A crazy gunman came into your apartment and stole your toilet, and plunger AND ALL YOUR TOILET PAPER!
Crazed gunmen broke into your apartment and FILLED it with toilets.
And they’re all broken - so you can’t even sell them.
A crazed gunman broke into your house, stole your toilet, toilet paper, left you with his incontinent mother in law and a broken washing machine, gave you a bad hair cut that left you with a sinus infection, migraines, stuck you in the eye with a sharp pointy thing and oh the horror you have no more matching socks to your name.
It could be worse. You could live in Detroit.
Hmm…
The old expression is right.
“How many get to heaven, no one knows. But hell will be asses and elbows.”
Tonight on Lifetime… 
You could be the crazed gunman who breaks into people’s houses and steals their toilets. Can you imagine what his life must be like?
Tonight on Spike, the first network for men…
With all due respect, elbows is the one who’s getting shit rained on her…
Some threads are just scary scary places to hang out in.
Oh, this is horrible, simply horrible. I’m sitting at my desk, laughing so hard my mascara is running down my face, and I can’t even begin to explain to my co-workers what’s so funny.
You guys crack me up.
You’ll be pleased to know my household has returned to it’s ‘normal’ chaotic pace.
Most days, around this place, it’s laugh or risk being swept under.
And y’all really keep me laughing. There are days, well, you can imagine.
Especially Lieu’s threads, cause I can relate!
A crazed gunman could break into your house, take one look at your toilet and scream “Dude, your shit ain’t right!”
[Binky]
The cat could bark in your sock drawer.
[/Binky]
Oh hell… or the cat could barf in your sock drawer.
A crazed gunman could break into your house and steal your barking cat.
You could have a rude, obnoxious, racist, self-centered, mouth-breathing, moron as a houseguest. And…you can’t make him leave.
He’ll sleep on your couch for 3 months because your spare bedroom is “too cold”. He’ll eat all your food. He’ll infect your computer with viruses and adware. He’ll bring his kids over so they can puke on your new carpet. He believes that Wrestling and the News are the only decent TV programs. He talks with his mouth full. He laughs through his teeth. He doesn’t cover his mouth when he coughs. He pees on the seat and then leaves it up.
Feel better yet? If not, let me know. I can go on for a while longer.
It could be worse. Except for the kids part this sounds like someone I once dated for two years! :eek:
Or, it could be worse, you could be the fool that would date a man like that for two years. :o
And then pee on the toilet seat and leave it up.
Well Lynne, you could be a telemarketer, and have people curse at you, call you an asshole and worse. Some guy last night asked me for my phone number so he could call me at home and interupt my supper. I told him, “sure, I’ll give you my number if you buy some of this coffee I’m selling” He didn’t take me up on it.
The worst part is, I haven’t made quota in a week, so I’m sure I’m about to be canned. I’ve got applications in EVERYWHERE, but nobody’s been calling except for another telemarketing place that is a horrible place to work, but that pays twice as much as I’m making now. Its a pretty depressing situation to be in.
It is worse swampbear. But I’m not dating him so I’ll count myself lucky for that at least.
You toilet steals your apartment and takes over a crazed gunman. Hmm… that wouldnt really be worse, just weird.
You guys are hilarious I must say. I too am having a real tough time in life at the moment and you guys really made me feel better.
My boyfriend of 5 years dumped me - I had to leave our new beautiful condo - someplace I finally felt at home- and am living out of several suitcases at my married friend’s house which, I assure you is some place I dont really want to be. AND- I am broke. I’m feeling like a homeless person. My life was turned upside down in just a few days. Also, im hungover and hungry.
Just thought I’d throw that in there for good measure.
But hey, I dont have poop nor vomit all over my house and I dont have a broken washingmachine. I think that is due to the fact that I dont really have a house or a washing machine anymore but Im willing to over look that detail.
Keep on truckin even if life is suckin.
You don’t know CongoDwarf, do you? :eek:
You could only be able to go to the toilet with the assistance of a sharp, pointy stick. :eek: