I’ll try to address the previous points - apologies for not quoting, but I get lost easily :rolleyes:
hlanelee: Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m happy for you that you have found support in faith. I can’t even begin to comprehend what it was like going through what you did - sometimes I feel that I’m just being stupid, as I’m not really suffering any problems, but yet I feel lost.
Kalhoun: I’ve been trying to keep off the computer more and more (except for work, where I’m stuck with it all day), and it does help. I still use it for ‘research’ quite a bit, but I’m not spending as long on it as I used to, so that helps. I’ve also got myself a guitar (I had one years ago), and I’m learnign that again, so some tactile time that is different. It’s too early to tell if it’s helping yet, but I know what you mean.
I thought of taking up painting, but I don’t think I’d actually know what to paint, as I don’t get inspiration enough. I’m thinking of writing poetry (I used to write a lot in my younger days) and starting by just writing literally what happened in the day - no creativity, but pure thoughts. Who knows.
Misnomer: Don’t worry about offending me - I’m looking for honest open thoughts to help me figure where I am.
I have spoken openly to my wife about selling the house, and she accepts why it would be necessary. The biggest hurdle is actually finding somewhere else we’d both be happy, but we are looking - I just find myself scared I guess, at the change, and the added initial stress it will place on both of us. I also wonder if it really is necessary, or other changes will make my life so I don’t hate my job so much.
I am considering some voluntary work, and I have plenty of contacts for that. I’m just tyring to get over my ‘fear’ - not sure that’s the right word, but - of being with other people so much. It’s not that I’m scared, I just don’t feel like it most of the time.
tremorviolet: It sounds like you’re certainly going through some similar things that I am, and talking to a few friends at work, they are too - maybe it’s not so uncommon as it feels sometimes.
I certainly don’t feel any additional needs so far as the life-coaches suggest (One of my friends has lent me some books, and they all point to these goals), but I can relate to just being important in someone’s life… it just doesn’t seem enough to keep me happy. I mean, I would never consider killing myself, or anything like that, as I always intend to be by my wife’s side, but I need something else to help drive me. Maybe a part of the problem is that she’s very easy going, and so I end up making a lot of the decisions. I need something to help me decide - or I’m scared of making the wrong decisions - I’m not sure.
I am planning to go and chat with a friend from work tonight, and my wife and I are going to visit some other friends in a couple of weeks - people who have been through similar things. I’ve also started reading about other ‘faiths’ and am finding myself quite interestd in the history of these things.
I’m also not convinced that faith is all that I’m looking for. I think it is more complicated than that, butI’m really finding all of the thoughts that everyone is giving, really beneficial, so thank you all.