I had this wonderful plan about what a great parent I was going to be, and how I was going to introduce my daughter to a range of tasty dishes, cultivating varied tastes. I think you can see where this is going…
I now have a 17 month old who will eat macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, oatmeal, rice, apple sauce, string cheese, jello, and cheetos (thanks, grandma). Every day I attempt to feed her some kind of vegetable, and every day she pushes it away, yelling “no, no, nooooooo!” while she cowers in the corner in sheer panic at the thought. Even with her favorite foods, she will visually inspect each spoonful to ensure no dread vegetable bit sneaks in. Sometimes, even a single taste of a vegetable will put her off dinner completely, and we get the joy of her waking up hungry in the middle of the night.
Whats the trick here? She’ll try a bite of anything I happen to be eating and seems to enjoy things she tries, but heaven help us if these things find her way on to her own plate. She’s too young to reason in to trying one bite, or for threats or promises to work. She did transition to solids late, and has a strong gag reflex, but she’s mostly overcome that and can plow through a bowl of mac and cheese with no problem.
Ideas? When does it get better? I’m getting a little tired of dutifully preparing dishes for her, only to be refused night after night.
Others will be along to give sensible advice. I’m the cautionary tale: my mother threw up her hands and said “I have better things to do than argue with a three-year-old; he won’t starve.”
As an adult, I’m still a very finicky eater. I’ve tried to push myself, and while I’ve gotten loads better, I’m still far too finicky for my friends, family, and my own comfort. One thing I’ve learned is that sheer repeated exposure makes things less yucky. I actually don’t mind zucchini now, whereas I used to hate it. So my suggestion is a small bite mixed in with other things, gradually increasing. So far nothing has made it from “dislike” into “like,” but things have gone from “dislike” into “don’t mind so much.”
Put the vegetables on your plate and let her “steal” them. Worry about teaching table manners next year when she’s more capable of grokking logic and wants to be a “bagel” (big girl).
are we talking green vegetables? there’s been a lot of talk that small children can be really sensitive to the bitter compounds in many green vegetables. I wouldn’t worry about it right now. 17 months isn’t really the time to worry about “tasty dishes.” she’s not a little adult. let her eat what she will eat, and worry about expanding her palate later.
I don’t remember what I would and wouldn’t eat when I was that little (who does?) but I do know a few of the things I would refuse when I was young I’m perfectly fine with now. I hated (hated) baked potato when I was in grade school. I’ve no problem with it now.
Bolding for emphasis. Feed her off your plate for a while? Give her an empty one, or with a tiny amount of what you know she likes, but then let her pick from your plate and put it on hers?
Hey, it gives you an excuse to grab yourself extra helpings!
Maybe don’t call things vegetables, make up pet names for stuff, and yeah, don’t force it. Isn’t the number like 9 tries for some kids to decide they like something new?
Oh, it’s definitely a power play. She will happily eat tidbits off my plate at random times, often of pretty exotic stuff. She has a strong stubborn streak (just like me), and has definitely learned the power of the word “no.”
I know I don’t want to turn this in to a power struggle. I want her to have a happy relationship with food, while still getting a good variety. I was a picky eater as a kid, but now I eat literally everything. I’m hoping to keep the picky eater stage short and relaxed.
Wait until the kid is actually hungry. Present a communal plate of cute little veggie shapes. Dip is generally popular. We also did color lunches. Orange day! Carrots, oranges, mac and cheese. Finish everything on your plate before you get seconds.
Avocados are great for that age group. Also, never serve pasta plain. Boil the noodles with cauliflower or peas or whatever. Again, no seconds unless you finish all of the first bowl. But keep it fun and light. Don’t engage.
Kids don’t know squat about what they are supposed to like. I still tease my 12 yr old about the frozen banana with grated cheese she liked so much she had seconds. I forget how that combination ended up on her plate.
Even now, when they are tweenies, I give a choice of green salad or apple slices. I don’t care which one they pick, but they must pick one.
We have sort of a three pronged approach. First, all food is spoken about in positive/neutral ways. Food is crunchy or tasty, not fattening or gross. Second, we let her pick out a new fruit or vegetable every time we go to the store and we will buy it, no questions asked, and make it at home to try. (This week’s fruit is honeydew.) Third, we dance and sing. Seriously.
Any time she tries a bite of a new food she gets positive reinforcement. If she eats at least 4 bites of a new food we stand up, clap and sing “Applause” by Lady Gaga while we dance next to our chairs. I suppose we look like crazy asses to anyone who happens to see us through the window, but yesterday for dinner she had salmon and spinach because that is what she requested. When we go grocery shopping she runs through the fruits and veggies yelling, “Mama can we please get broccoli? I love, love, love broccoli! Ooh, and carrots!” I’ve actually been stopped by people in the store to ask what kind of wizardry I managed to come up with to get her to beg for vegetables. It took a while for the benefits of our efforts to manifest but by golly she loves almost every food we put in front of her now.
you’re overthinking this. she’s not you. you’re viewing this from the perspective of an adult. you want “the picky eater stage” to be short to benefit you, not her.
I don’t have great advice, but that’s never stopped anybody before :).
Some random things I’ve tried, with varied success, with my little ones:
-Frozen mixed vegetables. I think they’re nasty, but sometimes my girls will eat them in great quantities, when boiled in salted water and then tossed with butter. I think the bright colors, small sizes, and sweetness work well together. (I think the carrot-and-peas mix was most successful).
-Lately they’ve been really into cabbage sauteed in butter, with little brown spots. My wife and I don’t really eat it much, but it gets vegetables in them, so I’ll hack off a hunk of cabbage, chop it up, and cook it right before dinner goes on the table.
-The desperate measure works if you normally have dessert after dinner (and probably won’t work for another several months): don’t make a big deal out of it, but tell her that dessert is for kids in the clean plate club. Make sure her serving is small enough that she can reasonably eat it, keep the mood light, de-emphasize it, give second chances to eat the vegetables if she changes her mind, but don’t budge on the requirement. That sort of works on my toddler and definitely works on the six-year-old. She always has the choice not to finish dinner, of course; it just means no dessert.
I think it was Peg Bracken, author of The I Hate To Cook Book who remarked that if you mash together cooked peas and carrots, children will sometimes – not always, but sometimes – eat that.
I grew up eating frozen mixed vegetables, though my mother and grandmother cooked them with Indian spices. They appeal to kids, I think, because the peas, carrots and corn are all fairly sweet. If you need a recipe to make them palatable I can give you one.
I agree with** jz78817** regarding the sensitivity to bitterness and young kids. Some things just don’t taste good to them, and it is hard for them to give it a chance. Broccoli and brassicas as well as leafy stuff is going to be a challenge.
Try to find some vegetables that tend not to be bitter, like sliced carrots, sweet red peppers, etc., and make sure she sees you eating them all the time as a snack. Maybe have some “dip” (as we called it) handy, like Ranch dressing. Make sure she sees and hears your noshing (“mmm, crunch, crunch, mmm”). Eventually, curiosity will trump “no”, but it takes time and patience. For cooked veggies, go ahead and drench them in butter or cheese. I know these are not necessarily healthy, but consider it a stepping stone.
My son used to pick up the veggies on his plate and quietly move them to mine, as if I would not notice. Granted, he was bigger than yours, but I would require him to at least taste what was on his plate.
Hang in there. She wont be eating only mac-n-cheese when she walks down the aisle.
What’s difficult about this? You have two options:
Keep the veggies on your plate and act surprised/“upset” when she grabs your food and eats it and giggles - i.e., reverse psychology
Offer her mac and cheese, but only if she eats the veggies first - and be serious. Be happy to not let her eat dinner if she doesn’t. “Okay, I guess you aren’t hungry.” No different than Ferberizing, i.e., letting her cry herself to sleep and not giving in to that particular power play.
What works for me is a combination of letting my toddler sit on my lap sharing my food and a family style serving of food at the table. It eases the pressure of a plate of food that my kid has to eat, and makes dinner more social. From a working mom standpoint there are more dishes–the serving bowls-but dinner is so much less stressful and everyone seems to eat better.