It helps loads if you’re faaaaabulous. Pretty much half the gay parties I attended with friends ended up with at least a room or two that was dedicated to group sex by the end of the night. “Whoops, sorry, I was just looking for a place to chill. Didn’t mean to walk in on all you guys. No, that’s okay, I’ll keep my clothes on and look for another place to zone out. You all go back to your fun. Sorry for interrupting.”
Doing stuff with friends is usually a bit weird. I had a wild girlfriend who organized a small sex-game themed party by asking three other couples she knew. That was awkward since the eight of us knew each other, but hadn’t really thought about “knowing” each other. It didn’t turn into a prong-fest as was hoped for, though we all did get naked and do . . . stuff in front of each other. The couple boundaries didn’t get broken down much even though everyone knew what the deal was before they came there. On the other hand, I got a girlfriend out of a particularly wild game of Truth or Dare that spontaneously happened at a friend’s place, where the game started out fairly tame and got more wild fairly shortly. If we’d had more people, it would have been an orgy in short order, as it was, the six of us ended up pairing off.
If you want to turn a party into an orgy, you probably have to invite the right people and have a decent mix of females to males. Too many guys with too few gals probably causes problems since even swinging guys sometimes have hangups about homosexuality and the women (at first) might not want to be on the receiving end of so much undivided attention. Too many women presents its own challenges too. You also have to have a few completely uninhibited people of both sexes to get things started. Games help break the ice and get people acquainted. Plain old Spin the Bottle or Truth or Dare seem to work just fine, though more imaginative games are undoubtedly out there. I’m extrapolating since I’ve never been to a full-blown (ahem) orgy, as it were, but I’ve been to a few parties that were semi-orgiastic, and known a few people who organized parties that were even more . . . interesting.
Starting with swappers/swingers and networking would probably work well if you wanted to build a list of people who were into that kind of thing for bigger gatherings. I’m sure there’s a bulletin board around (there’s one for everything) since there were at least a couple in my area when I first got into BBSing way back in the pre-internet days. Unless you’re very good at asking indirectly and interpreting discreet replies, or have exceptionally uninhibited acquaintances, polling people you know might be a problem.
If you’re still in college, from my experience wild parties with the potential for impromptu orgies can easily be arranged. Young people are way more into experimentation than those in their 30s or older and they tend not to have long-term serious relationships that get in the way. Throwing a sex party might not be that hard if you plan it a little bit; with a ribald theme, suggestive games, and toys and other supplies at hand. (Arggh, it’s difficult to avoid puns with this topic.)
Czarcasm’s suggestions are good. From what I’ve heard, setting attendance rules of single women being okay, but no unaccompanied men is a good idea to keep ratios from getting unbalanced. The last thing you want is a party where the potential for sexual violence or assault is made more likely by an imbalance between “supply” and “demand”. Limiting your guest list to people you know personally or who are vouched for by people you know and trust to make judgments is probably a good idea to limit the potential for problems too.
