Most answers here pretty much parallel my experience, except that I wanna know where Winston Smith gets his insurance coverage!!!
I was told to shave everything myself. I did what I could, but I didn’t achieve naked mole rat status. I probably looked more like “Charlie Sheen Mole Rat after a 3 day bender”. But the doctor took care of shaving where he needed me to be shaved.
I brought a newspaper to read - this was well before Ipods and those newfangled contrivances. They wouldn’t let me read it - something about keeping a sterile field and such.
I got a quick shot of a local anesthetic, and then Dr. Coldhands proceeded to tape Little Ralf down to keep him from standing at attention. All the while he was teaching his assistant Dr. Teenager how to perform the procedure. To be honest, there wasn’t much pain, only a little tugging. It sort of felt like he was pulling on a kidney blood vessel, I think. Not painful, but just… odd. Then there was a whiff of burned Ralf as he cauterized the ends, and then he followed the label instructions (rinse and repeat as necessary) for the other side. The cauterization is a good idea - I know 2 guys who had the Big Snip, and who’s wives became pregnant after the cut ends apparently located each other and join hands again. Cauterization would prevent that, I assume. Don’t take my word, though - I don’t play a doctor on TV, even.
I was given a little specimen cup, some pain pills, and post-care instructions to go home and sit down for the weekend. I was able to walk out under my own power, but I definitely didn’t take any manly giant strides across the parking lot. I took one of the pain pills, but didn’t really need the rest of them. YMMV.
A bag of frozen peas can be a great friend to you in this time. But a gallon ziploc bag with ice inside and a hand towel outside will do just as well, and there’s much less chance of the bag ending up back in the freezer afterwards, and on your dinner plate next week. Imagine serving that to your boss - or mother-in-law. You’d kill yourself trying to keep a straight face!
I second the comment to be sure you use whatever form of birth control you’ve been using until you get the doctor’s okey-dokey that you’re officially no longer in the gene pool. I went back 2-3 times, I think. BTW, this is what the specimen cup was for, if you haven’t figured that out. You’ll feel really funny bringing this in, as it’s a lead-pipe guaranteed cinch that the person behind the desk when you bring this in will be an off-duty Miss America. But it’s worth it in the long run.
And you’ll get to to use the greatest vasectomy joke in all the world afterwards. “When the doctor took off the tape, he tore all the hair off my chest!”