is that they use duct tape to, ahem, keep things out of the way.
At least that’s what my doctor jokingly called it yesterday, as he tore off a piece with the look of a man about to repair a muffler.
He also said, “Come back in six weeks with a sample. Although I don’t like to suggest numbers, it takes approximatley 15-20 ejaculations to remove live sperm from the vas deferens.”
I said “15-20? What time do you close today?” I’m sure hilarity ensued, but the pre-surgery Xanax made things a bit foggy. The post-surgery Percocet made me want to post this.
The doc who snipped my brother-in-law used a piece of string, tied to BIL’s shirt button, to keep Mr. Happy out of the way.
I, personally, was surprised to find out that my doctor had used staples to close me up after I got spayed (uterus AND ovaries removed, thankyouverymuch). Although I didn’t like the idea at first, I must say that the staples came out easier than any stitches I’ve ever had.
I sat through my ex husbands vasectomy, I don’t remember any duct tape or string, but for the love of Og I will never forget the smell of burning flesh as they cauterized those things… :eek:
Plus it gives a lovely zipper effect. My mom showed me her staples. She kept trying to get me to look at them, but I kept refusing. Then I was in her room one day, talking to her about something, and she sprang the staples on me suddenly. “Here, look!”
There’s something uniquely humbling about either using a device yourself, or watching someone use a device to remove surgical staples. I’ve never had to remove them myself, but I watched a teenage boy watch a surgeon for a few minutes and then proclaim, " Okay, I got it" and take the staple remover. And proceed to remove well over 60 staples from the skin graft holding the graft over the burn site as it bonded in to his body. ( This was in the Burn Center at Denver’s Children’s Hospital. )
Amazing. And, Lynn, do you find that the scar is neater and thinner than with stitches? ( Dunno if you have anything on your corpus to use for comparison, but… )
Seems there is a vast difference in technique between doctors. During conversation while undergoing The Procedure, I told the doc that I was recommended against the otehr urologist in the office. The nurse said “Yes doctor, he pulls much harder than you.” I was glad I had the less hard puller.
And no duct tape or string was needed. Once the scalpel came to open up the bag of grapes, Mr Happy made like a turtle.
My experience was much like BoringDad’s. No tape was needed as nervousness coupled with lying in the very well air conditioned office had ensured that i had “turned turtle” to a very large extent. My doctor seemed rather pleasantly surprised that I was one of the apparently few people to follow his pre-procedure instructions and shave or depliltory the day before. A few quick jabs of a local anasthetic, and Doc was off to the races, a scalpel nick on the right side, a bit of fishing around for the right piece of “spaghetti” to cut , followed by a snip of the vas with scissors. I will never forget the overwhelming scent of , erm, seminal fluid that filled the room when he cut the vas the second time on the other side of the forceps he was holding it with. A quick crimp of 2 little titanium clips, a stitch for the incision and side one is done.
Side 2 started off badly.
“Um, doc, i can feel that” said through gritted teeth while jumping 3" off the table using nothing but clenched butt muscles. Another few pokes with the local anasthetic needle, and all is well again.
Except.
Except that my cell phone, in my pants pocket draped over a chair on the other side of the room decides to tell me it has a call. Needless to say i really didn’t feel the need to answer at that point.
The rest of the procedure went rather well, and I was crimped and stitched on side 2 in due course.
Aftercare instructions were interesting. Doc reccomended sitting on a bag of frozen peas and encouraged me to “stimulate emissions” as soon as the swelling subsided. Yup, I was under doctor’s orders to masturbate daily for the next 3-4 weeks. In six weeks I was to have a tender moment with myself and bring him a sample sometime thereafter.
As for the cell phone, I had the unique pleasure of being able to tell my ex wife that i wasn’t able to take her call, because at the moment a doctor was going all ginsu on my naughty bits. That alone may have been worth the price of the co-pay.
This is the second vasectomy thread in a couple of weeks which is timely because I am thinking about getting one. This thread is turning me off of the procedure.
You have to shave your own nuts? Plus I’m scared of the pain. Is it really that bad?
The shaving is no biggie. Just be careful and use LOTS of lather.
There is no pain to speak of. The worst that I remember was the (approximately) two second between the needle stick and the local anesthetic kicking in. Plus the fact that the doctor and I nearly ran the nurse and SWMBO out of the room with the horrible jokes we were trading back and forth.
I didn’t think it was that big of deal–had one about 2 years ago. I didn’t shave, nor do I recall them shaving me. I had the ‘no-scapel’ V. It was painless–and I took the next day off, and was fine.
I was very nervous about it before–and it was not a big deal. Now I have read some of these vasectomy threads and some people have had much different experiences than I had–but my experience was it was pretty simple and painless.
Lynn, I had an incredible image of your doctor wielding Milton’s stapler over your stomach. Then I re-read the whole thing, and realized that you were probably talking about medical staples.
You shave just a little patch at the base of the shaft.
I got the duct tape treatment myself.
I know three other guys who had vasectomies and they said that it was so painless that they felt pretty foolish for being so nervous about it beforehand. So, how did it go for me? Of course, it hurt like hell! My urologist did something with the anesthetic that felt like I was being kicked…HARD. And that pain lasted for a good week and a half before it subsided.
But I do NOT regret doing it, and I strongly recommend having it done.
I had mine done when I was in for gall bladder surgery. They did it while I was under general so I didn’t feel a thing.
When I awoke, the pain from the gall baldder incisions drowned out any other problems I may have had, in fact there was no pain at all. I actually had to check to see if maybe they forgot to do it I never had a twinge or anything other than a slight soreness at the incision sites that went away in a day or two.
this seemed like the most work safe of the sites I hit. Just type in ‘no scalpel vasectomy’ and you will get tons of sites of doctors performing these. Basically they use one point to get both vans. I went this option–mainly cause I liked the title ‘no scalpel’ I understand your hesitation–I had the same issue. But it is nice not worrying about accidental pregnancy and bonus-no condoms!
I never had a twinge or anything other than a slight soreness at the incision sites that went away in a day or two.