She checked out a library book and I was the one who ended up using it. It was due two days ago (not counting the seven-day grace period). Although I had put it on my desk to remind myself to return it on Monday, I forgot on the way out, and was out of town yesterday, so I returned it this morning (no incident, no fines, etc.). I acknowledge that the book was my responsibility, and I took care of it. Nevertheless, I got this email:
I’m not sure how to respond to something like that. Don’t talk to her about it? I don’t have the right to apologize or defend myself?
I’ve been going back and forth about this in my mind all morning. This is a very small office populated by some rather, well, gossipy and clique-y workers. Coworker in question sits not more than eight feet away from me when she is in the office. I get pretty upset about things like this, as much as I try not to, because I already know what it’s like to be “villain of the week” here. It makes working very difficult, no matter how much I like my job.
My boss has told me that if I have problems with coworkers that I should tell him and he will take care of it, but again because the workplace is so small, I’m afraid it will only be the worse for me. Yet I really desire to defend myself here. It’s hard. I’ve never been an assertive person.
I normally have a decent relationship with my coworkers, although the one in question can be kind of flighty. Should I let this one go? Should I respond (civilly and respectfully, of course)? Is there any way to be professional about this while being assertive?
If it were me, I’d return the book, pay any fines in full and reply to the email message advising her the book has been returned and all fines (assuming there are any, you did mention a grace period) have been taken care of. I’d end the email with “I hope my delay in returning/renewing the book hasn’t caused you too much inconvenience.”
I would reply that you are really sorry for troubling her and you did return the book already and again apologize for making her worry. Also point out that there is a 7-day grace period and thus no fines were assessed against her account, and if there had been, of course you would have paid them. Then add, again, that you are very sorry for not returning the book. Then just drop it.
She sounds a bit short-fused. I mean, it’s not like you forgot to mail her signed mortgage application. She’s right that you should have returned the book but I think her reaction was a bit much.
I think it would be appropriate to apologize, perhaps something like “Sorry about the scare on that book, it’s all taken care of.” Other than that, you have done as she instructed.
The only thing I see to defend yourself against is the insult of her condescension. I doubt anything is to be gained by tackling that. But when someone has an attitude like that, I sure don’t go out of my way to do them any favors.
What is the big deal about a fine for being late returning a book? When I used to use the library a lot, I’d almost always run late and have to pay a fine. I always considered it more or less a donation to the library. I seriously doubt that it would ever show on any credit report and unless you have a book that is currently popular I don’t see why it hurts anyone.
[sup]A couple of years ago, my wife found a library book on a plane. It was from Maryland. I kept the book and read it, but then forgot to mail it for a couple of months.) When I returned it I enclosed $2 and I’ll bet that everyone involved at the other end were happy as hell to see it (even if I hadn’t enclosed the $2.) [/sup]
I wouldn’t bother apologizing. She got her panties bent out of shape over nothing. Perhaps had she taken a nicer tone, then an apology would be in order.
“I’m trying to be calm about this”??? Please, give me a fucking break.
Granted, the book should have been returned on time, but 1) it was returned well within a 7 DAY GRACE PERIOD, and 2) had you even returned it a day LATE, I’m sure you would’ve picked up the 7 cent fine or whatever.
She acts like the library is going to report her day or two late return to Equifax as a collections account. Let her pull the stick out of her own ass.
I would simply email her back, say the book was returned to the library on (date,time)
No further explainations or apologies needed.
If you wanted to be a real smartass, you could close by saying something like “thank you for your concern” but that probably wouldn’t help any future situations.
Tell her everything’s taken care of, her library reputation has not been sullied, and you’ve appealed to the board to build a new wing in her name. Ask her how she’d like the plaque to read:
“Donated miss Bitchy-Pants’s thoughtless co-worker,
whose $.03 fine made this all possible”
I would quote the phrase, “you are an adult and should not need a reminder to return a book”, and remind her that as an adult, you had other responsibilities and chores that needed attending to. As an adult would do, you returned the book and made sure her account was in good standing.
…and then as an adult would do, you complained about it on a message board.
I kid. Seriously, I wouldn’t even bother responding to it. If she brings the subject up in person, let her know that you took care of it, and made sure her account was still in good standing. Then buy her a coffee.
The most satisfying response would be “Chill, bitch.”
The best response is a terse, “The book has been returned.” With no other accompanying text, this would pretty much carry the subtext of “…and thanks for being snotty about it.”
I’m with those who suggest a very bland, flat, facts-only approach: “I returned the book on [date], within the grace period. There was no fine.” Don’t apologize or explain; that would imply that her bitchy whining had some sort of merit. The flatness of your reply will convey what you thought of her complaint without being overt.
I’m with Scarlett. Reply to the email as tersely as possible, sending the original message along with it for contrast. If she has any sensibility, she’ll be embarrassed by the hysterical nature of her email.
I totally forgot about the book. Oops! I apologize for that. I didn’t get the chance to read it, so I will immediately tear out the 16 pages that I need for my research (since the copy machine is currently being used). After that I’ll return it for you. No need to thank me, it’s no problem at all. And rest assured, when I’m finished with the missing pages, I’ll go back to the library, ask the librarian to retrieve the book, and then glue the pages back in. By the way, can I borrow some glue?
I would either not reply at all or reply with “Done.” and leave it at that, no matter how tempting it would be to drop by her desk to offer a couple of Valium and a glass of water.
I’m not sure how to respond to something like that. Don’t talk to her about it? I don’t have the right to apologize or defend myself?
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