Ms. Delta has too many risk factors to go on the pill, has had problems with IUD’s in the past, and wearing condoms feels like I’m screwin’ the sofa cushions. And to have Ms. Delta’s tubes tied is major surgery. So. . .
Delta’s gettin’ it done.
If you or anyone you know has had one, share your experiences here. I’d like to know what to expect.
A good friend of mine had a vasectomy done a couple of years ago. He told my husband and I the story so matter-of-factly; it was as though he was talking about a memorable trip to the grocery store.
According to my friend, the procedure took about 15 minutes. He didn’t feel a thing after the shot, and even the shot wasn’t that bad. He watched the whole thing as it happened, and said it was completely non-traumatic. I was most impressed.
Interesting, though. Two years have passed and his wife now wants a baby. He told me there’s no way in hell he’s having it reversed, so they’re considering adoption.
Usually, it’s done in a urologist’s office, under local anasthesia. You lie back on that padded doctor table and put your feet in those big metal stirrup thingies. The doc washes your scrotum with germ-killer stuff, then he dabs on some topical numbing goo. When that has worked, you get a wee shot of anasthetic. When that has worked, the doc makes snips a little bitty slit on the bottom of your scrotum. Because of the shot, you won’t feel it. The doc can feel the position of your testes, and, knowing where to reach, will reach in through the slit to snag the vas with a little blunt hook. There are several methods for the next step. The vas will be cut and plugged, tied off, or cauterized to keep little Sammy Sperm from escaping. The vas has no pain nerves, so the most you’ll feel during this is some gentle tugging. Then the vas gets tucked back in. There are two vasa, one for each ball, so it’s repeated. The doc will have had you buy a suspensory, sort of a high tech jockstrap, to rein in movement for a day or two. There’s no stitching. The scrotum heals quickly, and a month later you’ll be unable to find the scar. The whole thing takes less time than it took me to write this. Most men go home (have someone else drive) and take it easy for the rest of the day. My doc told me of a motorcycle cop who went back out and worked the rest of his shift.:eek:
You may get some swelling. If you do, apply an ice pack. Get a few doses of a good painkiller before the procedure. If you do get pain, (some do,) you won’t feel like going to the drugstore.
Some people confuse sterility with impotence or lack of manliness. Not true. The balls continue to make testosterone for the bloodstream. The other parts continue to make semen for ejaculation. The only difference is no babies.
As katiekilldare said, your doc may offer to rig a mirror so you can watch it happen. I opted to read a magazine instead.
Remember, there are sperm in the pipeline before the procedure, so don’t have unprotected sex until after two negative sperm count checks.
As for reversal, the odds on that depend a lot on the method for blocking the vas. One method even uses a teensy little valve. Ask your doctor about it, if you’re curious.
–Nott, who shoots blanks
The only pre-operative step that AskNott skipped is that they shave your scrotum.
Post Operative suggestions… If you wear boxers, or even tighty whities that have some room, go buy a few pair of tight briefs. You do not want things moving freely for the first couple weeks.
Make sure you have at least three or four packages of frozen peas in the loose plastic bags. These make the absolute best ice packs… just keep switching them.
For the pain level… I usually just describe it as though you ended up getting kicked up there… a couple days ago. It’s not unbearable, it’s just uncomfortable.
Follow your post care instructions carefully.
And from my recollection the itching of the hair growing back in was actually more uncomfortable than healing from the surgery. Which isn’t to say this itching is that bad, it’s to say the healing is that non threatening.
And of course the most awkward thing around the whole procedure is the pre and post testing. Peeing in a cup is easy in comparison. 
There have been hundreds of threads related to this issue. A quick search will reveal all (including my rants about the process). My advice, save yourself and your insurance company the money and get two bricks and a good bottle of scotch. Once you’re good and drunk you’ll figure out what the bricks are for.
New 21" Dell Monitor- $400 (or so)
New Bottle of Diet Coke- $1.50
I’ll expect payment through the mail, plnnr.
Two? From the handful of stories I’ve heard, and the two people I know personally, who have had vasectomies, one of them being my boyfriend, the vast majority of doctor’s only require, and perform one post-surgical sperm count check, approximately 6 weeks after the proceedure. My BF had his done, last summer, shortly after we learned that I was pregnant. At my post-partum check up, my doctor asked about birth control, and when I told him that my BF had had a vasectomy, he asked about the post-surgical sperm check, and he assured me that we should feel safe, as it came back negative. From what I understand, most cases in which a woman becomes pregnant after a vasectomy, the man did not go back for the sperm check, for whatever reason, and…whoops.
As for my boyfriend’s experience, he said that it hurt, and that he could still feel pain, even after the anesthetic was given, although it was dulled. Other than that, he did not have a bad recovery, in the slightest. A few days of mild discomfort, which was easily eased with tight drawers, and ice. Even with the pain that he encountered during the proceedure, he does not regret having it done.
~V
I had a very bad time of it; I opted for local anaesthesia (the default at the NHS hospital where I went was general), but it didn’t work properly and I felt the incisions. I also got a nasty infection to follow that was bordering on life-threatening (not to mention , but responded well to strong antibiotics. There were a few other nasty aspects to the whole thing too, but I won’t dwell on them
In spite of all that, I’d still recommend it to someone seeking a permanent solution; my bad experience was pretty rare.
