A crazy guy just broke into my apartment and forced me, at gunpoint, to buy some skanky old toilet off him!
You invite several people over for dinner at your manor, and they try to kill you… with a sharp stick, with explosives in the toilet, with a loud noise, with a Civil War cannon.
“Hello, and welcome. I’m your host, Doctor Lucky.”
Or you could be a SDMB Hampster.
Right…
You could have to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night, half an hour before you went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down at the mill, and pay the mill owner for permission to come to work, and when you got home, your Dad would kill you, and dance about on your grave singing “Hallelujah.”
Luxury!
Russian mobsters could break into your tenement apartment, chain you to the only piece of furniture to your name: your beautiful toilet! Then they take out your brother to shoot him execution style, then you stuggle and struggle against the toilet and…
hey, wait.
Or the crazed gunman could steal your toilet and your septic tank then next thing you know he’s got em up for auction on ebay.
On my birthday a few years ago, i was given a stolen toilet…
Sorry Sandlegs, i never knew. I’d give it back, but i don’t have it anymore.
It would be fun to see a crazed gunman go into Home Depot and steal all the toilets on display. Now that would be a worthy lead story on the six o’clock news.
…and then you rip the toilet from the ground- stumble to the fireescape and jump off plumeting- you and the toilet- to the ground. Turns out the Russian mobsters were able to break you and the toilet’s fall (sort of)…
You could be Paris Hilton. She’s not fat and she’s not broke. But you wouldn’t want to be her, would you?
A crazed gunman could break in Paris Hilton’s apartment, steal her toilet and she’d probably never notice it was gone.
Ha ha ha… thanks guys…
No, that would mean I wouldn’t be having my period now for the first time in a year… I thought I was done with this crap! (TMI, so sorry)
I worked today, and it was fun, and I’m getting my hair cut tomorrow for $7, but these oh-my-god-my-hair posts are scaring me… I’ll letcha know!
You could have some strange German men break into your apartment while you are taking a bath and release a ferret into the tub.
You could walk into your brother’s room to tell him dinner is ready, only to find him jerking off to a Playboy :eek:
Every sisters nightmare right there.
Or you could walk into your brother’s room to tell him dinner is ready, only to find him jerking off to a PlayGirl :eek:
Every father’s nightmare right there.
That is disturbing.
Doesn’t that kid know that there are much more interesting things to jerk off to than Playboy? There’s a whole world of erotic pictures on the internet alone, not including the many printed works that make Playboy look as tame as Highlights.
You could walk into your brother’s room and find him jerking off to Ferret World.
A crazed toilet man could break into your gun and take your apartment.
A crazed toilet man could be jacking of a ferret in your apartment.
I used to say that. Now I live where raining is an improvement – depending on how much you get at once, of course.
–SSgtBaloo
P.S.: A crazed gunman stole my toilet. AFTER he spiked my drink with laxative and bolted my doors. :eek:
While sitting on a toilet, your brother is wacking off with a ferret to a crazed gunman in your apartment.