What’s a conversion event? Google is mute.
I didn’t know it was coming the first time, and thought it was epilepsy.
I don’t like most men, don’t trust them, and am very uncomfortable in large groups of them. Have some male friends, but the trust issue is still there to some extent.
Used to have night terrors but now (at age 51) they have mostly faded.
I spend some time of forums that are male dominated and the things they write about women, the hatred, the degradation, the viewing of women as property, all makes me very glad I have so few of them in my life.
In fact I will avoid shaking hands with pervy types. Smarmy bastards who want to hold onto your hand for too long. I’ll put my hands behind my back and nod.
33 years after a stranger attack in which I was choked until I passed out only to come to consciousness as the jerk tried to remove my clothing…I’m doing very well. The only things I’m still weird about are being alone and being grabbed from behind. If I’m alone I very seldom have music playing or any other source of sound - I want things quiet. I was in my dorm room with the music up loud when I was attacked; I never even heard him come in the door. He grabbed me around the neck from behind. Do NOT grab me from behind; my actions are totally reflex and will most likely cause you pain.
I went through a lot of changes and fears but mostly they’re in the past now.
Yeah, I threatened to kick the shit out of one of the docs I work with over something like that.
Him, it was just a practical joke.
Me, my ex was raped, if you ever play that joke on her, I will fuck you up.
Him, well I wouldn’t do that to someone who’d been raped.
Me, don’t be so sure you’re going to know before the fact.
To his credit, he did later tell me I’d given him something to think about. He caught me on a bad day, but damn I was pissed.
I came into this thread thinking that I have known two women well who have been raped. Then, as I typed the first sentence, another pair popped into my head without warning, and a fifth came up with very little effort. Hell, I just thought of a sixth. Now I am depressed.
Anyway, it varies. My best in life was held captive and raped by a family “friend” some years back. She seemed psychologically alright in the immediate aftermath but showed increasing evidence of PTSD starting about a month later – nightmares, irrational reactions to minor things, et cetera – that she eventually went to therapy over. She’s better now.
My son’s mother would freak out at one times after her rape. The first time I witnessed it was when we were passing by the ally where it happened, but other times there were no triggers I could predict. I’m not sure she ever got better; I know she never got therapy while we were together or before our son died.
Another friend of mine became (I am told) very reckless after being raped. (I qualify it because I did not know her until years afterwards but was told about it later.) She’d do reckless and dangerous things because part of her no longer believed the virtue of taking precautions or trying to be safe. She was aware of that, though, and tried to guard against it.
A girlfriend of mine in the late 90s had been routinely molested as a child. She was sensible in most ways but almost pathological about sex; she’d cry for a good hour after every orgasm, but seemed incapable of not sexualizing every relationship she was in. I don’t know if she ever got better; certainly she wasn’t willing to get therapy while we were together.
I think I’m done talking about this now.