How do I look after my goatie?

Right then, I’m 23 and I’ve got a few weeks off from work so I decided to see what I would look like with a little goatie beard. A few people whose fashion opinions I pay attention to say they liked it so I decided to keep it for a while longer.

My only problem is I have no idea how I’m supposed to look after it! I don’t want to leave it to get all scraggly and long, so how am I supposed to keep it a short length? I have some hair clippers but they’re obviously too big, is there some kind of beard clipper that will do the job?


It’s goatee .
:: wanders off muttering about goats ::

::Scott’s head explodes:: Iä! Shub-Niggurath! The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young!

I think Jesus may have had a goatie. :slight_smile:

Personal Groomers?

This and lessons will help keep your goatie nice and neat.

First, go get a soda straw…

I don’t know. How did you look before?

Get rid of it NOW. Or else people like me (i.e. me) will keep saying “Oi, mate: you’ve missed a bit!”.

I literally pulled my mental file on goat raising (which I did for years) and came in.

I do wear a goatee sometimes though. I would advise growing a full beard, then when thick enough trimming it with a battery operated trimmer, cleanshaving cheeks and under chin, and sculpting it into shape with a Mach 3.

I’m searching my memory, trying to think of somebody, anybody, who looks better with a goatee than he would either clean-shaven or with a full beard. Maybe Walter Pidgeon. I’d recommending not doing it unless you have a long, lean face.

Goatees are wonderful for concealing a weak chin, thus having the added benefit of making it easier to change pillow-cases… :stuck_out_tongue:

They just seem so last decade.

How to care for a goatsie?

Reminds me of a joke I read in Playboy when I was a lad:

Seems a young man has gone off to college and grown a goatee, and sent home a photo with the caption: “I look like a count, no?”

His father harrumphed and said, “Send him to college and he still can’t spell.”

Thanks. I’ll be here all week.

Speaking of goatee jokes, wasn’t it an episode of Absolutely Fabulous where they were talking about some famous older lady, and Patsy or Eddy said about the older lady, “One more facelift and she’ll have a beard”?

I think you should try teaching your “goatie” to spell, for starters.

There are millions of electric razors with little attachments that allow you to trim the hair.


Thanks for some of the replies, after reading the responses and having a quick check round the net I have a few more questions-

Is there a difference betwen the £5 beard trimmers and the £25 versions? It does seem a big difference.
Any makes I should look out for? I have a set of Remington hair clippers and I’m not overly impressed (they sometimes don’t cut, sometimes do which is fun when you have cut half your head)

To the people who say I shouldn’t have a goaty - I’m trying to look a bit older as people still treat me like a kid, here is a pic of me to help you decide, though I now have shorter hair and smaller glasses.

{Bolding mine.}
Now you’re just messing with us.

Yeah… look, we have rules. Spell the thing right or you don’t get to keep it. :wink: