Fenris, you draw on a well of creativity so deep it amazes me. You are obviously a creative genius. I hope you use your powers for good, not evil. 
How true. But at least there was that recent revival of Guys and Dolls on Broadway.
My favorite Runyonism is “more than somewhat.” As in, “By the time they found Big Louie, he was more than somewhat deceased.” (Not an actual quote, but you get the idea.)
With One Magic Word- TVEBLEN!
On a rainy night, in a large American city, a newsgirl was selling papers. To protect her secret identity, we will call her ‘Sally’.
“Wuxtry! Wuxtry! Read all about it!” cried ‘Sally’ as she tried to sell her last papers. A few more pennies were all it would take for her to buy a crust of bread. ‘Sally’ was, of course, a poor-but-honest newsgirl!
Suddenly a strange figure appeared from a boarded-up subway station. “Follow me!” he said.
“Are you out of your mind? I’m not gonna follow a creep in a trenchcoat into a deserted subway. Now get lost before I call the cops!” “Sally” was poor-but-honest, true, but she was also no fool.
The strange figure gestured magically and Sally found her legs moving without her control. She was marched into the subway station, and a futuristic railroad car arrived. She marched in and, as the doors closed, regained control of her legs.
“Great. It’s not just a perv. It’s a rich perv, if he can afford his own subway car.” ‘Sally’ wasn’t comforted by this thought.
The train stopped and the doors opened into a dark tunnel lit by flickering torches. Each torch was in front of a squat, tiki-like statue. An art-deco font above the statues said “The Seven Deadly Trolls of Mankind”. The first was Tyler, who squatted, hand desperately trying to protect his crotch…She traveled down the corridor looking at the other statues.
At the end of a tunnel was a room. On a throne, beneath a huge block of marble which was suspended by a thread, sat an old man.
“The Wizard TVeblen am I! Long these years have I sought someone like you.”
“Bad, your syntax is.” said ‘Sally’ a trifle crankily “Get to the point old man.”
“Though perhaps a trifle less acerbic.” the Wizard muttered.
“You try being a poor-but-honest newsgirl in a major metropolitan city who gets kidnapped by a perv in a trenchcoat and see how sunny your disposition is.” She responded.
“True. Nevertheless, it’s time to pass on my Moderator powers and I’ve chosen you. Here’s the Gods who’s powers I’ve borrowed to give to you. We’ll start with Tyr for his warlike nature”
“Wait a sec. Tyr got his hand bitten off by Fenris. From what I understand, once I become a Mod, he’s gonna be writing my bio. That’s bad enough. Nope. Try again.”
The wizard blinked. “Um…hmmm…what if I forgo the hand-biting thing?”
“Nope. No deal.”
“How 'bout Thalia: Muse of Comedy and idyllic poetry”
“She’s not a Goddess, she’s a muse…but, ok. What else do you have to offer?”
“Venus: For her beauty”
“What? You saying I’m not beautiful? That what you’re saying? Do my looks amuse you?”
“Perhaps Victoria? Roman name for Nike, Goddess of Victory?”
“Damned straight it would. ‘Beauty’” she snorted
The old wizard hesitated “I was going to suggest Echo for her devotion…?”
“Great. I get to have the ability to be an obsessive ninny who dies over some pretty-boy twerp. You just don’t get it old man. How 'bout Erzulie: Voodoo Love Goddess. Controls elemental forces. Lives in fabulous wealth provided by her multiple husbands?”
The old wizard blushed “I don’t know. It sounds kind of racey…”
‘Sally’ replied “She had a great song in the musical ONCE ON THIS ISLAND.”
He nodded. “Well, if she was in a musical I’m sure she’s fine. The next is easy: Brigit, for poetry, fire, fertility and, cattle. The last one will be good for dealing with trolls. So will fire. Poetry will just be useful overall.”
“We’re going a little overboard on the poetry stuff. We might want to rethink that whole “T” thing. But Brigit’s fine. Next?”
“Loki for his tricky and mischievous nature.”
‘Sally’ made a so-so gesture with her hand. “It’s ok, but is it me? What do you say about Lilith.”
