I’m basing it on what some guy said. Like I said, I’d never try that myself. It just seems so wrong on so many levels.
This is all true to an extent, but it’s important to realize that social skills are absolutely vital in the attraction process and that is a very large part of what the PUA community teaches. Confident mindsets to fall into, conversation starters, and the appropriate way to let your interest be known and to return interest when someone else expresses it.
Because I do have a great job, I am ambitious, quick witted, a culture junky, and I do work out consistently, I’ve had various women become interested in me. I’ve even had a few THROW themselves at me. But even if a girl is throwing herself at you, you still need to know how to catch. I don’t. I really, truly, sincerely don’t. I’m trying to learn, and succeeding, but it’s a steep, steep learning curve. All you have to do is miss one or two of her signals, and end a phone conversation on an awkward note before their interest goes right out the window.
I’m not single because my life is falling to pieces, I’m single because I’m still socially inept when it comes to women.
I had this problem when I was younger. It wasn’t so much a matter of being socially inept. It was more, not recognizing the signals or not being completely comfortible with what was the appropriate response or the proper pace to escalate the relationship. That’s one of the advantages that guys who act like “jerks” have. You’re more likely to get a girl if you err on the side of being too aggressive.
Some of the cues that told me in the past that a girl was interested:
-Smiles and averts gaze nervously
-Touches you on the arm
-Approaches unusally close to you
-She goes out of her way to talk to you
-Tends to hang out with you long after everyone else has left the party
-Her friends tell you she likes you
-She gives you her number
-Asks you out on a date
-Invites you to a dance or similar function
-Asks you if she can make out with you
-Expresses an interest in having sex with you
Ya think? 
Ya do know, Autolycus, that she negged you? She caused you to pine and create a thread, she is trying to outharvard you. You must display your higher value.
It’s the game. (Don’t blame me, I wish it were different, but you’re the peacock, and she’s the peahen.)
Given the circumstances, I think she was just being a nasty bitch, but whatever.
E.g., wearing a Harvard sweatshirt and acting like a douche?
I was having a conversation with one of my friends about this the other day, though slightly in reverse. My friend made the comment that a girl who had had just broken off her engagement with another good friend of ours was “unattractive”, and I said that I thought she was quite pretty. My friend said it was her personality made her unattractive to her.
So in our world, being a nice person makes you attractive. 
Personally I’ve always found intelligence and a great smile uber attractive, as well as lovely geek boys. I’m a geek girl though, so that’s par for the course.
I guess the bottom line is what is really attractive to one person is not neccessarily what the next person does.
I have a (very) small list of things that can detract from attractiveness imho though, especially when talking to a potential prospective mate. My opinion only feel free to disagree.
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Don’t show hopeless obsessive desperation to find a mate. No matter how attractive you are, you come across as needy, and well, very, very desperate, and this takes the focus away from your good bits. Everyone (very generally speaking, I know the Dope always proves me wrong
) wants to wind up with one that they love, but don’t advertise in skywriting how desperately you want to find the one. DO wear your heart on your sleeve. DO make your interest known, but make sure s/he’s interested before going ahead and planning the rest of your life around them, so to speak. -
Don’t issue conditions. If someone has made their disinterest known, try to move on. Don’t try and play them with a line like “If things were different and you weren’t with that person or we lived closer or a whole lot of dynamics were changed, do you think we would have a chance?” Personally speaking - and I’ve had a few of these issued to me in the past - it can make a person feel trapped and want to run in the opposite direction.
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Don’t overanalyse everything. If someone is happy spending time with you, they will respond to your invitations and possibly even issues invites themselves. Don’t spend time OVER-analysing everything they have said for clues as to how they feel about you. A little consideration is good and healthy (imho), but too much of it can show itself in the way you respond, and make the other person feel uncomfortable.
I’m going to call that story bullshit. Sorry tdm, you seem like a nice guy, even though you have birthday parties in cities where I don’t live.
