“I’m never going to Texas anymore” Robert Plant, Hot Dog
**How do you mess with Texas? **
Force health insurance on them!
Yes! This is one of the few things I actually miss about Texas. When I left the state to go to graduate school, I was stunned that practically everywhere else you have make two left turns through two stoplights in order to double back on a freeway. AAUGH.
I’m apparently not the only one who thought “Frontage Road” was a street name. Jonathan Lethem, a fairly well-known author, has a character driving down “Frontage” [capitalized] in one of his novels. 
It’s an anti-littering slogan directed at Texans.
Blame the History channel for the worst misuse of the saying. They’ve plastered it all over ads for their current miniseries–Texas Rising. Which is based on the Texas Revolution. Supposedly.
I’ve been trying to get inspired to post about it here. The history is mostly wrong. Costumes are all wrong–Texans did not wear 1880’s cowboy outfits in 1836. Sam Houston did not wear any sort of uniform–definitely not one designed for the Civil War. And the coach carrying the Alamo survivors was not attacked by Karankawas in horseback–while traversing the mountainous terrain between San Antonio & Gonzales. Because they shot in Durango, Mexico–which resembles no part of Texas in which the Revolution happened…
Four hours of this fiasco have been broadcast so far & I mean to critique it. But it’s so bad as entertainment that I keep finding other things to do. Like watching the current live coverage of folks who either missed the weather forecast or really enjoy driving through flooding streets…
Refuse to mosey.
So your saying it’s not? 
Having been born and raised in the great state of Texas I can tell you about the old days,
back in the old days all you had to do was go into any bar in Texas and yell out …
"The only thing in Texas is steers and queers and I don’t see any horns on ya’ll"
Which after you have had your say they would then beat the crap out of you, but today
they just go “mooo” or some just say “Go sit down you silly guy”
Don’t litter. That’s all it means. That’s it.
That’d do it alright. Almost as bad as sayin’ a discouragin’ word.
I would go for the throat and say “you know, since I visited Alaska this doesn’t seem all that big anymore”.
Offer to share your horseburger with them.
Tell them that all those nice Californians who are moving here are really classing the place up.
Give them hot sauce from NYC.
Say you never knew much about Texas History but that Texas Rising show is teaching them a lot!