for anyone who still wants to work on their social skills there is this site
it has interesting points to make and the writer assumes people do not all have the same goals when it comes to socializing.
Ahhh, your message makes me so happy and sad at the same time. Social (ballroom) dance got me out of a rut almost ten years ago. I got fit, happy, confident, all that jazz. I even taught dance for a while. Best days of my life. But a), I got sick (weird autoimmune arthritis/psoriasis…thing.) and b) I moved somewhere where there are NO venues to dance. Now I am super depressed. Loved dance. Loved it. I’d even do it given my disabilities. But there’s nowhere to go within reason. I could still probably teach beginner’s classes, if I found a savvy partner, but where would they dance outside of dance school? 
What’s the point, then?
Now I have two teens and two kids under 3, and I am currently mentally slow and such, and know nobody in the area. I sit alone with the babies all day. I don’t drive. I am SO desperately lonely. I cope by reading SDMB and other sites, and trying to have adult conversations with my overworked husband. Urgh.
I’m intrigued, but I have no coordination–like at all. Or rhythm for that matter. I think I might be beyond help
I taught quite a few people that said the same, and helped them to get a good sense of music, rhythm, and dance, that enriched their lives. I borrowed a page or two from psychoanalysis and hypnosis, along with the straightforward physical training. That was the most fun for me–helping people who were stuck in a desk-job physicality learn to emote physically in a free yet constrained, socially acceptable manner. Taking advantage of a bit of positive transference had the best results–I regret nothing. In other words, if you can find a friendly instructor, go for it! It’s the most fun you will ever have with your clothes on. 
I’ve had good (Miami) and bad (Philly) experiences with that. One thing I liked about the volunteering stuff I did in Miami was that there were many things we could try out without making it a long-term commitment (unlike, say, teaching Sunday school). In Philly OTOH all my questions/offers to organizations which often had specifically been asking for volunteers with my skills got “send us a cheque” in response.
Hey, if my brother was able to waltz at his wedding without stepping on the bride, you should be able to. He actually counted steps and was very proud to perform the no-stepping-on-toes exercise without shuffling his feet.
SiL thought she had good coordination and rythm, having been an aerobics teacher for many years. Turns out that she had learned a particular set of movements and a very specific rythm: breaking out of 12345678 and into 123123123 was much more difficult than she’d thought.
For social dancing I’ve got the advantage of being the woman (so long as he can lead, I can follow), but I’ve done traditional dances where I actually needed to learn the steps and so long as I got to “be the guy” (dance left-footed) I was all right. A lot of my coordination problems stem from cross-dominance.
My thoughts are that everyone starts somewhere and you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying. Really! In a dance class there are a wide range of abilities and personalities. You will find someone you click with. I’m not kidding you…I danced for about two months and had some really fun but sloppy dances with a professional ballroom instructor. All that mattered was the fun, not the technique…now we practice together! And we are 13 years separate in skill level. It’s really fascinating to see how certain people just click together on the dance floor despite their skill levels.
My philosophy with dance has been this:
- Get better or at least work at it
- Meet new people
- Have fun.
It’s been such a winning combination. I really hope you try it.
And if that’s not enough inspiration: Check out John Lindo! Phoenix 2008 Champions! John Lindo and Stephanie Batista - YouTube
I know nothing about what’s needed in a dance venue, but are there any community centers around? Senior centers? School gyms? Library meeting rooms? Church meeting spaces? It seems like anyplace with a large meeting room could be rented for use as a dance floor.
…Effort. :o
No, I’d thought of that. If I got enough people wanting to dance together, I could arrange a venue. But attracting students when there isn’t an obvious venue would be difficult. I had trouble retaining people in my last town due to that in part. That left choreography for wedding couples. Tried to get some schools interested in me touching dance for part of gym requirement or extracurricular, but got either blank stares or red tape discussions. I’d love to teach kids before prom, for example… Still need a partner, too.
Moreso than the other CM pilots in the later Apollo missions?
Another loner here. I have hobbies and responsibilities and just don’t get bored or lonely too easily. If I had more money and time (mostly money) I’d have a lot more hobbies. I am single and live alone and wouldn’t mind having someone around, but not if I have to entertain them.
Second Life. I’ve made a few friends there and we talk more than I talk to my friends offline. My daughter’s been into it for years and has skype friends all over the world she talks to just like if they were neighbors in real life.
I agree with the other folks who suggest getting a cat or a dog. They can make great pets. I prefer living alone, but I do like to have friends over every so often. I think there is nothing worse than living (or being married) to someone where one feels obligated to stay, because of kids, or other reasons. I’ve known quite a few couples, where one of the people in the marriage has wanted a divorce for ten or more years, but has yet to tell their spouse that they want to “pull the plug”, but, on the other hand, marriage can be great if one meets the right person. Possibly there are singles dances where you live, as most places have them, mostly at local hotels., that you could attend.
I wasn’t sure which Command Module pilot actually has the record now, but I figured MIchael Collins held it first, 
In a strange coincidence, there’s a thread in GQ discussing that now. I had no idea it existed when I proposed Collins as the record holder.
Depending on what you’re interested in, a book club might be good. Some intellectual stimulation with a little social interaction. If you like antiques—or just junk, like I do, the weekends are the time for estate sales and yard sales. Attend enough of them and you’ll start running into the same people and maybe strike up a real conversation. And right now is a good time for Farmers Markets early in the morning. If you ask some questions (How would you prepare this?) people nearby usually love to share their tips. I think the key is to frequent a place often enough to become a “familiar stranger” and then people start warming up to you.
I too am a loner by nature. I would like to know people well enough that I could pop by unannounced and “hang out”, but can’t seem to work up the gumption to know people well enough to create that circle of friends. Making friends takes time. And people seem very busy.
Probably haven’t had that since high school.
Right after my husband left me in 2007 I experimented with group activities. Going to church seemed like a safe way to meet people. . . it wasn’t. Never really met anyone that way. Went to a couple church functions, hoping that a gathering would be easier than a service, it wasn’t. The couples clung together, I was one of the few unattached people - and yuk, I felt more lonely than ever.
Started hiking and jogging again. Started to run into people on the trail. That was a start. Starting taking yoga classes. Really enjoyed them. I think if you can find something you like to do, like that - and meet people that way it’s a little easier. But still -
it’s been 7 years now, of single-dom, and I still haven’t gotten to a point of intimacy with any of my new “friends” where I feel like I could stop by unannounced just to hang out. There has to be an invitation and an event.
I find the modern world mildly alienating.
Jackie, I just wanted to thank you for this link. I sent it to someone else that I’ve been discussing this kind of stuff with and there’s a lot of good reading material there.