I’d say pretty damned creepy, too. At the very least, it’s being a jerk. I mean, you’re on a first date with probably intending for a first fling with this guy, and he decides the time to make the move is when his date is passed out? What if the coworker was ill from drinking? What if he’d fallen asleep because his date was just so freaking boring and dull, and he’d changed his mind about anything sexual?
Much, much better would’ve been to stroke the coworker’s shoulders or chest - maybe even thigh - to wake him up in a still pleasant manner, and see if he’s interested in anything else. Hell, do the Prince Charming/Sleeping Beauty routine and see if Awake Beauty has any rewards for his Prince. Jerking off if there wasn’t anything going on before that? Tacky, at the bare minimum.
Here’s a tangental paralell. How many of us would be seriously creeped out and not see the guy again if we woke up to find him masturbating while looking intently at us sleeping? The fellow in the OP went even beyond that, he touched the sleeper in a sexual manner, when he didn’t even really know the person. Exceedingly disrespectful doesn’t begin to cover that action.
I’d give both a 15 and am somewhat amazed at the replies thus far, especially considering all the Pit threads something similar being posted to an online newsource somewhere would probably generate.
It’s attempted rape. How much more creepy can you get?
Went over to a party at her pseudo-BF’s house and drinks to much. They make out for a minute then she passes out. She wakes up completely naked about 90 minutes later to see a condom wrapper on the nightstand.
She swears she knows nothing happened because she was on the rag at the time, but I always wondered if this was the truth.
I agree with all of the above, and would like to add #4. How much had your friend and his date been drinking? Alcohol makes a lot of people ‘friendlier’ than they would be sober.
Without more facts to go on, it’s really a tough call on how creepy this is. If it’s a case of him going out on a date with a guy and they were just talking, getting to know one another, hadn’t been getting intimate, then he dozes off and wakes up being fondled, that is at least a 9.5 on the 1-10 creep scale, but if it’s a situation where they were really hitting it off, doing lots of flirting, petting, kissing, drinking before he passed out, I’d have to say it was only a 4, more poor judgment than serial killer material.
This thread has been interesting, in the range of reactions. My friend, still just as young and stupid as he was when I wrote the OP, is not alarmed; it’s an adventure, and the guy was hawt. Luckily, nothing worse happened; the guys boundaries are wobbly, but he’s not actually a cannibal. I hope my friend does not learn from this that such things are usually not dangerous. And who knows; I might well have reacted differently, more like him, when I was that young and stupid.
Still, don’t you wish experience was learnable by any route other than experience?
The correct answer is: “it’s as creepy sa he thinks it is.” Was it a savory act? Well, we don’t have the details. He’s still very attracted to this guy, so I’m thinking that things were said during the course of the night to make other guy think that it was okay to start pumping the tadpole yogurt from the testicular dairy aisle.
Al being said, I think we can vote on telling him to be a little more careful. There’s certainly no need to manufacture rage when the person involved certainly isn’t upset. Also, we don’t have all the details. not saying I WANT the details…but for the sake of argument…
Oh god, something like that happened to me once when I was about 16. Nothing else happened, but it still freaked me out. I didn’t know the guy either. I fell asleep on someone’s couch.
What if lissener’s co-worker had been a woman and a man was feeling her up when she woke up. I wonder if the “it’s not so bad” responses would be the same.
From the scant facts we do have (first date, non-consensual genital contact, friggin’ myspace), I’m going with seriously creepy.
Of course, the lesson here is that we really shouldn’t sleep with strangers. Have sex with them if you must, but for the love of god, don’t render yourself completely vulnerable by relinquishing consciousness. That’s just stupid.
Well, I’m standing by my opinion that it wasn’t necessarily all that creepy, depending on furthur information. However, fetus made an excellent point – how did your friend come to fall asleep? If they had been cuddling on the sofa and he dozed off, that is one thing (and, honestly, was the scenario I had assumed). However, if he fell asleep suddenly, after drinking something his date had provided, that would be something else again.
In my case, yes. I am a woman and I wouldn’t have found the situation creepy for myself, if the caveats I mentioned in my first post were in place – that we’d been fooling around a bit before I dozed off anyway, and that the fiddling my date was doing was mild fondling as an extension of what we’d been doing before I fell asleep. And, as I mentioned in my last post, that it was clear that I had just dozed off, not been drugged in some way.
I’m also curious as to what happened when the boy woke up. That would tell me quite a bit about the intent of the other guy. Did he snatch his hand away guiltily and tell him to get the hell out of his house? Then my guess’d be he’s perhaps not so comfortable with being gay, but wants to touch a penis with no consequences. Seriously creepy. Did he throw an elbow into the boy’s neck and growl, “Shut the fuck up and lay still, asshole!” Then he’s a rapist, pure and simple and very, very creepy. Did he smile langouriously and murmur, “Hey, sweet thing. I was just getting you warmed up” before laying a serious smooch on him? That’s getting us back toward the not-so-creepy end of the spectrum.
I could agree with every disparate answer in this thread, depending on the details of the scene.
I read somewhere (trying to find the cite) that in CA it is considered a sexual assault to perform a sex act on a person when they are unconscious because they are unable to give consent. If your friend had awoken to find this going on and objected he could have called the cops. I believe the commonly used phrase is “date rape”.
The fact that your friend did not object speaks volumes about his maturity. To:
hook up with someone they just met online (MySpace, no less :rolleyes: )
go back to that stranger’s place
fall asleep at a stranger’s place :eek:
not object when he awakens to find the stranger has his hands on your friends genitals :dubious:
all points at someone who needs some serious growing up and safety lessons. Your friend could have been assaulted, raped, beaten up or killed. How does he know this “hot” guy is free of STDs?
My creep factor in both cases goes off the scale. And the idiocy factor of your friend is so high I can’t even measure it.
The whole thing sounds at least a bit creepy to me. Besides, who wants to be asleep during the sex? But yeah, context probably matters, as a lot of people have said so far. It could be entirely horrifying or romantic. Does sex actually require affirmative consent? Let’s be serious - of course not. If the kid enjoyed the encounter, doesn’t that make it consentual?
In absence of any other information, though, it doesn’t sound real great to me.
But it does sorta depend on how hot the guy is. Hey, I’m a dude. It’s how we think. Stop judging me.
You’ve done an excellent job of illustrating exactly why the law dealing with sexual consent is unreasonable in many respects. Nice reasoning. Let’s summarize: OMG your friend was raped! And what’s more, he didn’t even realize it! There’s something wrong with him!
