Try the new caramel flavored instant.
Yeah, the one I go to on my way to work has the measure of me now, after a query about which filter coffee I wanted was meant with a look of utter bewilderment and the response: “I really cannot begin to tell you how much I do not care, as long as it lessens the pain of being awake”.
Dr. Frasier Crane feels your pain: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIzyPWAPaI4
Yeah, I don’t understand that particular meme that ordering anything but an espresso drink at Starbucks will give you blank stares. I usually meet with potential clients at Starbucks, so I’ve been to about 30 or so unique locations throughout Chicago and its suburbs. I always order the same thing: “venti coffee black” (OK, sometimes I order a grande.) About 90% of the time, they don’t ask me to choose a roast. They give me the Pikes Place, there’s never any confusion about it.
I can’t believe that people act as if a barista were to be surprised by a plain coffee order at a frickin’ coffeeshop. Yes, Starbucks gets plenty of orders for just drip coffee.
It’s just another form of condescension. I have no problem believing anecdotes like WhyNot’s, but just like the tales of a theatre full of people screaming in their cellphone during the entirety of a film, I don’t for an instant believe it’s as endemic as it’s made out to be.
No, it’s a noting of events. “Mildly taken aback” is exactly what I meant. And I doubt it’s because they’re stupid or they can’t fathom a regular coffee, more that they’re used to an unending train of frou-frou orders, so it’s what they expect to be asked for.
I was mildly taken aback when someone would come into the video store for Citizen Kane, too, after the 462nd request for Titantic before lunch. (I worked there a while ago.)
If someone knows how many choices there are for each variable, you just multiply all these numbers together to arrive at the total number of possible combinations. As a simple example, if there are three sizes, three types of coffee (9 possibilities), and three different flavorings (8 flavoring combinations, think in binary terms), and then add the choices of using sugar, artificial sweetener, or none (3 choices), this yields 216 total possibilities (but I know there’s much more). I went to the Starbucks website and found the following information under “drinks”:
[ul]
[li]Bottled Drinks (10 choices)[/li][li]Brewed Coffee (7 choices)[/li][li]Chocolate Beverages (4 choices)[/li][li]Espresso Beverages (33 choices)[/li][li]Frappuccino® Blended Beverages (31 choices)[/li][li]Kids’ Drinks & Others (5 choices)[/li][li]Tazo® Teas (23 choices)[/li][li]Vivanno™ Smoothies (3 choices)[/li][/ul]
Given that most of these items have at least three sizes and that the milk-based products have four milk choices, the total number of possible combinations is easily in the thousands.
Nope they just let rest of our orders sit for a few minutes to cool off. 
I said in my post that I can believe events like yours. I just don’t believe it’s as widespread as others make it out to be.
Was there a time, recent enough to be in the memory of many people alive right now, when pizza was routinely offered in only one way? I can remember when coffee did not have any varieties, typically was offered in one size (“a cup”), and the only options were cream and sugar. I can remember a time when walking into a restaurant and saying “I want a cup of coffee” would result in being served a cup of coffee, no further questions needed.
I can’t say that about pizza. So I think Musicat’s point is perfectly valid, and the analogy to pizza is a false one.
If you want to be able to order coffee using only one word, go to a diner or most any sit-down restaurant. They still exist. However, they might piss you off if the waitress dares to inquire whether you’d like regular or decaf. Even a non-chain coffee shop will ask you for more details other than “coffee.”
Otherwise, quit bitching about - the horror - having to use more than two syllables to order your morning breakfast beverage. Specifying a size and a type isn’t fucking rocket science. Tell them you want a “short medium roast drip” or “tall dark roast drip” or whatever, and you’ll get your damned coffee using only two more syllables than it takes to spit out “coffee!” without having to engage in too much more interaction with the human behind the counter who is trying to get your order to you. Maybe you can snarl or sneer rather than wasting another breath when they thank you for coming in.
Thank, you, Sir (or M’am, as the case may be). 
Can I buy you a cuppa coffee?
Nah. The point is, you’re going into a place that specializes in coffee. Why in the hell would you think there’s only one default choice? (Although, as I’ve said, if you just order a “large coffee” at Starbucks, the vast majority of the time, nobody is going to skip a beat figuring out what you want.)
I rarly go to Starbucks. I do however frequent coffee shops. I have been a coffee roaster and Batista and have judged coffee by gold cup standards. I oder almost exclusively three different drinks judging by the machine they are using and the feel of the place.
A 16oz drip. None ever gets this wrong.
A ristretto. If they know what it is I am elated and know it will be good. But I only order it if they seem true coffee geeks. I rarely get it wrong.
A six ounce double americano. This throws almost everyone off. Even geeks. You see the smallest cup most people have is 8 oz. They can’t seem to fathom not filling it up all the way. It however only take a simple just don’t fill it up comment and all is good. Or I spot a for hear cup just the right size and ask for that.
Ordering coffee is easy. The choices are nice and and pleantiful. Just know what You want. Order by ounce size. That always works. 12 oz drip please. They will prompt for room and you will get it at any joint anywere no problem.
No, it’s code for “I don’t like lukewarm latte”.
This reminded me of the scene from LA Story:
i used to work at panera and i would have no idea what to do if someone came in and ordered their latte extra hot. incidentally, nobody has ever ordered any drinks “extra hot” in the seasonal-only 2.5 years that i worked there.
I don’t like having to say any chain’s cute names for sizes, so I’m not a fan of the whole Venti, Tall, Short, Grande, etc etc sizing system… but that being said, I’ll say “Venti” any day rather than having to walk into a Cold Stone Creamery and order a “Like it”, “Love it”, or “Gotta Have it”.
There are not enough rolleye emoticons in the world.