I bought tickets to a concert happening late next month, on a Thursday. There’s someone I’d like to invite to go with me. I see her most weeks on Wednesday; sometimes we have a proper chat, sometimes just long enough to say ‘hello’.
So, when to ask her? Don’t want to do it so far in advance that I have to remind her; don’t want to leave it to the last minute.
Usually the more advance notice the better. There is less chance of a conflict if you are the first to ask. Also, pretty much everyone has a personal day planner on their phone.
I’d say ask now and maybe offer a reminder a week before.
Two or three weeks. A month and a half is too long a time for me. Something may come up in the interim, and I wouldn’t want to feel trapped into going or making you eat the ticket. Also, when you ask her, do not tell her that you “already bought the tickets” before you even asked her. For me, that would come across as presumptuous, and it would also make me think that you just might be trying to guilt trip me into saying yes.
I agree with @Ike_Witt , give them all the advance notice you’re able to. But, per @Jasmine’s observations, don’t frame it as “I need to know now”, you can just say, “hey, I have these two tickets, I have a friend who’d be willing to go, but I thought you’d enjoy it. You don’t have to tell me for sure now, just let me know 2 or 3 weeks (or whatever time) before”. Then follow-up 2 or 3 weeks before (or whatever agreed-to decision time) if you haven’t heard from them.
I’d say the opposite. People buy event tickets all the time intending to find someone to go with later. I think they’d feel more pressured if they thought you were buying tickets you didn’t already have expressly to take them.
I once had a chat with a friend that it would be cool if a certain play was staged in our town and we could go there. We had a bit of a falling out and a year and a half later the play came to our town and we managed to contact each other and both of us had got tickets. Very romantic…
It’s interesting to hear the different perspectives. Keep 'em coming.
I actually had tickets to see the same band, Postmodern Jukebox, a couple years ago, and was going to ask the same woman to go with me. That was in mid-March of 2020, and we all know how that turned out.
Consider a dinner or even a drink date sooner for a quick check of her interest and compatibilty between you two.
If the person may need to take a day off of work, their employer will want two weeks notice. If you ar not sure that they may say yes right away or may need time to think about it, give them a month.
I agree - it sounds like OP is romantically interested here, and a concert is not a good choice for a first date. Even though you’re not strangers, it sounds like prior interactions have been in a work or similar environment. If the romantic interest is reciprocated, you want to be getting to know each other in that new context on a first date.
If all goes well you have plenty of time to invite her to the Slayer mosh pit (or the Yo Yo Ma recital, whatever) for the second date.
Since this is a specific event on a specific date, I’d say ask ASAP, both so they can clear their calendar and keep it clear, and so you know ahead of time if you need to find someone else to go with. If it was a more standard “Would you like to go to dinner/drinks” kind of date, with a date & location to be decided after interest was confirmed, then asking more than a week out would be weird.
And yes, if you do have romantic interest, I’d suggest at least going out for drinks or coffee first. It sounds like you meet on Wednesdays due to work - going straight from a work relationship to 3+ hours together for a concert is a big ask, especially if you go in with different expectations.
It’s actually someone I know at my curling club. Curling is very social, and teams will hang out and share a round of drinks after a game (a tradition known as “broomstacking”). So it’s not in a professional setting, even got a bit flirtatious at times, and I’m usually the last person in the world to notice things like that.
The way the schedule has worked out, I won’t see her for a couple weeks. Plenty of time to figure this out.
Still, if it turns out there is mutual romantic interest, the kind of “getting to know you” conversation on a first date is somewhat different than prior friendly interaction.
If she’s already part of a circle of friends - however you decide to handle it, I’d make sure it’s unambiguous that you’re asking her on a romantic date (if that’s your intention). Best approach is to ask once, clearly and confidently. Then there’s no risk of any misunderstanding or awkwardness.
If you want to ask her on a date with romantic intentions, ask her out for something in the short term first. Why would you wait for something a month and a half down the line? She could be seeing someone else by then.
6 weeks? We may be in the middle of the 30%-fatal Omega wave by then.
“Unambiguous” isn’t always as easy as it seems, as I learned on one disastrous Valentine’s Day. Come to think of it, the 25th anniversary of that is coming up.
I originally planned this for two years ago, so six weeks is hardly worth mentioning.
Unlikely; there’s 8 Greek letters we’d have to get through in the meantime.
Well, hope I didn’t jinx ya, then.
This was my first thought, especially since it’s a ticketed event. Of course, I’ve been married for 38 years so not a lot of recent dating experience - I could be completely wrong.
The last time I tried to do this, the whole country shut down that week because of a global pandemic. I don’t believe in curses, but I know what one would look like.
See? Shoulda done it the week before!