I was always a fan of “Big Momma Jamma”
Hey, don’t knock it. That was some of Chesty McSlide’s best work.
The 1970s Emmanuelle series is available on DVD. The plots are stupid, but at least there are plots.
What’s Arabic for “boom-chicka-wah-wah”, anyway?
I’m with even sven and especially Oly on this one. First of all, I think even mildly kinky stuff is ‘out’ for her first time, and I’m even including the proverbial ‘money shot’.
I think that for the first time, she should see something pretty tame, and you should tell her that it’s extremely tame, because that will give her implicit approval for asking you for something a bit more heavy-duty if she wants it.
I think “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” would be a good choice. You can tell her it isn’t even considered a porn movie (since it’s not) but that it has some good sex in it. (I think that if she reacts to the scene that almost winds up being a lesbian scene, that will give you a clue of whether a movie that includes some genuine girl-on-girl will be OK the next time.) You can tell her you weren’t sure if she was ready for a real porn movie or not, but that if she wants the real thing after seeing this movie, you’ll get it for her.
Maybe she just wanted popcorn.
Won’t she be surprised!
If she’s just curious, then get her a standard porno. Not all-girl, not all-guy, not all facials, etc. Just an average porno, with some het sex, a threesome, and a little bit of lesbian action. Basically, representative of mainstream porn in america. You can tell her that there are some that are raunchier or more tailored to a particular taste, and some that are much tamer and less silly.
If you’re renting, watch out. She may not have the opportunity to watch it right off, but you’re stuck with the late fees if she doesn’t give it back promptly.
And if she becomes physically ill from watching porn, hey, it’s not your carpet she’ll be retching on, so don’t worry about it.
It’s too bad you don’t live near me, I’d be happy to give her (In the interest of cultural understanding) the Vivid Video sampler DVD my housemate gave me. (His cost: $0.28) The “Interactive body parts game” is hilariously stupid.
Something deep inside me is just too tempted to engage in a bit of social engineering. Definite candidate for a heavy duty Female Domination flick, big on the bondage, and humiliation of the male. You just don’t get a lot of chances like this, in life.
Naah. Don’t want this woman getting sent back home to be locked up in purdah for the rest of her life. Something mid-range in the hetero actual porno category is probably a better idea.
Ah, and those saying take this woman out to the “Feelthy Movie Store” should well consider how much of a trip to the moon that represents to a woman in traditional Afghan dress. While I don’t think Opal should let herself be put in the permanent procurer of smut category for these ladies, a trip to pornoland is probably a very major undertaking, emotional speaking. Traditionally, we all get our first porno from adventurous people we know. Then we have to do the dirty movie run on our own.
Tris
I’d highly recommend Night Trips (1989 distributed by Caballero) as anyone’s introduction to porn. It is beautifully shot, has a decent soundtrack (no wokka-wokka), a stupid but watchable plot and is probably the best encapsulation of the genre ever filmed.
It predates DVD, but it’s such a popular classic I’m sure it’s been transferred. Let us know how it goes.
Again, there is no point in suggesting titles to me. The video store has “around 150 titles” and the chances of anything anyone suggests being there is pretty much zero. And I’m not gonna print out a list, I’m just gonna go browse and find something straightforward and generic.
Best Thread Title Ever
Bestiality, for sure. Or She-Males.
You got my vote! 8/22/02 9:12 NYC
Osama Does Dallas?
err… Fallus Does Osama.
Ha ha… This reminds me of the story I heard today about the Saudi Arabian exchange student (who had never seen so much as his own mother’s hair) who’s paying his host family $450 to repair the damage done to their computer by the 200+ viruses somehow picked up in the process of downloading porn, which was found by the family’s 13-year-old daughter. This woman has probably been repressed for longer, make sure she doesn’t go nuts…
Its only a matter of time before we get a porn with a plot in Afghanistan.
and to steal Jack Batty’s excellent title,
“Being Laid in the Tora Bora”
Oh, it would not either.
Alas, my prime porno-viewing days were back in the late 20th century so I have no idea what today’s vid shop may be carrying . If they do have them from that time frame, FallenAngel**'s suggestion of “Night Trips” applies to any video by Andrew Blake – nothing extreme, everything beautifully shot, and you do see EVERYTHING (unless you get a “cable version”), though Blake tends to get all artsy-fartsy on his material. I’ll put in a word also for any of the “couples-oriented” vids on the “Vivid Video” label – jaded “raincoat” pornfans accuse them of being lame, but it should be adequate for this case and any respectable video store with an adult section must have a few of them.
Also, you may want an introduction/contrast with a softcore, something from Penthouse Video maybe – those usually are hardcore-with-the-good-bits-cut, so there’s much nekkidness and you pretty much are clear as to what’s up.
OpalCat, may I suggest you supplement this search with the moderated USENET group rec dot arts dot movies dot erotica (that OK, Mods?). Since it is a moderated group, you may get some actual answers from people who are up to date on the industry trends, and know what “safer” labels, series or producers are in current video shelves.
Maybe something where the women wear open-faced burkas that end above their ankles?
I would be so incredibly tempted to send her over some hardcore gay porn rife with domination and humiliation.
Her: Oh my why is that man in a dog cage and naked?
You: You’ll see.
a naked man enters the room wearing a leather mask and carrying a riding crop
Her: Oh my! I don’t know if I like this
You: Giggle maliciously in delight.
hardcore gay action ensues
Her: is this the type of thing men like?
You: But of course.
Her: I think I will try putting my husband in a cage like that!
Viva! The Cultural Revolution!
It just occured to me that Moslem men are circumcised. Odds are, your neighbor has never seen an uncut penis.
Book Recommendation- The Perfumed Garden
A piece of Arab culture that is sadly overlooked. Imagine the Book Of A Thousand Nights And A Night (Usually mistitled A 1001 Arabian Nights) crossed with Penthouse Forum. My favorite section is the author’s categories of vaginas. Some (the juicy, the ever ready for the fray) are praised. Others are regarded with horror. The description of the barred ends “God keep us from such a one!”
I think you can still get porn that is basically trailers for other porn - sort of a “cumming soon” attractions of 20-30 films you can order from the same porn studio. That might be best as it really isn’t porn per se, (heavy action but in snippets) but there is enough explicit material to let her see what is out there - so to speak. She can rationalize that she hasn’t really seen one, but would know what to expect if she did order one.
By the way - don’t be too sure she won’t show them to hubby, or at least leave them around for him to find.
But I would take lieu’s suggestion above and make sure you understood her correctly…maybe she is trying to say she wants to see Sex In The City…I guess you will find out soon enough after she slaps that puppy in her dvd!
I’m with the poster who said give straight on hetero porn. Nothing kinky, just full on boot knockin’ sex. What’s all the fuss. Let her have what she asked for.