“Absolutely not. She’s simply not suitable. Besides, I had an unhappy affair with her and we’re not speaking. I’ve got it! Lachesis. One of the fates: Spins the destinies of humankind”
“I like it! Next?”
"I’m not sure. We ran out of “E"s, although, given this conversation, Eris seems extraordinarily appropriate.”
“Now-now. Let’s not pout. Hmmm…Erda? Germanic Earth Goddess? Gets the whole Norse pantheon back in?”
“Fine. And finally Nemesis, Goddess of Vengeance. Any problems with that?”
“No. But let’s look at that ‘T’ one again. A muse is pretty lame after all. What about Themis? She’s a Titan, controls Laws, Justice and Hospitality. Pretty appropriate for a mod? Am I right?”
The wizard nodded. So we’ve got:
Themis
Victoria
Erzulie
Brigit
Lachesis
Erda
Nemesis
Right?"
“Yup.”
“Then speak my name, lass”
‘Sally’ yelled “TVeblen!” A bolt of lighting struck her, changing her into TVeblen, The World’s Mightiest Mod.
During the lighting strike, the block of marble fell on the old wizard. His ghost said “Get to Mod headquarters. Tuba and Lynn are expecting you. And” he grinned “if you’re this tough with me, you’ll be great in the war against ignorance.” He faded away.
Fenris, who notes that if TVeblen says the wizard’s name again, she’ll revert to her mortal form. That’s why TVeblen doesn’t speak of herself in the third person.
A thing of wonder and beauty, Fenris. I’m quite genuinely honored. ::blushes::
THANKS!
That was simply amazing. (Not to mention hilarious.)
Wanders out happily,
Veb
Shazam! Fenris, you’ve done it again.
[sub](Solomon, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles, Mercury)[/sub]
Pretty good, but can you name Mary Marvel’s deities, and what they do…without looking them up???
Fenris
He didn’t write the vast majority of it, he just changed the names, as VV pointed out in the now-locked thread.
Ah, yes. The ever so tactful voguevixen. Thanks for bringing back that memory. Ugh.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Fenris *
**
Ah, ya got me there, wolfie. I must admit that the deities you selected for Veb are outstanding for their obscurity, eclecticness, and appropriateness, and far outdo Billy Batson’s. Bravo!
(I for one could never figure out what Solomon was doing in there anyway.)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Colibri *
**
There was actually a story where the Solomon thing was explained, but it’s lost in the depths of my memory. And if you think Billy’s were bad, Mary’s were far lamer (and I admit I had to look it up too. I couldn’t remember the second A or M). Plus they cheated. Zephyrus was a guy and Hippolyta and Ariadne weren’t Goddesses!:
Selne Grace
Hippolyta Strength
Ariadne Skill
Zephyrus Speed
Aurora Beauty
Minerva Wisdom
Beauty…that’ll be an asset when fighting Frog-Men from Venus. :rolleyes:
Fenris
Yeah, well the Captain’s weren’t all that consistent either. Zeus was Greek, Mercury (Hermes) was Roman, and the rest weren’t even gods (unless you count Hercules and maybe Achilles as demigods). Atlas was a Titan. Very odd company for a Jewish king to be keeping.
Fenris, I am shocked - shocked! - by your admission of not knowing Mary Marvel’s patrons by heart! Based on your previous performance, I half expected you to reel off Black Adam’s as well. (Don’t, I beg you!)
He wrote it. HE was plagiarized. Prove he didn’t. He’s dead and can’t defend himself and you have the utter GALL to smear his name and reputation like this? Again? Remind me to ignore you from now on.
I have a theory:
Fenris is in fact…Terry Pratchett!
You have to do the Administrators before you do Cecil. I cant see Cecils being far off this:
The earth was formless and empty of knowledge, darkness covered the teeming millions, and the Spirit of Cecil was hovering over them. And Cecil said:
‘Let there be Light’ And there was…
I could go on…
but I dont want to steal the spotlight from Fenris.
Shayna, please don’t do this.
I know you loved and honored Wally, we all cared for him very much. But you must face the facts here.
I have to tell you he was not the original author of the “cybersex” story. The copyright owners had posted it on their site for over a month or more before it got to the SDMB.
