Yes, even if it’s something I can’t do anything about. Men are quite capable of being sympathetic, as long as we know what you want is sympathy and not solutions.
I, uh, love clothes shopping with my wife. If left to her own devices, she will buy the frumpiest, wrong-color-iest thing every time. She knows this, so when we go she stays in the dressing room while I shove things in to her, six at a time. The clerks and other shoppers think this is hilarious. And yet, I am still manly as fuck.
As to the OP, treat us like virgins in public and whores in bed. Right, fellas?
What I want from you (whether you=current partner or you=female person of no particular connection to me) —
• Don’t assume there are differences between me and you on the basis of sex, aside from how our genitals are shaped and period and pregancy, without giving really serious and continuous and ongoing consideration to the possibility that differerences you think are inherently sex-based are actually cultural or political, or that they exist in general biologically but don’t apply to all individuals and that the individuals to which they do not apply perhaps need to be understood in their own light and not dealt with as a generic example of their sex.
• Don’t assume I’m thinking that you’re different from me. Assume I read the above and took it to heart a long time ago. I wrote the damn thing, didn’t I? Assume that in my eyes, regardless of your cuteness and desirability, you are fundamentally a person same as myself, and that I expect of you pretty much what I expect of myself.
• About the parts that are different, as we perceive them: talk about them. It’s almost always interesting. It’s almost never embarrassing or threatening. Assume at all times and in all ways that yes I want to compare notes. Ask questions and volunteer any information that you don’t think I’d have, for either cultural or biological reasons, direct access to. Heck, volunteer any damn info that seems interesting to you — my male friends would, and I bet your female friends would. Don’t censor stuff out or assume that because I’m a guy I would not understand, care, be able to relate, or give a shit. Include me in.
What I want from you (you=current partner) —
• We start from scratch. Don’t come in with any preconceived notions of how boyfriends and girlfriends, or lovers in general, or couples in general, or partners in general, are supposed to behave or establish understandings or be construed by other people as being. We write our own ticket. Me, I have notions, an agenda, a vision, all that stuff. You probably do too. I don’t get to take my visions and whatnot for granted until you say that’s fine with you. You don’t get to do so either. We have to hash it all out. Mine is damn unconventional so be aware of the necessity of questioning conventional assumptions. I expect a thinking woman, a theorist, a feminist, a sexual-political woman who has written papers on how things could be with a man. If not papers, some other rendition. I expect you to have a vision, a notion, and to be prepared to engage.
That’s pretty much it.
Let him buy “toys” (car parts, electronics, whatever)? Otherwise, that about covers it.
What Ruken said. Kindred spirits et. al. I’d add that there ought to not be petty passive-aggressive behavior when I do not get what I want, etc., and that I’d try to stick with a conversation even if I didn’t like the direction it was taking, 'cuz I’ve been on both sides of those, but I like Ruken’s rules.
Damn, I forgot one that was a real problem in my last big relationship.
DO remember that “That Was Then And This Is Now”
If old friends and/or I tell a story about, “Remember that time we did that (drug/s) and did (stupid and or fun stuff)” . . .
realize that THEN was sometime in the 1970’s or 1980’s.
NOW is the fact that we quit doing drugs in the early '90’s and wouldn’t do (drug/s) if it was free. We have mortgages, kids, professional careers and suffer much more greatly from hangovers. Plus we know too many people who died or ruin their lives on (drug/s).
Yes we had a damn good time. No, we don’t want to get anywhere near it today.
The same thought applies to ex-wives and girlfriends - yes it was often fun, no, we don’t want to do it again.
Remember what Tim O’Brien said, “Stories are what we tell to remind us of how we got from where we were to where we are.”
Plus, it’s some funny shit.
whistlepig
Just one thing, really. Have a close female friend. Bonus points if she doesn’t hate my guts.
With this friend, you should go out and have fun without me every now and again.
But the most important service your friend will perform is simple. You know that woman at work that you hate? Please, please, please (I’m begging you) vent about the uber-bitch-from-work to your girl friend, and NOT TO ME.
Thank you.
Fuck me and let me cook for you.
But here’s the catch: you have to want to shag. I could probably get a shag every night, but I feel kind of icky if I suspect the woman is just doing it to please me. I have to know that you want to do it, otherwise I won’t want to. Well, actually, I will, or in fact my willy will, but it won’t please me as a person. Afterwards.
I can only speak for myself here, but I want my wife to challenge me every single day, I hate pushover women, the cook and screw type. A little appreciation for the little things goes a long way, even if it’s just saying thanks.
The one thing that irks me about women more than anything in the world is that many of them assume that you have a grand scheme to everything you do. I’m making a turkey sandwich because I’m hungry and want a turkey sandwich, not because I’m trying to avoid doing the dishes and going to your annoying cousin’s house for dinner. Don’t take it personally!
