘go there’ – and not only am I comfortable with it apparently it’s really good for them as they’re dense. So while there’s no happy ending, it actually feels more natural to not have them tiptoe around my chest.)
I find the idea of asking for a happy ending at a legitimate business to be confusing. Here in Philly, the alternative weekly papers have a health/wellbeing classified section. Massage therapists listed there mention things like reiki, rolfing, certification from national or international boards etc. The individuals and businesses listed in the other massage section stress ‘young, attractive staff’, full body shampoo, and have pictures of naked women. I don’t understand how one could confuse the two.
My Evil Ex-BF with No Morals and No Remorse was a large (though not exactly musclebound) Russian guy named Igor (yes, really), who had been a licensed professional massage therapist for 20 years. For a while he had a side gig at a 5-star hotel that offered massage in its health club, but outside of health club hours, also offered in-room massage by appointment.
After he was propositioned by a number of (male) clients, he finally asked one of them what exactly made him think that that sort of service was contemplated? Well, apparently the last guy did it on a regular basis.
So, one never knows. This is also apparently why Chicago requires, in addition to completion of an accredited 500-hour educational program, a fingerprint-based criminal background check to obtain or renew a massage license. And my ex said it also used to require a negative syphillis test.
Right, go by the ads (as DocCathode sez "young, attractive staff’, full body shampoo, and have pictures of naked women") and what the therapist is wearing to a lesser extent. Mind you, in a good Oriental Massage place, they give a legit massage then just a “Happy Ending”, actual sex is verboten. You could argue it’s theraputic.
Spas, chiropractors, etc are never “happy ending”, don’t even try it, it’s rude or worse.
In the Op’s case, sounds like a Happy Ending sitrep, however.
I thought it was Al Gore who was accused, not Kerry? Or was Kerry involved in a separate incident that I missed. Possibly a flashback to 'Nam R&R days?
Nah, I got it wrong, as was pointed out by Shodan upthread. Apologies.
Now where’s that handjob I was talking about?
While I’m sure the majority of masseuses do not give happy endings, there can’t be very many who have never had a request for one.
Ah, sorry. Missed that.
There are actually legitimate masseuses in Thailand. I’m sure they’re proposition rate is high if they look even halfway decent, but probably not the fat old mamas who are long in the tooth. But even the dodgy places will have a couple of ladies who really can give a good massage if that’s what the client really wants.
My best friend from high school is a masseuse – want me to ask her?
You must be really gooood friends, then, eh? :dubious: 
If they aren’t offering, I ain’t asking.
I don’t like massages, anyway. They don’t seem to work very effectively on me.
I’ve had many, many massages in many, many places, and never have I had any inkling that this kind of thing was even in the realm of possibility, nor have I seen any signs or notices warning against asking for it. Every place I’ve been (usually high end spas), it seems like it would be so out of place it doesn’t even have to be stated…
I’ve been to a few massages, and to be honest, a handjob would have undone all the relaxation I’d achieved through her busting my back muscles to jelly.
As other posters have mentioned, there is a large difference between a licensed massage therapist (LMT), and a massuese. It’s doubtfull there are very many of the former that give ‘happy endings’, but a great number of the latter that might. I’m not going to say no licensed therapist would do it, as a friend of mine that is a LMT once commented that it is disheartening to know that she could make twice what she makes now if she offered that type of service. So it’s probably something that at least some LMTs do, but that is by far the minority. I also agree that there probably aren’t many (at least attractive female LMTs) that haven’t been asked at some point in their careers.
I may be one of the few western tourists to have actually been for a massage in Bangkok and just had a massage 
After she’d finished, the masseuse did ask if I wanted a “special massage”, but I didn’t take her up on it. The standard Thai massage was great though, I walked out of that place like I was floating on air!
So ya think there are any masseuses out there who give happy endings to women?
See, I have this friend who wants to know…j/k, but I’ve always been curious about that. If I walked into one of those shady places, would they do it for me too?
If the videos I’ve seen on the internet are to be believed, this happens all the time.
Ditto with medical examinations, job interviews, plumbing emergencies, etc.
Actually, I had one guy whose hands wandered into shady places. Not cool - most states require licensing to practice massage therapy, and that kind of thing is usually verboten. It was even in a mall. They had a tiny back room for full body massage and did chair massage out front.
Kind of put the kibosh on the massage glow, I’ll tell you. :rolleyes:
Then there was another guy who was a licensed MT, but I was just a friend of a friend who was buying his old couch. He offered to work on my shoulders, I said yes, and after a little while he started to work on my boobs. Tres uncomfortable.
So, I suppose if you’re looking for a MT who will give a woman a happy ending, they’re out there. I suppose that if I’d gone looking for that, it would have been okay, but having it sprung upon me was most definitely not.
Not one of those places, but there are a few rare parlors that cater to women. Some are skeezy, some frame it (bull or not) as part of ritual bathing/candle-filled therapy for women who have faced sexual trauma, have never had orgasm, who are interested in tantric sex, whatever. Obviously, results are not guaranteed.