I am so Mad!

The BBQ Pit
#1

I just found out my ex hasnt paid his support (court ordered)and I wont get the $$ for aug until the end of sept…the oldest needs school shit, and the youngest has a birthday on monday coming, I have exactly 33 in the fucking bank and I am gonna cry! If it wasnt for my commision on this coming pay, I wouldnt even be able to cover my rent. Fuck! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK what a bastard. he fucking TOLD me on thursday that he would have the company sent the for aug15th on the 30thof aug…he lied.BIG fucking surprise there…
he hasnt seen the kids for over a month…his choice.2 months ago, he wanted me back, wanted to get married etc, now he wont even visit the kids.
fuck.

I am just so mad!
you dont need to reply, and I am not fucking whining either, just venting…if someone has a good "got the rat-bastard ’ story to share, that would be really swell.
FUCK!!!

#2

Tip:

Do not allowe yourself to be at the mercy of ex-husbands, ex-wives, ex-anythings. The very fact of their ex-ness makes them unreliable. Many seem to feel that because the primary relationship has ended, all commitments and obligations are at an end as well.

#3

what really tears at me is that he is obviously gonna blow off frankie’s birthday…
I adore that child like you wouldnt believe, and he used to also…I cant believe he would hurt my baby like this.
fuck…crying.

I hate him…and he was a bad lay!HA!!!

#4

Its ok Kelli-
I’m not expecting anything from that bastard anyway!
:wink:
-Frankie

#5

Kelli…wish I could help! All I can say is:
He’s a total Rat bastard who should have his balls singed with a red hot branding iron that says “I’m an SOB”. One thing you could try- see if your company can give you a small advance on your commission check. Then do what my sister did. Consider any support from him “extra” and just figure he isn’t going to pay it. I think all deadbeat dads (and moms) should have to wear a big scarlett “D” around. If you don’t feel better soon, I’ll help you cook up some nasty, vengeful shit that will make you feel better :wink:

An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.

#6

Why not try asking HIS boss for the money? You probably won’t get it but at least his boss will know what a deadbeat he is.

#7

I do not know what state you’re living in, (outside of the state you’re in, which is bad and I don’t blame you one little bit), but most states take a very dim view of people that don’t pay their child support.

Call the police on him. Tomorrow, bright and early. If he won’t pay you, he can explain his reasons why to the judge.

In my home town, there’s a special wing of the jail reserved for deadbeat parents. Always room for one more.

Sorry to hear you’re having these problems. I agree with you it’s a rat bastard thing to do. My mother raised 6 children all by herself in a time when deadbeat dads could get away with it, so I understand your pain all too well.

your humble TubaDiva

#8

I don’t even count on my child support anymore. If I get any, I consider it found money. Here in WI deadbeat dads don’t get any slack. The state looks for him for me so i don’t have to worry about that. They’ve even sent him to court for non payment! They also took away his drivers license. And as for Greg’s birthday, sad to say but he’s never sent anything or even called. As far as Greg is concerned, he has no dad. Due to his autism, I have no clue if he even thinks about him. I know that he knows that other kids have a father but he’s never asked me about his.

oh yeah…me ex has a small penis. :slight_smile:

MaryAnn
Sometimes life is so great you just gotta muss up your hair and quack like a duck!

#9

oops…“me” should say “my”.

MaryAnn
Sometimes life is so great you just gotta muss up your hair and quack like a duck!

#10

And I thought I had credit problems.

That’s it. I’m not having any children. In fact, I think I’ll singe my balls off right now…

One beer is less than two beers.

#11

thanks guys…I am better today…I know he is a shit, but he still manages to stun me with his total shittiness.
I have a contact at family court here in NB, and they called his employer yesterday to tell them to take a double payment off his pay on the 15th of sept, the chick at the office (shitboy drives truck) told the court worker “well, that wont leave him with much money!”
to which the court worker replied basically “tough”
he is already under court order to pay, and they have put a garnish(?) on his wages, so from now on, the $$ will be deducted from his pay.