As Mangetout said, bad things can happen, but they’re pretty rare. I’ve heard some…er, unpleasant stories, though. One of them here. But usually, I understand, it’s pretty routine.
My brother, Lectricity had it done just recently. Apparently the operation wasn’t so bad, but he did have some post-op complications that had him walking like an old man for about a month afterward. And then, at the follow-up screening, the doc found he was fertile again!
Apparently, the doc’s giving him another one for free.
As Mangetout said, bad things can happen, but they’re pretty rare. I’ve heard some…er, unpleasant stories, though. One of them here. But usually, I understand, it’s pretty routine.
My brother, Lectricity had it done just recently. Apparently the operation wasn’t so bad, but he did have some post-op complications that had him walking like an old man for about a month afterward. And then, at the follow-up screening, the doc found he was fertile again!
Apparently, the doc’s giving him another one for free.
:smack:
I’ve posted this here before, but my friend Steve has a hilarious recap of his snip party.
Mine was done in the Doc’s office. A nurse does the shave, but due to the scaryness of the procedure, stimulation is impossible. Retraction is more likely. The local anasthetic takes care of any pain, but you can still feel the tugging and tying going on. I cannot describe how freaky this feels.
I had no problem recovering (my Doc would only schedule vasectomies on Fridays so you had the weekend to recover), but I have heard enough horror stories to suggest you follow the doc’s instructions even if you feel fine. Infection in that spot cannot be fun. I was fine after two days. And the fact that you no longer need to worry with birth control does amazing things for your sex life!
AskNott’s description sums up my experience, although I got two incisions and some stitches.
There were some funny parts. While the surgeon was doing the local anesthetic, Candi, the bouncy and well-endowed bimbo in scanty dress resembling that of a nurse, asked if I’d like some headphones for some soothing music which might help me to relax. She tells me the music selection is Yanni, Indigo Girls, Kenny G, Madonna, and the like. Feeling the drugs starting to work, decide I’ll be fine without the music.
All goes well, up to the point where he has pulled out and isolated the first vas. Instead of cutting and cauterizing, he clamps it with a small hemostat so it doesn’t slide back in, and proceeds to make the second incision and starts working the second vas. OK, cool. So he’s efficient with his motions and aims to minimize putting down and picking up his tools. But does he realize that the cold steel of the first hemostat bouncing around on my numbed balls (BING-BING, BINGA-BING-BING) is driving me up the fucking wall?
“CANDI! Kenny G! Please!”
They both practically keeled over laughing.
I received Kenny G in short order and things went well from there.
We had Mr. Kitty neutered a few months after we got married. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Best $48 I ever spent. 
Ask for The Shot. In addition to the local, they have what Mr. Kitty called “The Don’t Give a Damn Shot” which is optional. He was very, very happy during the procedure. Since I have a medical background, I decided to sit in and watch. Good thing, too, since the nurse got called out of the room mid-procedure and I wound up assisting.
The procedure has been well-described here (though Mr. Kitty had a stitch or two), and I have nothing to add. The important thing is getting a doc you’re comfy with and who thinks quickly on his feet. [TMI ALERT!!!] When the doc pulled out the first vas, I couldn’t help my “what the hell??” reaction- it was huge! Turns out Mr. Kitty only had one vas, which was oversized to compensate. Poor doc spent a good half hour digging around trying to find the other vas… speaks very well for the Happy Shot, since the doc was bent like a linebacker and really rooting around, and Mr. Kitty didn’t even flinch. I brought Mr. Kitty home, he slept off and on til the next day, and was up and about the day after. Stairs were a problem for a couple of weeks, but overall he had no lasting effects.
He went in for three sperm counts- first two were too close to call, and the doc wanted to be on the safe side especially considering the weirdness of the operation. 
Good luck!!!
-BK
I had mine done at four in the afternoon, drove myself home (before the anaesthetic wore off) and took a couple off days off as per my doctor’s suggestion.
I was pretty bruised up and sore for a few weeks afterwards. I don’t think this is all that common as I know other guys who had none of these post operative reactions and were back to normal in a few days.
The procedure isn’t bad at all. At least it wasn’t for me. Drove to the doc’s office. 45 minutes later, I drove myself home. It gave me an excuse for being a bum the rest of the day.
Do get checked afterwards. My first vasectomy didn’t take. Had to have another one since I kept coming back with positive counts. I wasn’t to thrilled about that but what are ya gonna do?
The doc did the second one for free.
Thor just wasn’t going to go down without a fight, enipla
Asknott’s description of the procedure matches my experience pretty well, except that I had to shave myself ahead of time. My advice is to use scissors to get things short, then use the sideburn trimmer feature of an electric razor to get down to skin. I didn’t feel comfortable trying this with my Trac II. (TMI?) Oh, they will tape Big Earl down while they cut into The Twins. But you can use the old joke later about how, when the doc removed the tape, he tore all the hair off your chest.
Do NOT use plnnr’s method. Ain’t no bottle of scotch out there that’s that good!
Honkytonkwillie, I wish I had had Candi as the assistant. My HMO didn’t offer that benefit, the cheap bastards!
Bobkitty - Never, ever say “fixed” in this situation. The correct term is “broken”. He doesn’t work right any more, does he?
I also scheduled mine for a Friday afternoon, and took the weekend off. The next day I looked like someone hit me with a 2 by 4, but it didn’t hurt much at all.