<cringe> I do that too. I didn’t realize it either until one of my ex-boyfriends noticed it and managed (for several months running) to make sure we were at his place the three days before my period. I couldn’t figure out why my apartment was such a mess until I realized I only really clean once a month.
This is an excellent point. It’s very frustrating on these boards to talk to people who assume their SO=all persons of that gender. And of course, I’ve done exactly that in this thread, whoops.
Even so, it’s hard not to assume all differences are gender based, esp if you’ve selected an SO much like your parent, and your SO has selected friends much like themselves. You get into a weird loop that way.
Thanks for all the good answers. I must confess I was hoping for easier things like “always remember to tape the ballgame” and “scratch my back”.
wow, there’s so much good stuff here! Just a couple of additions:
-I need my alone time. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you or the kids, and it doesn’t mean “I need to be alone so I can work on this project for you”. It means I need to just have some quiet time to geek out on the computer or even just go for a walk alone in the woods to ground myself.
-I may have stupid hobbies, but they’re my hobbies. I enjoy them. Don’t resent me for spending some time on them.
-Don’t start a project and expect me to jump in to help you finish it if we haven’t discussed it previously.
-I really don’t need to hear the intricate details of your trials and tribulations at work. I leave that stuff at the office. You should too.
-I want you to go out with the girls every so often. Because you deserve it.
Blow jobs. Good blow jobs, and often. 
(Seriously!)
football
cartoons
star trek
So, nyctea…how YOU doin’?
I’ll let you ladies in on a little secret. Considering that no man ever asks for it, and would never realize it’s true effects unless he really sat down and thought about it, it’s a secret kept from most guys too.
If you’re in a long term relationship, and you want to keep it going. Modify your appearance every few months or so. And this doesn’t mean gain weight 
Dye your hair. Cut your hair. Straighten it. Curl it. Change the way you wear make up and the colors you use. Try new and different things like that. Seriously, if you always look the exact same, he’ll naturally desire variety. He’ll look at other girls more, and he’ll become bored. He won’t admit this, because he doesn’t realize it’s happening. It’s a subconcious man-thing. He’ll tell you that one particular way you wear your hair is his favorite. So, trying to be a good girl, you’ll wear it like that as often as you can. But don’t fall victim to that. What he really wants is variety. He just doesn’t know it.
Doing something very crazy, like really shortening your hair or something, has huge positive effects in a relationship. Even if he says “I dont like it that way”, or “I dont like that color”, don’t let that shit bother you. What you’re giving him is variety, and it will keep him with you. He won’t even realize what’s going on.
See, if you look slightly different every now and then, you’ll keep his attention on you. He’ll be staring at you, because you’re new. You’ve changed. Even if he’s thinking, “I don’t really like that color. I like it better when she had curly red hair three months ago”, the point is he’s thinking about you and is actually completely and undividedly focusing on you.
But if you look exactly the same everyday, and all the time, then his natural primitive desire for variety will kick in. He won’t be staring at you from across the table. He already knows exactly what you look like. Same old you. Nothing new. He’ll gradually start staring at other girls and thinking about what qualities he likes and doesn’t like about them. But then he’s not focusing on your qualities anymore…
Eventually he will either become extremely bored with your relationship, and neither of you will know why. Or if he’s not of good character, he’ll just cheat on you and go after some variety. (Arguably you’d be better off without that guy. But what about the guy that loves you and you two can’t figure out why things have become so complacent and “bleh”)
It’s such a simple thing you can do, ladies. Change make-up colors and styles, change hair color and style, and even add variety to the clothes you wear. But it has HUGE positive, psychological and subconcious effects on the relationship.
A very good point Bear_Nenno.
I echo the “I want sex if you want sex” sentiment but add: Please want sex.
My hint, to add to the above (which is actually, I feel, an unspoken common thread in many of the above hints): easy on the criticism.
Like most, perhaps all, men, I am not an infant. I make decisions. Shockingly, some of them are correct. Sure, I’m not perfect, and I appreciate a correction when I’ve done something wrong. However, if I get a “you’re wearing THAT?” every morning, it gets old fast.
I know that women just loooove to “fix” their man, but damn. Take a break from it now and then.
Amen from the other side on this one. Once, my parents were visiting me and driving me crazy. I’ve tried everything to make them not drive me crazy, the only one that seems to work is living 3000 miles away and not having them come visit me very often. I wanted to vent to the future Mr. Neville about the whole situation, but I didn’t want to hear more solutions that I’d already tried, or that wouldn’t work. So I told him I was just looking for sympathy, not solutions. Worked like a charm, and I got my sympathy.
Would it be so difficult to keep track of your own cycle and learn to recognize when you’re PMSing? I’ve learned to keep track of your cycle and learned to recognize when you’re PMSing for my own sake, but, trust me, when you’re PMSing, my telling you that you’re PMSing just makes things worse.