I think you should proceed on the assumption that she’s not a lesbian. If you score then either she’s not a lesbian or you scored with a lesbian which is even better in a way. 
Sensible shoes.
If you aren’t ready to make your move, and want to be subtle about the talking thing, try asking the question like this “So what makes a romantic relationship good for you?” Follow up with “And what kind of person do you see yourself with?” See - gender neutral. Friendly. Non-judgemental. Leaves an opening for you if she indicates you are the kind of person she is interested in, allows you to save face if she perfers the company of women.
I wish I was a lesbian.
Yeah, they get so much done in a day!
peace,
JB
Whoa! Shades of Pippi Longstocking…well, okay, but the perky braids are out.
Back to the OP: some few, fortunate folks have infallible radar (or gaydar) but the rest of us just muddle along. You like her for her company as well as being interested “that way”, right?
Sounds to me like gossip is the main problem. Why let gossip damage what’s already a friendship? The corner whisperers are comic relief. Maybe she’s straight and “the one” for you. Maybe she’s straight but the two of you just don’t click. Maybe she IS gay but hell, your life’s still been enriched by a friend.
Veb
Holy guacamole! I’m a lesbian!
Hey, I’m not complaining…
Ooo! Now I feel all warm and tingly!
Oh no! I must be a lesbian too! I have all these sensible shoes. (I didn’t want to end up like my mom and older sister, who insisted on wearing high heels, and eventually had to have painful foot surgery.)
One of my oldest friends came out of the closet a few years ago. (I’ve known her since she was 4.) I had no idea beforehand. No “signs”. Sometimes you just don’t know!
I will second the person who said that some guys will say a girl is gay when she won’t go out with them. So - who cares what the other guys say? They may be just rejected suitors.
Wednesday I went to a pizza party & asked a young lady if she had a boyfriend & she said ‘no’ so I asked her if she had a girlfriend & she said ‘no, I’m straight’ 
[LW3]
You mean you wish you were a lesbian.
[/LW3]
I wish there were a way to tell if a girl is a lesbian or bi other than just asking her. After the forced into a lesbian lovathon thread, I’ve become curious again. The problem being is that I like very girly girls and it’s difficult to tell if they-um MIGHT like girls. I would hate to ask another girl out and not know if she’a lesbian or bi. That would be VERY uncomfortable.
Maybe the striped socks would be a good idea…
Ok now I am just confused! One of my best friends who is a lesbian just asked me out to dinner tomorrow night. She knows I am a gay man, so is she trying to make me a lesbian? Do I have shoes sensible enough to be a lesbian? See what y’all have done? Shame on all of you.
How do you know if a woman is a lesbian?
She has a vagina.
(Sorry. Really sackin’ track record here… 
)
swampbear
Ok now I am just confused! One of my best friends who is a lesbian just asked me out to dinner tomorrow night. She knows I am a gay man, so is she trying to make me a lesbian? Do I have shoes sensible enough to be a lesbian? See what y’all have done? Shame on all of you.
Well, swampbear, have you ever considered the possiblity that you might be… A LESBIAN TRAPPED IN A MAN’S BODY?? :eek:
Sorry, sorry, I just had to say it… 
Oh yeah, to the OP - there are people who are “touchy-feely.” There are people who are lesbians. Sometimes the two traits intersect, sometimes not. Like everyone says, there’s only one way to know - ask them.
-Ben
“So when’s the operation, Handy?”
On, no, matt, it’s not necessary. WHen I was born the doctor picked me up & said to my folks 'It’s a lesbian!"
Modernronin2 quote:
Well, swampbear, have you ever considered the possiblity that you might be… A LESBIAN TRAPPED IN A MAN’S BODY??
Could it be that’s what my Lesbian buddy wants to find out? Should I go buy a pair of Birkenstocks just in case? Inquiring minds wanna know.
Ask her in a roundabout way. “Does it remain false that you aren’t any longer not a former lesbian?”
Elvira Kurt (a lesbian comédienne) said it would be easier for us if they were all green or something.
But oh well. It’s difficult to sense homosexuality from appearance or behavior (unless he/she always wears a t-shirt that says “Kiss me I’m gay”). “Gaydar” is simply not feasible. Talking is the best solution. Try to steer a conversation toward past relationships. That usually works, and you don’t run the risk of going out with her if you’re just curious.
I don’t suppose it’s worth at all explaining to you how the whole “lesbian in a man’s body” thing is spectacularly offensive?
Sigh.
tell her you’ve just had your house re-carpetted and it tastes great.