I said lights off, drift off, but I also have the radio on.
‘Lights out, ponder random shit for a while, drift off to sleep’ is my usual modus operandi but for nights I feel like sleep might prove problematic I typically masturbate, have a night-cap, or both. I’m happy the way things are except I really need to stop procrastinating before bedtime and give myself enough actual hours to sleep in. Blah.
I am the “lights out, fall into bed, fall asleep after a bit of tumbling” kind, but soft lighting doesn’t bother me and I don’t go to bed until I’m ready to “drop like a rock”; I’ve slept on a mattress on the floor of a studio while the studio’s owner played World of Warcraft, and he’s a keyboard masher: hearing him tank you think he hates the keyboard and is trying to punish it for all the sins of the world.
Once I fall asleep, waking me up is pretty hard. So I’d have no problem going to bed first and then having the SO join once I’m already in zz-land, or going to sleep while he reads. No TV, please: those only belong in the bedroom if someone is sick or for porn.
Still, in my case two beds would probably be better than one: in the winter I tend to capture any sheets and blankets, in the summer I fall asleep under blankets and promptly toss them off once asleep, and the few times I’ve shared a bed I’ve woken up all scrunched up and on the very edge (once, I woke up as I was falling off, just in time to go “ow”). Middlebro and his wife are the first people in my family to have a single marriage bed for generations: even my great-great-grandparents had two beds/two matresses on one frame arrangements. Considering the amount of children produced by several of those couples, it doesn’t seem to put much of a hamper on marital activities.
I’m in the same boat and moving in with my SO by the end of the month. We usually spend three nights a week together anyway but these are often prior to days off so are lacking conventional routine.
I’m a night owl and only need around 6 hours sleep to feel okay, I usually wait until feeling sleepy enough for bed then just a couple of chapters otherwise my body will think it’s time to be awake again and I’ll have to finish the whole book.
My SO needs AT LEAST 8 hours or will be a grump, she’s a shift worker so I’m imagining some interesting nights and early hours of the morning. She’s also not a huge reader and when you are in bed it’s for sexy times or sleepy times.
Solution? A reading light for me and a second bed for extreme differences in our schedules, I’m hoping this should prevent any issues that may arise.
My boyfriend is more of a night owl than I am, although most of the time we do make an effort to go to bed together. Sometimes he stays up a bit, reading, in which case I just kiss him goodnight, roll over, and go to sleep.
Neither of us are very sensitive sleepers. Sometimes his snoring wakes me up, but not frequently enough to be a problem.
My SO passes out early, around eight. Even before our little girl goes to sleep! It doesn’t bother him that I’m up until around midnight although he does tease me about all the keyboard and mouse tapping noises.
I have a lot of anxiety at night so my best routine is to stay up until I’m drifting off in front of the TV, internet or a book, then I slide into bed half asleep already.
The words “How do you sleep at night?” are usually followed by the words “you bastard!”…
So anyway, I am a chronic insomniac and my girlfriend is a chronic insomniac. When we go to bed (to sleep), we get into the bed with the lights off, maybe talk for a few minutes, then fall immediately asleep.
Unfortunately both of us then awaken a few hours later, though not always at the same time. However, her strategy is just to lie there in the dark, which tends towards her mulling things over a bit too much and getting worked up about stuff - in my opinion - which leads to more insomnia. Mine is to distract that kind of nonsense by listening to talk radio really quiet in an earpiece. I usually drift off as she lies awake until morning. 
I don’t know if you’re looking for advice, but a really good tip is this: do NOT stay in bed if you cannot sleep. If you do, you will associate being in bed with being awake, and your insomnia will get WORSE.
Get up and do something to tire yourself out. Read a really boring book, take sleeping pills, take a walk around the block, try nyquil. Doing ANYTHING else (from a psychological and behavioral standpoint) is better than lying awake in bed.
When alone: read a few pages in a book, lights out, asleep within a minute or so, sleep until alarm.
