You’re insane.
I will have to try the crown down method over the next couple of days. I have been converted to the stem down method of banana eating, and I can see the theory behind the crown holding things together better.
First I remove tomato, pickles and lettuce, and eat them. I’m eating a cheeseburger, not a salad. Then I hold the burger right-side-up and eat all around the edge. Then the middle.
The correct American way to eat a cheeseburger is with bacon.
I’m sorry the banana what?
I hate bacon, so that’s right out.
Antigen’s way is the only sensible method.
Instead of holding the banana stem up and peeling it by snapping the stem backwards, you hold it stem down. You pinch the other end, which separates the peel into nice fairly evenly divided strips, and also removes the little woody bit you get at that end. The stem provides a nice handle. It is much easier. I’m told that this is how monkeys generally eat bananas, and they would know.
I found it bizarre at first, but having tried it I’m convinced.
I’m not quite convinced that I wish to emulate monkeys in my eating habits. 
Although I’m sure my three small sons would be in favor of it.
Ah, but do you directly take bites, or do what I do? I use my fingers to break off chunks of banana and pop them in my mouth, with no unsightly bite marks on the uneaten portion. Bonus points when the lengthwise thirds break off at different lengths.
Madness, you say? I possess a clarity on gustatory matters that you could only dream of!
Maniacal Laugh
All of which makes me quite interested in your position on cheeseburger* orientation.
- As a hoomin, I am often unable to correctly spell cheezburger.
I propose we build a wall.
All the Yooks on one side with their sesame-side-up and the Zooks on the other with sesame-side down. I know that I have my Tough-Tufted Prickly Snick-Berry Switch ready to defend my side of the wall from any dissenting souls on the wrong side of the wall.
FWIW, if I have a burger from a restaurant, I like to eat it from the top down. I’ll start with the top bun, eat then. Then, work my way to any solid toppings like lettuce or tomatoes and eat those. The meat portion will be eaten like a piece of salsbury steak and finally the bottom bun will finish off my meal. I only do this with take out orders though. I wouldn’t actually eat like that where other people could watch. For burgers made at home, I eat them sans bun with lots of pepper and brown deli mustard.
I Start from the middle.
When I make veggie burgers, I eat the bottom of the bun with all the fixings on it. Then I eat the top part of the bun with all the little sesame seeds on it separately so I can savor the sesame seed goodness.
How do I eat my cheeseburgers? With relish!
I am just going to point out to my husband that I am not the only one who flips the burger upside down to eat. Humph. He said I was weird.
He says that a lot.
Would you believe that if your burger is constructed from two gluten-free waffles there isn’t a top or bottom to worry about?
Well now that is absurd, you don’t even know what you are talking about! Don’t like bacon… harrumph
cite?
I eat mine top up, ketchup, cheese, and bacon only thank you. I may accept others eating them with the garden, but never bottom up!
I’ve heard of people eating cheeseburgers upside down, but I don’t believe I’ve ever actually seen it. Everybody I know eats burgers with the top bun on top. I can’t imagine why anyone would do it any other way (although I see explanations in this thread.)
Anyhow, topside up here, and onions, pickles, ketchup, mustard–that’s it. I generally avoid lettuce, tomato, and any mayo-based condiments on mine, although I make an exception for In N Out.
With a knife and fork. I make/order mine without the bun.
(When I did eat buns, though, I ate them the normal way. You upside down people are crazy.)
They would have to eat them upside down in Australia, wouldn’t they?