The story had also been passed around cyberspace, as good material so often is and mostly without attribution.
Now I’m not saying Wally deliberately set out to plagarize. He would not have been the first person to unconsciously pick up a good story; heck, there’s not a writer around that hasn’t penned something fabulous only to discover they got ripped off by Mark Twain or O. Henry or Stephen King. (To name just three.)
It’s not uncommon in art, there have been far too many times in my own life I’ve played a solo or gotten up and sung something that I thought was very creative and undoubtedly cool . . . it was so cool somebody else did it before I did, them thieving bastards. Where did it come from? Probably the last CD I played back at home, or something I heard on the radio or behind an ad for cars or beer or whatever and I just unconsciously absorbed it and used it. It’s one of the hazards of the performing life.
Heck, Wally’s in good company. Ask George Harrison. Okay, he’s in not so good company as well; you can ask Michael Bolton. (And, just this week, the Supremes. The ones in the long black robes.)
This is no disrespect to Wally. I’m sure if he was here he would have cleared this up and probably laughed harder than any of us . . . the resulting story would have been even funnier than “cybersex.”
your humble TubaDiva
Administrator
Just edited this to show I mistyped; I said the material had been online for a year when I SHOULD have said “at least a month.” My apologies. TD
[Edited by TubaDiva on 01-25-2001 at 05:19 PM]
The way I see it is this: it’s completely irrelevant whether he wrote it or not. He probably didn’t. It should be seen as hearing that hilarious joke from your coworker - he probably heard it somewhere else, but it’s funny nonetheless.
The bottom line is this: if the greatness of Wally’s legacy isn’t enough to make a person refrain from nitpicking at the great times we had when he was still among us, and the joy he brought to our hearts, you oughta be ashamed of yourself. It’s very offensive. That’s why Shayna got mad then, and now. I understand that, knowing that she and Wally were good friends.
So, in the name of all that’s decent, kindly refrain from nitpicking at that which doesn’t need to be analysed anymore. I’m sure there’s an MPSIMS thread dying for your spelling corrections, iamphuna.
I agree with Coldfire.
I tried to say something similar in a certain Pit thread, but I’m afraid the point was lost in the general tone of the thread (and for that matter, my post). Mea culpa.
Anyway, from what I’ve seen and read, Wally was known more for his kindness and his ability to relate to other people here, than any single thread or post he wrote.
Does anyone truly believe that Wally’s popularity really has anything to do with that one thread? That the one thread had anything to do with why people hold him in such high esteem?
Personally, I doubt it. I wasn’t around very long before Wally passed, but I’ve read A LOT of old threads, and it sure seems to this observer that Wally was already one of the more popular posters before that thread was ever posted. Heck,* that thread’s popularity probably had more to do with it being Wally that started it, as opposed to that thread somehow making Wally popular*.
I don’t think ANY of the really popular and/or high profile posters here is identified with one single solitary thread or post. In my mind, Wally sure as hell wasn’t. Have people forgotten the gerbil thread, that green Harley he had, the putz smiley? To say nothing of the posts he made when he had his heart surgery (I wasn’t even around for those).
No one’s popularity is gained or lost by one post, one thread. Particularly not someone who was honored by what seemed like fifty threads when he passed, including the one that announced his passing having something like 500 replies (I tried to look up the exact number but couldn’t find it). Particularly not someone with over 3000 posts.
Meaning no disrespect, I’ll admit that I don’t think Wally was the original author of that one OP. However, I sure as hell KNOW it doesn’t make a damned bit of difference. One’s qualities and one’s friends make a person great, not one single witty story.
Finally, I’ll admit that I’ve been remiss in complimenting Fenris on his excellent work. This is 100% due to the fact that I’m just jealous of him! :eek:
Belated congratulations, Fenris! For the first time, I wish I was a mod, so I could be the subject of one of your great stories!
Just FTR, we’ve posted Fenris’ stories as Teemings Extras : Teemings Extras.
So, I guess we’re never going to find out how the rest of the mods became mods? <sigh>
Captain Amazing, the same old way, they get an application, they complete it, then the superiors check out the person & see if they meet some qualifications…there are some neato people who aren’t mods simply cause they didn’t meet one qualification.