My SO has been talking lately about moving in together, but I don’t know if that will really work because our “go to sleep” rituals differ quite a bit from each other. Poll is for the purpose of seeing what people usually do, but of course, elaborate in a reply. If your style differs from your SO’s and you live together or spend more than half of the week sleeping with each other, how do you work around the differences?
I go to bed, read a bit, then turn the lights out. My wife likes to watch TV, so she goes to the family room while I read, because I can’t read while the TV’s on, and can’t sleep while it’s on, except for Sunday afternoons, and then I nap on the couch. She usually comes to bed after I’m asleep. By the way, she snores loudly, so I wear foam ear plugs. Best sleep investment I ever made.
She and I lived together 5 years before we got married, and have now been married 22 years. I say don’t worry if your rituals differ, it’s possible for people to adjust to that sort of thing. In fact, long-term relationships are all about adjusting and compromising. If one or the other person can’t, then it’s not much of a LTR.
Appropos of nothing, when I read the thread title, I thought of the old 60s TV show “Here Come the Brides” – anyone else remember that? Anyway, my sister thought this line was funny as hell: a woman asks the Ben Cartwright-like character (whose name was Jason Bolt, IIRC), “Mr. Bolt, how did you sleep?” He answers, “In the raw!”
I generally go into bed before my husband because he’s watching something on TV I don’t want to watch, or I’m just tired earlier. I usually get comfy, turn on the TV, turn off the light, and watch whatever brainlessness I choose till I get drowsy. Sometimes I set the TV to turn itself off in case I fall asleep mid-program. And one or both cats usually curl up next to me or on me.
On a pile of money and women.
What no “Lights out, crawl into bed, think about things for a while, get up, go pee, back to bed, think about things for a while, get up, take a melatonin, go pee, sigh, back to bed, think about things for a while, somehow fall asleep” option?
My husband is a night-owl and goes to sleep hours after I do. I go to sleep at what I think is a pretty normal time. Our usual routine is that I go up and read for an hour or so while he reads beside me. Then either I shut off the light and he leaves, or maybe we leave the light on for 10 minutes while he finishes reading something, then lights off and he leaves. (And sneaks back in when he’s ready to go to sleep.)
No SO here. I chose both of the “read a book and…” options. About 2/3 of the time I’ll fall asleep with the book in my hands, and wake up a couple of hours later and turn off the light.
I watch TV for an hour or two before I fall asleep. When I got a roommate who then got a girlfriend, I started falling asleep with the TV on to drown out the sex noises.
I keep shows on my laptop that are specifically for falling asleep to - detective shows. I find that once the murder has happened, I can roll over and concentrate on the dialog well enough to put me to sleep. It works great because concentrating on the dialog makes my mind stop buzzing.
Oddly enough, the boy I have my eye on falls asleep like this too (when we’re not sleeping together!) so it gives me hope that someday we could share a bed.
My wife used to have trouble falling asleep. She never turned off all the lights, kept the TV on, read a book, etc. I’m a “turn the lights off and fall asleep” kind of guy. This is one area I wasn’t willing to compromise. Flashbacks of college roommates who wanted to party and when I wanted to sleep. I figure at this point in my life, I should at least be able to decide when I want to go to sleep,and if anyone wants to do anything that interferes with that, they need to leave the room. As my wife explains it, I “rule the night.” Rather than leave the room, she went with the program, and generally sleeps much better now. I do, on occasion, allow a little more TV watching before sleep as a gesture of my profound love.
This would be a lot easier if you told us what the differences between you and your girl are.
For me though, my husband and I have different sleep cycles so I tend to go to bed earlier than he does.
So it’s a “If you love him, you’ll deal with it” type of situation? (Moonlitherial, I’m a girl… woman… female… geez, these all sound weird. I have girly bits)
To clarify, I’m pretty much the second option. I may watch a little tv in bed before sleeping, but it’s always off when I decide it’s time to close my eyes and sleep. I also do a lot of thinking at the end of the day when I’m in bed, so I toss around for about fifteen minutes to half an hour before drifting off. I like complete darkness. SO, on the other hand, has the tv on (sleep timer kind of “on”) and likes to keep the light on… the whole night! And he’s the type that falls asleep once his eyes are closed. To this day, when I toss around for a bit, he’ll ask me what’s wrong, why am I not sleeping, am I not comfortable, do I need more blankets, less blankets, etc. I usually spend nights with him on the weekends, so it’s not that big of a deal if I can’t sleep right away, but if I have to live with him and do it every night when I have to wake up at 6 AM the next day, it’d kill me to be sleep deprived.
Actually, the lights on/off thing has been about half and half since we started spending weekends together. Most of the time when he really wants to leave it on, I wait until he’s asleep and turn it off. He doesn’t even stir when I do this, so it can’t be that much of a comfort thing for him.
So $1 bills and… blow up dolls? Because I imagine real women would be quite bony if you were sleeping on a pile of them!
At any rate, that’s why I said elaborate! Although, I did suppose I left out the “I never sleep” insomniac and “I sleep during the day when the sun is out” vampire options…
I use some very low wattage lamps to sleep by. I tend to become instantly alert if there is no light being generated inside the room.
I think it’s kind of hilarious that you have “masturbate” as an option, but not “sex”.
Generally, it’s go to bed, sex with the husband, he goes to sleep, I read for a while, turn out the light, and if I’m lucky I’m asleep within 30 min or so.
pout Monopoly money and movie standees.
I said the “lights out, think” and “cuddle” options. As far as the practical part of the OP, we live apart but share a bed almost nightly. No huge problem, we both watch TV or similar and go to bed at the same time. Sometimes one goes to be earlier and it’s not a problem. In hot weather, spooning gets more difficult for her, but that’s it,
If sex becomes an option, then I demand “tire self out by unsuccessfully wheedling for sex, go to bed in frustration.”
It used to be I’d watch tv in bed while the SO conked out. The previous SO and I didn’t have a tv in the bedroom, so it was either read, sex, or lights out.
SansNow it’s pretty much go to bed, lights out. I’ll read on occasion, but if there are nights where I just can’t get to sleep, I’ll turn on the tv in the office, which is far enough away for the light to not be a problem. I set it at low volume. Acts like video valium and will usually put me out pretty quickly.
theres nothing better than go to sleep listening to a didos album it really relax me
Every night?!?! :eek:
You were wise, Procrustus. My husband “can’t” sleep without the TV, so he puts it on and goes right to sleep. I put a pillow over my head (which never quite blocks out the flickering light) and lie awake listening unwillingly to whatever’s on. Sometimes sleeping husband rolls over and nudges my pillow out of place and I have to arrange it again. If I pick up the remote, he wakes suddenly. Usually he remembers to set the sleep timer, other times I wake after a few hours of troubled sleep and shut it off myself. Worse, if something wakes us in the night, such as the dog having the shits, or the teenagers behaving like shits, the TV gets turned on again.
I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately. Masturbation helps. Sex might be more effective but it’s a lot harder to get.
I’m confused by the sequence of posts here. Are you asking if I get laid every night (not every, but most nights, yes, thank you awesome husband), or if **lurkinghorror **can’t manage to?