Thanks for the laugh. I needed that.
My daughter is home schooled. She is currently studying for her GED. She wants to take it this school year but we are not sure if she is ready. I think she is but she lacks some confidence in that.
If she takes the test and passes then I will contact child support and have it ended when she turns 18 and they can still go after any arrears he owes.
If we feel she is not ready and we wait until the next school year, which would be her normal graduating year, then I will let the support order continue until such time she takes the test and passes it.
So, does your daughter plan to enroll in college? That’s also considered full-time school.
I should be more specific. In some cases, child support may continue up to the age of 19 if the child is enrolled in school and is still considered a dependent of the custodial parent for tax purposes. That means that if she doesn’t have a job, goes to school full-time, and is still living under your roof with you paying her primary support, you may still be entitled to collect child support until her 19th birthday. If this is the case, you should double-check with your caseworker to see if that’s possible.
Not right away. She is still not sure what type of career she wants to persue.
Well, I hope everything works out for her and you. And for what it’s worth, feel free to PM me if you’d like to talk about it. I’d like to see you turn your anger and frustration into using the system to work for your daughter, rather than against you. I’ve often said that I wouldn’t wish the child support system on my worst enemy (who could arguably, at times, have been my son’s father). The sooner I’m out of it, the happier I’ll be without a doubt. In my experience, if they (the government) can screw it up, they will find a way and they line their offices with government-issue cement block just so we can bang our heads in frustration on them.
No offense, of course, to CSEA employees who have the unmitigated duty of wading through all the red tape, on a daily basis, and witnessing firsthand the social fallout of its largely unwilling participants. Except the ones who treat us like the dregs of society simply because we need a government agency to get sort this stuff out.
Thank you.
In all honesty the CSEA has come a long way since I started getting child support in 1991.
When my ex lost his job the first time, many years ago, they really did not seem to do anything. I don’t think they sent him any letters back then. It seemed that the only thing they did was get the money, record a payment, and ship it out to the custodial parent. Checks were late for no reason and at times payments stopped for a month with no explanation. At least they have an automated system now and direct deposit. Things do run a lot smoother than they used to.
It is still sad though that it takes six months to get an evaluation completed but most of that is the time (60 days) they give each parent to send in all their information. When my ex got it lowered around 1998 we actually had to go to court and go in front of the judge. Now the case worker handles it all and you just have to mail it all in and wait for a judge to review and sign off on it. You are only allowed to do that every three years though.
At least I know that my case worker is on top of things as she must have sent in the request for the tax offset once he hit the $500 mark. I have had several different case workers and the last two I had sort of brushed me off when I was finally able to contact them if I got them at all.
I think the worse part is as soon as you complain or vent about child support the “money grubbing ex from hell” scenerio is suggested.
I have never asked for anything other than what the court ordered. I never called and whined, bitched or moaned about needing more money. I did not go every three years and get the order evaluated so I could get more money. I just wanted what the court ordered. Heck the only reason I did the evaluation when my son turned 18 was because I knew the support would be cut in half and $32 a week seemed like peanuts. The agency agreed and added $45 dollars a week. I wish I had done it sooner. I was suppose to be getting more for one child than I had been getting for two for the previous 11 years.
With all that is comes down to being told to fuck off. It really makes me wish I could go back in time and make his life a living hell. At least a couple times anyway. 
Consider yourself lucky then. I’ve been involved with the system on both ends, in multiple states, for roughly the same amount of time (son turns 18 in a month). As far as I can tell, CSEA is nothing more than a collection agency for the courts. They’ve made a lot of improvements in many states, but they still have a ways to go, IMHO.
I have been denied case reviews and shuffled off to the courthouse directly with no assistance from CSEA. I have been told they are there to simply to enforce orders and they can and will do nothing further to assure that the child is actually receiving support. They collect support, they distribute collections in accordance with existing court orders. They will are not there to advocate for the children or the custodial parent. Now, maybe I’ve had crappy caseworkers, and in the past I didn’t advocate on my son’s behalf effectively. But there it is. I regret every moment I’ve had to deal with the system.