When visiting SO: lights out, aggravated cuddling, sleep, get woken by an elbow in the ribs by way of request to turn on the side for noise abatement, cuddle, go to sleep, elbow, cuddle, sleep, elbow, etc. until alarm.
I had to pick the 4th option, although my insomnia occasionally means “a while” lasts for hours.
I hate that.
In a bed.
Just a suggestion, but go on holiday together for a week or two. Share the bed and see how you get on.
Ha, this was my first thought when I read the thread title!
Scary, this describes my situation almost perfectly - as you say, a reading light is a simple, cheap, and effective solution. I couldn’t deal with someone who wanted to sleep with their cat or dog, but I think I could get used to sleeping with the light or TV on if absolutely necessary. I guess i would not sleep as well, though.
Trail off to bed at 11.30 or so. Cuddle under the duvet and read (usually paper books - although I have been known to read a book off my netbook). Sometimes I don’t bother reading and will just cuddle silently until he’s done. Then lights out, maybe a short conversation, maybe other things, then quiet and sleep.
I have a bit of insomnia sometimes, nothing terrible, but once in a while for three or four days at a time I won’t be able to sleep before 3 or 4 am. During those times I might read a book off an LCD screen, but that disturbs him, so I’ll do my best to lay in the dark and try to sleep. I used to be MUCH worse about this. I think the routine we’ve developed has been really soothing.
You forgot “Turn off the lights, crawl into bed, toss and turn from insomnia for the next hour or two.”
I don’t read books to help me fall asleep (unless I’ve got really bad insomnia, the type where you’re awake at two in the morning). I read books to help me wake up.
Maybe that should be a companion poll: “How do you get up in the morning?”
On a few occassions, I hit the timer on the television, turn the volume way down and am asleep within minutes.
Mostly, I rely on my Sleepmaker Storm app–usually I turn it on (it’s on a timer) and by the time the light dims on the app, I’m out. It’s like instant valium–I hear the app and I’m drowsy. Thinking about it makes me yawn.
The only thing is that the room has to be very cool at night, or I sleep horribly. (Very cool is about 60 degrees or less in the winter and about 65 or less during the summer. In the summer, the ceiling fan and AC are on. The winter, I shut the heating vent nearly complete, but no ceiling fan or AC.)
When I was younger, it took me FOREVER to get to sleep–usually an hour or more. I simply could not shut down my mind. Now, I guess there’s less in there, so I drop off like a dead person.
You’re missing the “lay awake in bed for 2 hours trying to force yourself to sleep” option.
I’m responding to your OP, not the poll. You didn’t put “other” there.
My sweet baboo is in the sandbox. When he gets to come home, we have 3 weeks together. For the first couple of nights, we don’t sleep 
I’m someone who needs dark and quiet. He’s someone who is used to the lights on and people moving around. It was really bad at first, he wanted music at least. I bought some foam earplugs and a motion activated nightlight so that he could see when he went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. (it didn’t help his aim and he still can’t remember to put the toilet seat down, but that’s a different story)
Our home has 2 bathrooms and his usual timelagged habit is to get up at strange times in the night, leave the bedroom and then only come back to take a dump in the “master” bedroom.
We talked about it. That was the most important thing we did. We talked and compromised. I don’t mind getting woken up for sex, its actually fun to have him slip into bed and wake me up in a good way. The smell of him using the toilet at 3 am was horrible. He now uses the “guest” bathroom when I’m sleeping.
So…this was a long post to say that communication is the most important thing part of a relationship. Sleep is important. Consideration is important. Communication and compromise is the most important thing, tho.
I usually read a few pages in bed 'til I’m extra groggy then turn the light out. My husband tends to watch TV until all hours of the night, then come to bed when he’s so exhausted he can’t think. He has insomnia; I’m lucky enough not to suffer from that. I can usually convince myself to sleep whatever my situation.