You are. Plenty of bisexual men are around, but it seems like a large portion are in younger demographics in my geographic area. We/They (not sure where I fit, don’t really care) just generally identify appropriately as relationships shift for the sake of safety. There’s not nearly the number of “out” bisexual men as gay men.
Why? I mean, if he’s dating you yet also open about liking other guys I seriously doubt you’re being used for cover here. He must find you attractive as well, else why bother? If you’re out and open about being bisexual, its not like a closet relationship.
This part I can understand at least. Its a violation of two levels of trust instead of just one.
Another vote for cheating is cheating no matter what sex the other person is .
I would love to have that gay marriage comment explained, too. Any chance of that?
Anyway, as far as I know, my husband is not bisexual. That he is faithful is the only thing of which I am certain. As long as he remains faithful, I wouldn’t care if he’s bisexual.
I don’t know exactly. I guess I’m just not open to that kind of thing. For one, I am extremely jealous natured. I have problems when I think of my bf’s relationships before me. I envision the sex, and I drive myself nutty with the imagery. If he’d been with men and women I think I’d probably go right off the deep end.
A lot of women are more secure than I. For them it might not be a problem.
I ask this out of curiosity, but why would your guy dating another guy in the past be more of a problem than him dating a girl? I understand it may be totally irrational and Lord knows I’ve got plenty of irrational quirks myself, but if you can answer that I’d really love to get a handle on the mindset…
Well, for one, that’s a whole other set of sexual activity. I know what a man and a woman do, but I’m not that familiar with the inner workings of gay sex. I don’t like the thought of my man doing anything with another person. I just don’t think my imagination could handle it if he was doing men and women.
And I pretty much just like the basics in bed. I’d be afraid the guy would want me to do things I’m not comfortable with and if I didn’t do it I’d assume he’d go find someone who would.
It’s not to be insulting, but it would just freak me out a bit.
Not only are you wrong, but you are wrong beyond wrong. You are on the level of KKK attititudes regarding racial minorities wrong. I am a bisexual man (yes, my priest knows), who is married, and quite likes my wife, thank you very much. There’s this whole “forsaking all others” part of our marriage vows, after all.
Are you QUITE certain you have never done so in your life? Do tell just how it is that you have found an infallable detector of this trait when nobody else has. Please enlighten us.
Do you ever ask whomever it is you are dating “Are you 100% totally and completely heterosexual?” If not, and if that man never made any such statements to that effect at all, then there’s no more lying in the samesex situation as in the differsex situation.
And your evidence that a perfectly heterosexual man wouldn’t have some kinky ideas is? I’ve come across plenty of most likely completley straight guys who whine about how they want their wives to do things that the wife simply does not want to do. Do you think that prostitutes only service men who can’t get dates? You’d be surprised, you would.
Dogface–I don’t think you need to equate my ignorance about bisexual men with the KKK. I don’t harbor any ill will to people because of their sexual orientation. Frankly, it’s none of my business who people want to sleep with.
I don’t have to defend my preferences either. If I would be uncomfortable sleeping with a gay man, why is that such a big deal to you? Of course I don’t know that every man I’ve dated is 100% hetero. There’s no way of knowing that. I try to date men who are honest, though.
I think all of us, male or female, have had thoughts of the same sex. It doesn’t make us bisexual.
If you’re bisexual and your wife is fine with it, then that’s great. Just because I don’t want to do it doesn’t mean I think it’s wrong or that others shouldn’t.
You flat-out stated that any man who admits to attraction to other men will lose all interest in woman. That is a level of ignorance regarding bisexuals that is equal to the ignorance levels espoused by the KKK, just a different subject matter.
Likewise, you now say you are uncomfortable “sleeping with” a gay man. So does that mean that you would have no problem “sleeping with” a bisexual man, or does it mean you are taking the ignorant and prejudicial line that bisexual == homosexual?
I have not passed judgement upon your prejudices, only revealed your gross ignorance on this topic.
“On the other hand, are there really that many bisexual men? It seems like once a man realizes he likes other men that he probably ceases to be into women. I could be wrong.”
I pretty much said I didn’t know, but that’s been my impression of it. I’ll admit, I don’t know very many bisexual people. I know some gay men and I know some straight men. Some of them might be bi, but I don’t think it’s my business to ask. I wouldn’t say that I’m “grossly ignorant.” I just don’t know every shade of gray in the matter of homosexuality.
I only want to sleep with straight men. I have no interest in men who sleep with other men. I don’t see why that should bother anyone.
Heh…I’d say, “Hi 'Becca!” cuz I think that’s the only woman Mrs. Montoya would go for. I’d later request clarification and ask where the kids were. And then check to see if 'Becca was still 100% lesbian or maybe a little bi…or curious.
(I don’t want to post this, but I have to)
If my wife discovered me in this situation I’d expect her to take it like a man.
(I am so sorry…)
I’m really hoping that you mean because he was cheating on you, period, and not because he was cheating on you with a man. Women carry STDs just as well as any man, unfortunately.
Well, I’m a hetero male and married to a hetero woman. (At least I’m pretty sure about her…) And I have to agree with the consensus that cheating is cheating, regardless of the sex of the third party.
But then, I gotta love Elusis’ line… “If I walked in on her ‘cheating’ with another girl, I’d probably think it was my birthday.”
Now, all that said, I lived with a girl in college for a few weeks who was bi, and I never had a problem with it. Her girlfriend, however, was jealous of me to the point of being one mean-ass bitch 75% of the time, and all apologetic the other 25%. This was our third roommate, as well. Yes, it was Three’s Company the way it should have been written.
I moved out after only two months because I couldn’t stand the attitude and dramatics any longer.
Actually, the last straw was coming home and finding my girlfriend in bed with her coke dealer… I could have forgiven that, too, but the guy was number one on my list of walking-talking-sphincters.
And this differs from a guy who goes out to hookers or hooks up with a chippie just how? Cheating is cheating. Both flavors are reprehensible.
Of course cheating is cheating.
Let me clarify:
If my husband turned out to be bi and I caught him at home with another man, chances are that is not the first time he’s slept with this guy. Cheaters get more and more “daring” as affairs progress. Few people simply start out sleeping with their piece on the side at home; they work up to it.
If my husband was bi, there is absolutely no way he will ever change. Not gonna happen, no way, no how. I would also figure chances are at some point he would go all-out gay, because I have never seen a married bisexual STAY bi. They always ended up leaving their spouse for their other lover. I realize this is surely not the case with all bisexual married people. However, I am not willing to stick around and put my health and sanity at risk to find out.
If he were simply cheating with another woman, there is at least an outside, however remote, chance that we could work things out. I’m not saying that it would happen, but some unfaithful spouses HAVE changed, ended their affairs and repaired their marriages.
I couldn’t forgive him bringing another woman into my bed. To me, that is the lowest thing you could possibly do while cheating. However, if he had, say, a one night stand and was truly repentant (in which case he shouldn’t be stupid enough to tell me to begin with), I could maybe see staying together and try to work it out because we have a kid. Forgiving him would at least be a possibility, even though I’m not saying I would do it.
Overlooking/forgiving my husband having a one-night stand with a man? No. If he sleeps with another man, I’ve got a much bigger problem than just his infidelity on my hands.
Congratulations. You are, without a doubt, the most monumentally ignorant person I have ever come across. You should erect a statue to your ignorance to make such claims about bisexuals.