I know what you mean. It happens on the flip side as well. Obligors are met with an adversarial attitude from the get-go, despite the fact that CSEA gets involved whether the parties are cooperative or not. Fall on hard times, or miss a payment, for whatever reason, and the obligor is treated like a deadbeat. I’m not exaggerating. This happens to people who accept their obligations as well. It’s as if the intentions of everyone involved is suspect. Even when the agencies make their own accounting errors and, trust me, they do.
I don’t think you really wish you’d made his life a living hell, because I’m quite certain you already know intuitively that his life is miserable. I think you’re angry that he doesn’t/didn’t care about his children the way he should, the way your children deserve (financial support aside). I’m talking about the emotional investment. The silver lining is that your kids have you, they know you care and that you’re there for him. And that you can rise above the hardships, his lack of interest and participation, and give them a better life. If not the kind of life you’d like to provide monetarily, at least emotionally. And that’s worth way more than a child support check.
Write him off and you’ll feel a weight lifted. Let CSEA do what it needs to do and you focus on the kids. People like you find a way to survive. And you love your children more fiercely because of his ambivalence. They’ll be just fine. 
With all sympathy for the OP, whose situation sounds nasty, I do have one question.
People have mentioned the withdrawal of this man’s driving licence. Well, but wouldn’t such an action merely increase the chances that he wouldn’t pay what he owes?
It most certainly can, particularly in areas where public transportation is lacking. They can also revoke professional licenses, which means that if you require a state-issued license to work in your field, you can no longer work in that field.
It sounds completely nonsensical, but it’s used primarily as a decentive to payees shirking their obligation. Yes, it can and does backfire on the support recipients, but in some cases it works on individuals who stand to lose a lot more than the ability to support themselves (i.e., white collar professionals who never miss a car payment on their Mercedes, perhaps). Don’t ask me how well it works, though.
It sounds like you have had a rough time and I do understand. I have had bad case workers.
Most of the time I could not reach them and voicemails were not answered. I remember one time I got no support for over a month. I knew my ex was working and had been at the same job for several years. When I contacted him his answer was “Maybe he quit his job”. I told him I knew for a fact he was still at the same job and working but he did nothing. He refused to look into the issue as I got the standard clone answer. “We get the money and send it to you, no money sent to us, no money sent to you”
A week later I got like 4 payments on the same day. I was still getting mailed checks then. So either support was doing some type of maintenance or his job was not sending in the money. Either way it sucked ass as I needed that money.
I am sure this happens as well. They miss one payment and the custodial parent is on the phone the next day. In my case I waited a week or so and then contacted my ex. If he claimed all was good then I contact the CSEA who of course never helped me. As I said before most of the time I could not get a hold of them anyway.
I am sure the attitude is someone is doing something wrong but I am sure at times they put up with so many “he said, she said” cases that they are hard to straighten out.
No I really don’t wish to do that but I can dream a little 
I love my kids and there are times I look back now and have no idea how I even did it. Even the time I was evicted he refused to do anything. He owed me back support and I could have really used it then but the CSEA would not do anything about past arrears. I remember sitting in my livingroom and crying because I just did not know what else to do. Thank goodness some other situations came up that gave us a place to stay for year to get things back under control
I feel bad that they do not have two parents to count on but they both know by now at their age they only ever had one. This pisses me off to no end. I guess at times I want them to hate and resent him as much as I do. They do not and I know that is a good thing but it still burns me up sometimes. I know that is a selfish feeling so I am trying to let it go and it does get better the older they get and discover their own paths. I can only hope it makes them become better parents some day.
They can as Brown Eyed Girl already stated.
I don’t really agree with that program but at the same time I think they are desperate to threaten anything they can use. Other than the tax offset they do not have many options. They can put them in jail if the courts will go that far but that is not often and even then the non-custodial parent owes thousands upon thousands of dollars in those cases.
They also have a passport ban they can set up to take away their passports so they can not flee the country but the percentage that most of the deadbeat parents even have a passport is slim.
I have to say in my case I do not consider my ex a deadbeat parent. I think he is behind in payments and I think he has always lacked parenting and the emotional support his children deserved from him.