It’s bullshit because you talk of meeting the “special someone” and with a special someone, you don’t bullshit them. It’s also bullshit for another reason which I’ll write below.
There are gold-diggers out there. There are rich guys who fuck gold-diggers, knowing that they are gold-diggers and are using them before throwing them back into the water. There are also people (like your friend claims to be) who find ways to use gold-diggers even though they aren’t rich.
The real reason that this is a bullshit story is the “guaranteed” part. Nothing, and I repeat, nothing is guaranteed in the game. Real players talk of probabilities. If you give it to someone who isn’t a gold-digger you may or may not spark an interest and even with ones who are looking for a sugar daddy, you by not be her type of sugar daddy.
In my town, $6,000 isn’t a lot of money. Sure, $100,000 is, but then you would find the ones who think you’re a stupid rich person for not investing that money.
Now for my experience with these types of girls. In the foreigner-friendly part of Tokyo, there is a bar on the ground floor of a trendy skyscraper which houses a well-known American securities company. Since we don’t want to name names, let’s just call the company “LB.” There are a number of similar companies nearby, which we will call “GS” and “DB.” Traders and various others in these companies made serious money. Many of these people will drop down into the bar for a drink.
Some women will come looking for a nice catch. You can tell them because they’ll ask you right away where you work. Name anywhere other than these companies and you find yourself talking to blank air really quickly.
Said companies use our equipment, so I work with a number of people at LB, GS, and DB. When I would hang out with these people, there would be a very different reaction from said girls.
A couple of stories.
I was with a good friend, who is The Man. He’s a player’s player. We were talking to one chick who was obviously looking for big bucks. Mr. Wingman asks me, in front of her, if I had decided which company I was going to sign with. Gold-digger-chick (GDC) looked quizzically, so he explained that I worked for company X, but both LB and GS wanted to recruit me for a position in China. Thoughtfully, he added that they were competing with signing bonuses and asked how that was going. I said it was enough to pay off the balance on my Roppongi Hill condo or some bullshit and the look in GDC’s eyes said that it was a sure thing that night. I’m out of the game now, so I didn’t partake, but someone could have had her with that line.
Back before I got married again, I was at the same place and helped a client of my meet some girls. They were nursing students and while not as obvious as GDC from above, were there to meet rich people. My client, who is also a good drinking buddy, was having a bit of difficulty so I played the wingman for him and got a date set up the next night. The really pretty girl said she was fine going out with him, but asked if her also really pretty friend could go along. I said sure, and then agreed to fall on my sword for the company and went along. Such sacrifices we make!
We went to dinner then back to the bar, and things were going well with the client and his girl, but only so so with me. Of course, I was still being a wingman, so I didn’t particularly care if nothing happened. Then the gods of fortune changed their minds and decided to reward me for my diligence to my company. I was telling some story that involved a backhand swing, which collided with my date’s white wine glass, which send cabernet sauvignon down my shirt.
My client suggested that I go up to his room in the Grand Hyatt Hotel upstairs, a five star hotel with rooms that go for $400 plus. The date came along, we wound up ordering more wine, running a bath and requiring his sheets to be changed before he kicked me out when he needed the room. We went down and checked into another room (with a corporate rate from a securities company, but it was still about $200) and continued our fun.
Ah, the good old days.
Well, yeah. You’ll notice when I posted that that I called bullshit on it too. It’s the guy who talked about it that said the results were guaranteed, not me. I think it’s a totally stupid gambit, though a sort of funny one.
I almost wish I was there, just so I could see her mannerisms during that exchange, because I’m having a hard time imagining it. All I can come up with is that she acted like a complete irrational bitch. In that case, you’re better off without her.
Yesterday a woman told me that we needed to stop meeting like this. I told her that yeah, people are starting to talk. We had a nice laugh over it.
This site was written by a very, very bitter (and possibly impotent) man.
How are you with male friends? How about with female friends who you don’t have interest in?
