I’ve heard that there are cosmetic surgeons out there who specialize in restoring older women’s vaginas, making them feel just like they did when they were young. Apparently, most of these doctors say they use lasers to perform this surgical procedure.
I can understand how a laser could be used to slice off body parts, but I can’t comprehend how a laser could actually reduce the size of a woman’s vagina? How does this procedure work??
Thanks.
I just want to say :eek:.
Well, just reading the term made me clench up, and I don’t even have one…
Only on the SDMB, could this be posted with a straight face…
Maybe they can help:
Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute of Los Angeles.
9201 Sunset Blvd. Suite 406
No joke. It came up as the first link in a search for “laser valginal surgery” on yahoo.
I have heard of “doctors” (I use the term loosely, since apparently many of the folks performing this procedure are uncertified, barred from practice, and/or frauds) who would use a scalpel or other physical instrument to cause the growth of scar tissue. This did have the advertised effect of tightening the vagina, but also caused considerable discomfort for the patient. I would presume that the procedure about which the OP is asking is a modern varient of the same.
And by the way, let me be the first to say “Band name”.
First you get a 1920’s style death ray, and change the settings from “Death” to…
Who’s going to be the first one to come up with a Star Trek joke relating to this containing the words “lazer”, “wormhole”, and “Jeffery’s Tube”?
Here’s a Salon.com article about the doctor that pioneered this procedure which has some good background.
For some reason, the office’s address (already mentioned by MrTuffPaws) conjures the image of Norma Desmond: “Alright, Mr. Flynt-- I’m ready for my close-up!”
When lasers are used to tighten facial tissue, it’s basically as Chronos has described. The basically sear a //////// pattern with a laser over your crowsfeet or what-have you and the formation of scar tissue in response is supposedly asthetically pleasing. It’s kind of like sewing, in a way, putting in some stitching to keep the hem from stretching out.
I sppose this could work to tighten up the tissues on the vaginal surface, but I don’t see how this would be terribly beneficial… as there’s a bit of deep tissue to be concerned about. Tight skin without anything underneath it for support would probably just be painful. I also can’t imagine that scarrification does much for the sensitivity, either.
The vagina is made of really stretchy tissue (think of the size of a baby’s head); scar tissue is less stretchy; I’d have thought that about covers it.
I knew a hooker that had hers tightened but from what I remember it wasn’t with lasers it was just from having a few stitches added. Or maybe it was more then just a few stitches.
That Matlock, is there ANYTHING he can’t do?
'Cause she’s playing all night
And the music’s all right
Mama’s got a squeeze box
Daddy never sleeps at night
– The Who
OOOH… they really should’ve avoided the phrase “cut-and-dried” ! :eek:
You know, there are any number of pervy cartoonists on the Web who would take one look at the thread title, & create a drawing of Cobra Commander & the Baroness that would get us all caned in Singapore.
You do know that, doncha?
Good. Go find one. 
:billows of smoke:“AHHHHHH! DUCK AND RUN THERE IS A LASER IN HER COOTER!”:billows of smoke:
Is exactly what I first thought of…
[Dr. Evil] All I want are some vaginas with frikin’ laser tightening. Is that too much to ask? [/DE]
WOOT=)
Finally, a proceedure tat women can use a bag of frozen peas for post surgical pain
Q. How much discomfort will I have after laser vaginal rejuvenation?
A. With our technique of submucossal tumescence, pudendal block with long acting local anesthetic, you will be pain free for the first 18 to 24 hours. After this patients reprot mild to moderate discomfort which can be controlled by analgesics and cold packs to the area.
That’s one bit of elective surgery I won’t be saving my pennies for. :eek:
Vaginal tightening is a common practice in many islamic countries, It is done by cutting the walls with a knife, and packing the vagina with salt (outch!). Obviously, this has the potential to cause a fatali infection. I read about this in T. E. Lawrence’s book.