How do I get a kitten to bond with my wife?

Every cat is different and I mean some of them are night and day different. I’ve had two cats over the last 20 years. One of them would “bond” with anyone that would offer a lap. And I mean that cat would be lap fungus for 8 hours easy for anyone with a stable lap. :slight_smile: My other cat, currently 21, took 2 years before she’d stand on my lap and still longer to accept being held. Even today when she’s completely dependent, there’s only a couple ways that are acceptable holding positions.

IMO, try treats and always make your wife the source of treats, at least until the cat(s) learn it. She needs to shake the can/bag of treats before she gives them so she’ll be able to “call” them. (This worked great for me one time when my 100% indoor cat got out and wouldn’t come when I called. She trotted up very nicely when I shook her food bag. :slight_smile: )

Just get your wife to ignore the kitten. Force her to give attention to all the other cats, and this new kitty will be all like, that’s not fair, and like her. Cats do whatever you don’t want them.

Seriously, you need to find another cat. I’m sure there are lots of cats out there that would love to sit in your wifes lap and be driven around all day in a wheel chair. Go to a shelter and I bet you will find at least one cat who will run up to her and love her.

Can’t you take your wife to the shelter and look at animals together? You can play with several at the shelter to find one who would be loving toward her. Going by yourself is really no indication whatsoever. A cat may like men but not women, and would look really fluffy and playful if you go to the shelter by yourself, but wouldn’t like any women very much at all. You just never know how they’re going to interact until the cat actually meets its human.

This doesn’t appear to be getting the props it deserves. I almost snorted my lunch out of my nose. :smiley:

Stick with me, because this might sound crazy.

Have your wife completely ignore the cat. If the cat walks into the room, your wife should look at it in the eye for just a second, blink slowly, and then turn her head/chair away and ignore it. She should not, at any point, approach the cat, unless the cat has approached her. The only time she should acknowledge the cat at all is at feeding time–she should be the one to put out the food. That will show the cat that she is important to get to know, she is the bearer of food, but will not feel pressured by her advances until it is ready to approach her.

Cats aren’t dogs and they aren’t people–they have very different body language and social cues. Ever notice how the one person in the room who hates cats, or is allergic, has all the cat’s attention? That’s because they are the one shying away from the cat, trying to ignore it, while other people are trying to push themselves on the cat. Cats don’t want to feel pressure and don’t want to be approached unless you already have a strong bond with the cat.

Tie a long piece of string onto the end of a stick so that your wife can play with the kitten easily. That might get the kitten used to your wife, which could help. I second the suggestion that you may have more luck when your wife is in bed-- I’m sure the cats don’t dislike your wife, but rather the chair. She might have more luck if she’s sitting on the couch or in an armchair. Is the wheelchair a noisy electric model? I’m not surprised if the cats don’t like that.

Bond, indeed.


Well, thanks for the advice everybody. I appreciate it.

My daughter’s kitten bonded with me recently because of this thick fuzzy blanket I was keeping on my legs. I didn’t cuddle or caress her or anything; she just liked the blanket a lot. When I put it on my lap she’d get in my lap and sometimes she’d do that “biscuit making” thing and nuzzle it. I guess it reminded her of mama cat. After a while she’d get in my lap and snuggle me without the blanket.

Edited to add: awww cutie kittems!

Yeah, hard to imagine why a cat might be wary of an unpredictably moving object with huge, tail-crushing wheels…

The chair is still 99% of the time and when my wife goes to bed usually one of the cats will lay in the seat. He even doesn’t mind the wheelchair being moved around (it’s electric). In fact, last night, I put the kitten in the chair and he was fine.

The cats may just not like the angle of her lap or something. My cats adore me, but only want to sit on me when I’m in a certain chair, in a certain position, and holding perfectly still.

My best friend’s mom is in a wheelchair, and she got her cat companion to adore being with her practically 24/7 by putting a basket on the front of her electric scooter. When she got a more traditional wheelchair, she attached the basket to the side of the chair, where she could still pet the cat.

Kitties are very particular about their perches.

I’m torn*…on the one hand, I’m ticked because it’s what I thought – verbatim – when I read the thread title and I was beaten to the punch. On the other hand, I’m very happy to find that it was the first response.

*I know, “You’re torn? Try Gorilla Glue. Then clamp it overnight.”

I liked it too. Its Horror Movie season & the first thing I thought of was, “Wow. That’s one Hell of a costume.” :wink:

The Wife with Two Heads!!!

"Did you remember to do the dishes??? HarrrRRRRRRUUUURhhhh!!! Hisss! Slasssh! Slasssh! Slasssh!
Coming to a Party near you…!

“Coming to bed sweetie!?” Purrrrrrr! Purrrrrrr! Purrrrrrr!

Gorgeous kitten! Cats are funny. Our last kitten has nothing to do with me. Nothing. He will sit on my boyfriend’s lap occasionally, but never mine. If I grab him, he stays for approximately .25 seconds. I like to remind him occasionally that I pay for the cat food, but he remains unconvinced.

There are some tiny glimmers of hope he’s getting use to her. Fingers crossed.

Have her start reading a book. Cats can’t resist an open book.


An open laptop on her lap might do the trick, too. It works for me. :slight_smile:

A book, maybe, but we don’t own a laptop.

A book works too. One of our cats is insanely jealous of both books and laptops. If he’s in a standoffish mood I could call him for five minutes without even getting a look, but the minute I open a book and try to read it, he’s on the arm of the chair, walking back and forth my lap (Maine Coon. most won’t sit on laps, and usually avoid them all together 'least you try to hold them there), butting me with his head, whining at me…the more I ignore him, the more frantic for my attention he becomes. So give her a book and instructions to respond in no way to the cat for 30 minutes and see what happens.

A book, a keyboard, kitty treats… 230.20321