I was just thinking about situations where adolescents are living in blended families, and there’s some kind of sexual attraction…say you find your stepbrother really hot. What happens? I mean, I guess you just deal with it…but say it’s mutual? I don’t know–do parents ever find themselves having to give their kids a Talk? Not necessarily because anything happens but just because there’s a weird vibe?
This isn’t really the same thing, but I watched some old special on the Brady Bunch a while ago and apparently there often felt like an element of sexual chemistry between the actors portraying Greg and Marsha, when there shouldn’t have been. So it sort of made me wonder about actual blended families.
When I used to listen to talk radio, one host said that in families where step dads start feeling attracted to their step daughters as they get older, the step dad will become detached and distant.
I’m guessing some step sibling might do that if they start having feelings for each other, but feel that it’s inappropriate.
If the families got together when the kids were teenagers or older, it’s not that bad- even natural, I can imagine. If they were raised together from little kids, then ew. I believe that’s considered taboo in this society, and rightly so, IMO.
Isn’t it awkward, though? Like, if your kids are both sixteen, can they date? I mean, break ups are bad enough but when you all live together…it just sounds so messy.
Not exactly what the OP is looking for, but when I was around 16 my older sister married a guy who had a 16-year-old daughter, we became friends and more or less were “dating.” I used to find it humorous telling people I was going out with my niece, but no one thought it was strange at all. Everyone knew we were just two teenagers.
That pretty much doesn’t happen, though. I recall reading a post in GQ a while ago about a study in which the researchers wanted to look at divorce rates for kids raised in the same kibbutz. It was nonexistent, because none of them got married to each other. Everybody who got married did so to someone with whom they were not raised.
Even families in which the kids were born of the same parents in the usual manner can be the locus of this problem, you know. It’s probably less common but it can still occur.
The world is full of people to whom you are attracted but with whom nothing is gonna happen. You’re going to have to get used to that little fact of life sooner or later, may as well start at home.
Like all family issues, the answer is going to vary with each family. Some may have “A Talk” with one or both of the kids involved, some (especially the ones with older kids who become siblings) may find it humorous, or at least not a big deal, and some ignore it entirely and don’t deal with it at all.
I know a couple where this happened. Her father married his mother when the respective children were teenagers, and they lived together under the same roof. They were not blood relations and, well, one thing led to another. They got married when she was – I kid you not – thirteen. They had their first child three years later. She used to joke about how her daughter was also her niece.
I think he was sixteen or seventeen. They were married for for decades, until he died of a brain tumor in IIRC his 40s. Had 3 children. I think eventually he got a high school equivalency diploma, don’t think she ever did. When he died he owned a plumbing contracting business and made more money than my husband and I together. The only printed material in the house was the TV guide. True story.
How old was he? How long have they been married? Are they still married? Happily?
Depending on the cultural situation, the emotional maturity & physical health of the teens, I don’t think this is freaky. The age factor is what I’d be most concerned with, and I think we’re going to have to have a societal turnaround in equipping teens for marriage.
Not among stepsiblings, but my boss’s mother married my boss’s husband’s father. Both parents were widowed and when their children met and moved in together, attraction between the parents blossomed. The younger couple got married, then his father married her mother.
Time travel machine is working nicely today – I answered the question before it was asked!
I’d certainly add, though, that this was an against-all-odds situation. They endured grinding poverty together for many years before he was successful. We used to go play cards or Monopoly at their place, and it was very, very spartan. For example, for many years they didn’t even have a phone. This was in the sixties.
Similar to what happened in my family. By the time my parents got married, my father’s father had died, and my mother’s mother had died. A few years later, my father’s mother married my mother’s father. So I only knew one set of grandparents . . . from both sides. And technically, my parents were step-siblings, but spouses first.
The vast majority of marriages throughout history have been by underaged (by todays definition) couples, and the majority of those have been happy. Because you had to be happy. You got what you got, and that’s what you were stuck with. People made their shit work. If you’re willing to truly put forth the effort, there are very few relationships that wont, eventually, work out.
