I can see why you might want to close your account if you feel that you’ve been wronged, but why would you want to have all evidence that you had ever posted here deleted also?
Because as Billfish said: And in the past it’s been discussions about the death of a kid, a spouse, moms, dads, friends, former posters here, a near comatose son, rape victims, victims of child abuse, pedophiles, holy fucking crap on a stick disfunctional families and on and on.
I did do some reading here before I joined.
Why does anybody here think anything personal is something that should be talked about here? I’ve read more about explosive diareahha than I wanted too (though the reading part is my own damn fault).
I don’t care about the bicycle thread or the butterfly thread. I just don’t want the post about my family on here. Maybe I’m being overly dramatic, but like I said I have no clue whatsoever how to even live now. The post about my family, even though there were no details, on this board insults their memory. At least that’s how I’m seeing it right now. give it an hour or two and that may change.
I don’t know. I wouldn’t myself, but I notice that most people who do so don’t go away in a huff when others comment on it unfavorably. And most (all?) of those who do so do so with some experience under their belts.
I agree- I see nothing unusual about the topic, other than being extremely tragic. The timing is not your fault, and plenty of longtime posters said they missed the umkay kerfuffle until just recently, so it’s not up to you be on top of every last thread.
Frankly, based on nothing I think you’ve been treated kinda crappy, unless there is a concrete reason I’m missing to doubt you.
Frosty, far too many people here look to the persons join date as a barometer of creditably. It’s unfortunate, but many well meaning people are caught in that trap. Stick around and give the people a chance to know you. It will all sort itself out.
But if you are trying to disassociate yourself from that troll from another message board mentioned in the other thread, trying to get any mention of your tragedy deleted from this thread is absolutely the wrong way to go about it, since that is the route he took. Rightly or wrongly it causes people to think that you are hiding information, not protecting memories.
I’m confused. Was umkay a he? Or are you talking about someone else?
No way of knowing. The online persona was definitely female. The body behind it we’ll never know.
Frosty Camel you might find a better source of information and much more understanding over on the MADD Victim Support and Healing forum. Though to be fair, it doesn’t look as if there has been any activity over there in the past 6 months or longer. :-/
This can be a great forum to interact on, but right now you have some really special circumstances and needs and may want to google around for a “victim support” type forum to work those issues out in. One thing the people here are good at doing is finding crap on the internet, if you asked I am sure you would get many links in response for forums and support groups that might be better suited to your needs at this time.
Frosty Camel, can you link to a news article about your tragedy?
Is this required? No, but it would help support your credibility. We’re a bit gunshy at the moment.
If you go off in a huff, claiming this is an unreasonable request, it will tend to undermine your credibility.
It’s your choice.
You don’t have to defend yourself. If you’ve decided that this community is such a poor match for you that you want to remove all trace of a connection between you and us (which, if you’re telling the truth, is a quite reasonable decision under the circumstances), then you shouldn’t give a damn what any of us think. If some people here think you’re lying for a little while before quickly forgetting about you, it won’t make any difference whatsoever.
I’m not, but I think you’re doing exactly what most experts agree you should do: join a large general discussion forum and then get angry when people you don’t know don’t give you the kind of support you’re looking for. It’s supposed to be very therapeutic.
What you’re not supposed to do, under any circumstances, is talk to real life family or friends or join one of the many online forums for grief / bereavement. No good could come of that. Only anonymous communities for people to shoot the shit about their daily lives can give you the help you need.
Oh baloney.
Lets assume Frosty is telling the truth. Shit yeah he should get a therapist, join a real life therapy group and probably a bunch of other things.
But I’ve seen some damn good advice given here. Hour and hours and pages and pages worth of it. I rarey read an advice thread where at some point I don’t go “damn, thats a good point”. And it’s in a permanent form so you can mull it over and over. Not like a therapist that babbles for a half hour where you go “yeah…yeah..yeah” then forget most of it by the time you get back to the car. Yeah, loads of BS too. But if you have enough of a brain to sort the shit from the shinola you can get a lot of good help here. And it’s free and not’s bothering your neighbors or STILL living family members or coworkers, who probably don’t want to put as much time into helping you or even listening to your problems as some people here (in aggregate) are willing to do.
Is this the ONLY place one should get advice? Hell no. Is it the bestest place? Maybe not. Is it as bad a youtube or 4chan? Hell no.
love you giraffe, mean it, but i think you’re off the mark here. he explained in his initial post about this situation that the last of his family had gone back home and he was left alone for the first time since it happened. i agree it is essential to lean on any IRL support you may have, but people also have their own lives and can’t always be there when the loneliness kicks in and the urge to talk to someone becomes overwhelming.
Exactly. I’ve seen incredible support given here when posters spouses, children or other loved ones died. He was lonely, had called a friend who couldn’t make it over immediately and needed some “company” to get through a tough moment.
It may not be for everyone, but it’s a legit form of support and reaching out. We don’t have to be that cynical- even anonymous support can get you through.
We are not normally so cynical.
And this community can be very supportive and very caring – Quasi comes to mind, and Bearflag, and chique, right off the top of my head.
However, these are people who have been with us a while and were known entities when they ran into bad things. So it was easier for people to believe and accept and reach out to help.
Add in what we just went through and, well, “once bitten, twice shy.”
I’m sorry for what you’re going through and I hope with all my heart that you have real-life sources of support to help you in these terrible times.
Hrm, where have I heard that before?
He was being sarcastic people. :rolleyes:
Frosty, I’m sorry for your loss.