:slight_smile: Frankie, I am glad you dont mind. :slight_smile:

I’ll get the rat bastard yet…just you wait!

#12

Kelli…excellent step…wage garnish is the way to go…be cautious, though…my sister found that after they started doing that to her rat-bastard ex, he quit his job and started working under the table. (and his boss knew he owed support- didn’t care). She turned in the company, they got in trouble, blah, blah, blah…just be careful about counting on it, even if it’s coming right out of checks :slight_smile:
Hang in there!!!

An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.

#13

I do worry about that, but not alot, shitboy has a crim. record, so it is HARD to find new employment…he wont screw around with his job.

I am more worried that he will try to have the $$ for the older child lifted…older child is not his( he is from first marriage)
and shitboy voluntarily signed to pay for both.

it would be pretty shitty to disown my oldest now, but hey!- he has done everything else!

#14

Boy, I am happier than ever to be a spinster lady!

#15

Kelli, all I have is hug for you. My dad was a “deadbeat” but he was also a self-employed carpenter and didn’t haveany money so he exchanged work on the house for actual money, which was fine with my mom, most of the time. Hope things work out. Best bet would be to write him out of the kids lives: don’t update him on anything, don’t talk to them about him (unless they ask and then be truthful), don’t expect anything of him.
Hope your day gets better!!!

#16

thanks…I am gonna cut him out (not make it so easy to drift in & out)…
my day got better as soon as I heard from you guys…

kisses to all…
Kelli

#17

The money is a bummer, but I think it’s even sadder that he’s distancing himself from his kids in other ways. That’s gotta hurt.

#18

{{{I am more worried that he will try to have the $$ for the older child lifted…older child is not his( he is from first marriage)
and shitboy voluntarily signed to pay for both.}}}—kelli

Pragmatically speaking, it sounds like money is the issue for you.

He should not be obligated to support a child that is not his own–exclusive of legal adoption. Since that has not occurred, you should release him from that particular payment.

The child has no way of knowing if you are receiving support payments earmarked for him unless, of course, you make it an issue with the child–which you should not be doing.

The fact that he voluntarily signed to support both children is of no consequence–he has the right to change his mind. The support for the older child should be paid by that child’s father. If the child’s father is no longer alive, do your best.

My ex tried getting me to pay support for a child fathered by another man, after our divorce. The entire courtroom got a good laugh as the judge berated her for the tactic.

I have offered to be a father figure to this boy to no avail…even though my ex is now collecting support from his father, who lives in another state and refuses to see the child, she wants me to pay more money to her to help a child that isn’t mine.

I’d better stop at this point, as I’m possessed of certain opinions on this subject that are better left unsaid.

:::bracing for the onslaught:::

–Kalél
Common ¢ for all ages…
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however, make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

#19

that quote was somewhat out of context…I was refering to the possibility that he might leave his job to avoid support…

my ex has been the dad for all but the first year.(7 years) It was his choice to do what he did. When I divorced my first husband, no support was ordered as I was with shitboy at the time, pregnant and we were to be married, he was planning to adopt the oldest.
Then he lost his job, and thing went down from there…but he has always considered them both his own.

I dont care nearly so much about the $$ as the fact that he might disown the oldest so he wont feel obligated to pay the support.
How would I explain that to him?
I have done everything short of follow him around and force the children on him.

Biology aside, they are both his,as much as they are mine, as much as a child can ‘belong’ to anyone.

I didnt try to force him to pay for both…he INSISTED…the court workers had never seen anything like it.He used to be a pretty decent guy…

and the kids know nothing of this…I keep smiling and telling them that daddy still loves them and he will visit as soon as he can.
Last night the youngest cried for an hour for his daddy…

#20

Kelli,

I am sorry…for the sake of your children. I really am.

I’m afraid that my own emotional past, with regard to such issues, makes me less than objective in matters such as this.

I’m going to refrain from further comment, except to say that I do empathize fully with your situation.

–Kalél
Common ¢ for all ages…
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however, make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.