This is very cynical. I did have an experience with this but I still find it hard to believe that most women would pursue a relationship with a guy they didn’t find attractive just because of money.
I also find it hard to believe it would work. It seems so transparent to me.
However, my one experience with this was accidental. I was at a conference for work. At this conference there were many attractive women and I was single and looking. One woman I was interested in wasn’t interested in me, so after seeing this was true, didn’t pursue her. She then needed to get to some local business (The conference was in my home area (Minneapolis) and she was from Chicago). I took a piece of paper out of my briefcase and drew a map on the blank side. Stupidly, I didn’t flip it over to see what I was writing on.
Later, I was looking for it and realized what I had given her. You see, some friends and/or coworkers had a contest lasting the year. You start with a million dollars and see what you have at the end of the year. I had done really well and was up to about 3.7 million dollars. This wasn’t real money, but the website a guy designed for this contest looked very professional.
This woman had a printout of my ‘account’ with #shares of stocks, when bought/ worth how much and a grand total of 3.7 million dollars in it…
I was sure I looked the fool, trying this ‘scam’ to bed her and she would think this.
I mean, cmon…she had to think it was fake. But…nope…and I got the full court press. I had no idea a woman could be that sexually aggressive.
I still don’t believe most women would do this…or even think it was real if they would.
Oh dear. That’s hilarious.
So, did you set her straight, or did you, ahem, set her straight?
Not to sound melodramtic or anything, but this was one of the first ‘real’ moral tests in my life…and I’m sorry to say I failed. I ‘enjoyed’ it, never lied but didn’t set her straight though.
However, I didn’t enjoy it. Whenever I was with her I only felt disgust and anger at her and revulsion toward me. I didn’t like it and ended it quickly.
Sorry about the not-fun ending 
Don’t be. That’s a really interesting story on many levels.
For one, it says something about both your character and hers, and that there’s an ethical component to meeting people. And you learned something about yourself. Good for you.
For another, it shows that the ATM receipt gambit may actually work, but it won’t necessarily make you happy.
Thirdly, it shows what turns a woman on, although I don’t think the answer is as simple as money. What does money represent to her, and to a sadly huge segment of the female population? That might be a nice topic of discussion right there. I’ll take a stab at it: Most women want someone who has the strength to protect her from saber tooth tigers and jerkish neanderthals. To some, money represents that strength.
Lastly, I think it shows the importance of knowing what you want and standing firm on that. Recently, I decided to do some soul-searching on what I’m really after. My answer surprised me. I definitely don’t want a supermodel. And past girlfriends have been closer to my ideal than I thought.
Great anecdotal advice, if you don’t mind waiting TEN YEARS. 
Well, if all that you want is to get laid, that’s not a bad method. Harry, at least, got plenty of play in the intervening time between meeting Sally and the twu wuv kicking in.
Why don’t you just say you don’t feel like typing out Lehman Brothers, Goldman Sachs and Deutsche Bank?
No offense, but you sound like this other Asian guy I work with. I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing, but he is constantly name dropping and going on about how much he spends on suits and talking about these girls he dates (golddiggers mostly who we never actually meet). It’s kind of like he has this need for the entire world to know he’s some kind of player. Ironicaly, it turns off a lot of people because it makes him seem like a pompous, phoney braggart. Imagine the only women he succeeds in picking up are ones who fall for his “rich Asian businessman” rap for as long as he is able to maintain it.
It would have been a better story if you told her the $3.7 million was fake and she got all pissed at you because she knew that was fake from the beginning and really like you for who you are, but now she can’t because you didn’t trust her. Oh sweet irony.
There is a distinction between fostering real attraction and working on your “game” to get yourself laid more. Game only works so long as you are able to maintain your show. The greater the disparity between your game persona and who you actually are, the more miserable you will be and the harder it will be for you to have a relationship that goes any deeper than banging some psuedo-prostitutes.