I tried my best to make up for the lack of funds when he had sour times and the lack of parenting.
I do not deserve to be told to fuck off when I make a call to see if he is going to send something. Not after everything our children and I have been through in the last 17 years.
I know the 175 days does not make sense to some but for anyone that has gone through a bad divorce it is like the count down to the court date when it will all be over. It just took 17 years for that date to get close enough to look to at it with anticipation.
I suppose I can understand such a sanction against people who are perfectly capable of paying and are just saying, in effect, “Nyah Nyah, can’t make me pay!” It just seems to me that it would be likely to be counterproductive in many cases.
I do understand the frustration, though - since wage garnishment is not possible when he’s working under the table.
I understand that it’s possible and allowed legally. It’s just, well, let’s suppose your ex loses his licence. He can’t drive legally, but does so anyway, and as a result he’s fined or jailed. Neither of those would increase the chances of him paying the money he owes you. And of course, if he accepts his licence suspension and doesn’t drive, that limits the options he has to earn the money to repay the debt.
The passport thing makes more sense, I guess, though I’d have to owe a hell of a lot of money before I’d consider fleeing the country over it.
Well, anyway, these are just the thoughts that came to mind as I was reading your topic. I wish you all the best.
I’m sorry. I haven’t read this thread and I don’t have an axe to grind. But my step-daughter didn’t get the child support she needed and she got tired of using all of her energy to try to collect. But as soon as she heard that he was about to inherit money, she made her move in court. He never saw a penny of it.
Drop the dime on him for not reporting his income? It isn’t as if you’d be getting child support from it now, so if he lands in jail it’s the same thing as far as him supporting the kids.
Wow. Way to go step-daughter! Good for her and her children. I am sure they both deserve it.
It can be an emotional draining experiance trying to get what is fair for your kids.
You are correct. I could do that. But as I stated I never drew out the big guns before and to be frank I am tired. I am tired of even thinking about it or having to deal with it anymore.
I don’t think putting my childrens father in jail at this point in the game is going to solve anything.
My post was more of a vent because I am angry and wanted to put it in writing and get it out and that is what the pit is for.
Ok, just wanted to put it out on the table. I wish, that you hadn’t let yourself bend over backwards all those years, just for the sake of not seeming to be something you never would have been, even had you played hardball. I’m sorry your kids had to go through that too. 
comfort
For the most part, drivers’ license suspension is automatic. No payments in 3 months gets an obligor queued. Notice is sent by our office giving him/her 90 days to start paying/enter into a payment agreement/file motion with the courts to address license &/or amount of support. The 90 days is actually 111 days. A week prior to the actual suspension the Department of Public Safety sends notice to whatever address the obligor has on file, telling him/her that their license will be suspended the following Monday. We’re talking over 6 months from missed payment to suspension.
We also suspend occupational licenses and sports licenses (fishing/hunting). To suspend a fishing license is much more difficult than suspending a drivers license - to hunt/fish is a right, to drive is a privilege.
To whomever asked what’s the point of suspending a DL as it may cause a person to be unable to work? I consider it a cookie punishment, really. You pay support, you can have your license. MANY clients, when faced with losing their DL’s will suddenly call and make arrangements to pay, when all other attempts at contact with him/her have gone unanswered. We almost always request money up front and if an obligor reneges on a plan we give them at least a month to get back into compliance or to make arrangements to get back on board.
It also helps that my office is in an urban setting. I often field calls in the line of “I need my license 'cuz I can’t find a job”. Job = license does not correlate, unless you are a driver by trade. I keep the bus service as a quick link to give routes for them. The state also gives obligors a chance by allowing them to obtain a 90 day limited license after suspension, so that s/he may have time to start making payments and enter into a payment plan.
I’m sorry, but in reading your posts, I am a tad offended. I KNOW states are different, and some states do, for wont of a better term, SUCK. I see that you have not had the best experiences. However, statements like:
piss me off. The term “deadbeat” is verboten in the world of child support agencies. There are people who willingly abide by the terms of a court order, and there are those who either CHOOSE not to or do not have the ability to. People who choose not to pay are treated differently than those who do not have the ability to pay whatever the court ordered (note that while we may have input on the amount ordered, it’s ultimately up to the Magistrate/Judge to decide what amounts are ordered). People lose jobs - it happens. IF a client remains in contact, no problem. But because we’re the evil scary government, some obligors won’t call us to tell us what’s going on. We do try to call them when there’s a blip in the radar, and hope they will work with us so enforcement tools don’t set in.
