How do you deal with a Bi-sexual spouse?

[Abbie_Carmichael]

Thanks Indygrrl

[Winterwren]

@CrazyCatLady

How do you deal with a bisexual spouse? The same way you deal with a non-bisexual one. When you walk in on them having sex with someone else (assuming the two of you haven’t pre-agreed to the whole poly thing), you figure out whether it’s possible to fix things between you, whether you even want to try to fix things, or if you’re better off just kicking their cheating asses to the curb. Who your spouse is fucking around on you with is a minor matter compared to the fact that your spouse is fucking around on you.

Working my way through the comments on this thread, I have to say that you’ve expressed my feelings eloquently and succinctly!

[nashiitashii]

As a bisexual female in a monogamous relationship, I have HUGE qualms with the idea of introducing a third person in my relationship, whether it be for sexual purposes or as an additional significant other. I am not into a polyamorous relationship, and I am very much against having an open relationship with anyone. Cheating is cheating, no matter how it’s done. Bisexuality is no excuse for promiscuous behaviour, and I’m quite unhappy that people just assume that I’ll sleep with anyone or cheat on my boyfriend because I’m bisexual.

Inviting a third person into a relationship for a threesome is a tricky topic, but it’s a situation that’s complicated in its own right, and doesn’t often end well. I am satisfied with my significant other’s abilities and have no need for a third person in the bedroom.

[AngelicGemma]

@Indygrrl

No, she said, “If my husband was bi, there is absolutely no way he will ever change. Not gonna happen, no way, no how. I would also figure chances are at some point he would go all-out gay, because **I have never seen ** a married bisexual STAY bi. They always ended up leaving their spouse for their other lover. I realize this is surely not the case with all bisexual married people. However, I am not willing to stick around and put my health and sanity at risk to find out.”.

Even with the whole quote, it still seems to imply that the majority of bi-sexuals cheat.

@Indygrrl

Not all of us completely understand bisexuality. It doesn’t make us Hitler.

Lol. I agree.

[Abbie_Carmichael]

Even with the whole quote, it still seems to imply that the majority of bi-sexuals cheat.

I didn’t (#%#(% say that the majority of bisexuals cheat.

Would you stop LOOKING for a reason to get offended?

[Tamerlane]

@Abbie Carmichael

Even with the whole quote, it still seems to imply that the majority of bi-sexuals cheat.

I didn’t (#%#(% say that the majority of bisexuals cheat.

No, you didn’t. However ( and please don’t think I’m piling on, I’m just trying to clarify ), it is easy to see why it might be interpreted that way.

The salient point is your implication that a bisexual mate would be different than a heterosexual mate. But there is no particular reason to suppose that would be the case. Do you think there is a “the grass is always greener” syndrome at work? Because that also enters into it for heterosexuals as well. A bisexual is simply someone who finds members of boths sexes sexually attractive, not necessarily someone who must have sex with both sexes to be happy.

• Tamerlane

[AngelicGemma]

@Abbie Carmichael

Even with the whole quote, it still seems to imply that the majority of bi-sexuals cheat.

I didn’t (#%#(% say that the majority of bisexuals cheat.

Would you stop LOOKING for a reason to get offended?

lol. All I’m saying is that’s the impression I got from your quote. Now if you don’t mean it, which you don’t, then fair enough.

<----- Happy smile to indicate no hard feelings.

[susan]

I am lesbian. My wife is bi. Our relationship is monogamous because that is what we agreed to. She has never cheated, in this marriage or her previous marriage to a man, which ended for reasons having nothing to do with orientation. Throughout both these marriages, she has been bi. I have no more concern about her cheating on me than I would about a lesbian partner cheating on me, or a straight male partner (if I were so inclined). I don’t really understand the point of the OP.

[Evil_One]

My wife is bi. We play with others. We have agreed not to play without the other present. If she were to do this, I would consider it an emotional betrayal…and therefore cheating.

[Esprix]

@Starguard

Question:… what would you do if you came in and found your spouse having sex with someone who was the same sex as themselves?

Shocked! Shocked I say!

Esprix

[jellytoes]

@pepperlandgirl

I’d be hurt, mainly, because he didn’t tell me. I’d tell him…shoot, I told him there is a certain woman in my life that I would totally have sex with if at all possible. I’d expect the same kind of trust and honesty from him.

And then I’d be turned on, because gay sex (of either sex) turns me on. And then I’d be angry because I wasn’t invited to join. And then I’d be turned on again. Really, whether they walk out of the situation alive with depend wholly on whether I’m invited to join.

And then we’d have to have a serious talk because of the aforementioned trust/honesty thing.

I’m right with you there. I’m a bisexual woman and in a committed relationship with a man (who choses not to worry about his sexuality). We have it all worked out. But cheating is cheating. If he did something outside of our ‘agreements’ I’d be right pissed, and jealous. I’d expect the same reaction from him.

[Kinthalis]

I agree. Cheating is cheating. I would react in exactly the same if my girlfriend was cheating on me with a woman or a man.

Now, if you have the kind of relationship where this kind of behaviour is ok, then walking home to find your lover straddling another person in the throws of passion is not going to bother you one bit, because, byu the terms of your relationship, it’s not cheating.
That’s definately not me though