If they choose not to work with us, it’s on their head when they certify for:
Drivers’ license suspension
Occupational license suspension
Federal and state tax offsets
Bank account levies
Student grant holds
Passport denial
Civil contempt charges
It’s not OUR responsibility to abide by the court order, it’s the obligors’. The obligee also has the duty to assist in collecting support due him/her - if you know where the obligor is working, call us. We’re not Kreskin. We MAY receive New Hire reports, but they’re not always the most timely and not all employers are required to report. I frequently close cases where the obligee chooses not to assist us. With high case levels (and with budgetary cuts they case counts will be increasing soon!) I won’t work hard on a case where the person due the money can’t be arsed to respond to letters/phone calls.
In Minnesota, all orders issued after 1992 require Income Withholding as the means of collection. If the obligee receives public assistance our agency is required to be the collector of support. If no public assistance is involved, either party has the right to apply for services. Due to the PA requirement we do have more than a fair amount of cases where the parties just don’t care - obligors are dealers/gang bangers/chronic addicts/various other issues that would keep a person from paying. We try to work those cases as hard as non-public assistance cases, but I flat out want to get money to an obligee that gives a damn.
I’m going on and on, I know. All agencies are NOT the same. We received an e-mail this morning that stated:
This is JUST the county I work for. I am a truly happy camper when I can get support for someone who has not received any in a while. I am delighted when I can help a client work with the system, rather than against it. We do have to get all punative with some people, but we TRY to work with people before that has to happen.
Okay, I’m done. If anyone has comments/questions, please feel free to PM me.
Wow. Ok. I just recall several of these idiots walking in totally shocked that their license had been suspended, apparently “out of the blue”, so I figured it must happen faster. Knowing now that it takes this long tells me that they’re Complete Fucking Morons who were simply trying to play the Sympathy Card with people who knew better.
But I also remember a conversation that I stood around for because the guy was being obnoxious and the HC deputies were not yet in the room; where the guy whined and complained about how he drove for a living and now couldn’t work without his license; whereupon the CS person just pointedly told him that he had already been suspended once before and maybe if his life depended on having the license, then he should wake up and pay his damned child support!
I’ve also seen more than one man whine and complain about how he couldn’t afford it, then pull out a huge wad of cash to make his relatively tiny payment.
On the other end of the spectrum, I see these celebrity divorces with absolutely obscene support payments, and think about how many other children could be supported on that amount. No one needs tens of thousands of dollars per month to take care of a child.
I still say that there needs to be a credit card type system for child support. The custodial parent gets the card, the non custodial parent pays into this card and can access the card information online, just like a bank account to see where the money is going.
You can only buy certain items for the child. If you have a son, then you can only buy boy’s clothing, food, a small percentage goes to bills because the kid does need shelter and transportation. If you have a girl, then only girl’s cloths.
You can’t use this card at liquor stores, casinos or anywhere that sells alcohol or cigarettes. Now, with this card, you can’t get any money out at an ATM. The whole state the card is active in needs to start accepting this card, just like a major credit card, maybe even the whole country.
The person who pays into this card can see where their money is going. I would bet a billion dollars (if I had it) that you would start to see at least a 50% rise in people paying their child support in a timely manner if something like this existed.
There are a lot of kinks that need to be worked out, but the whole card thing is do-able. They do it with WIC and Food Stamps, I’m sure they could also do it with child support.
I know there are a lot of people who say this wouldn’t work, but I know damn well that it would work. Like I said, there would be a few kinks at first, but if you think about it, it’s a perfect plan, and a fair one. I mean after all, you DESERVE to know where your money is going if you pay child support. Because I know DAMN WELL that the thousands that I have paid in child support have NOT all gone to my son. If there were an accountability credit card system like the one I have in mind, that would all change.