Or holly.
For an international flavor, I’d suggest the the gympie-gympie.
I’ve posted this before, so it might sound familiar.
Back in Fall 2020, I spent an evening on the Trump campaign mailing list.
It was quite the adventure.
The seemed very anxious to warn me about Sleepy Joe and Phony Kamala and their Radical Socialist agenda that would destroy America. But they have the solution and it’s not voting. If I want to stop then I need to send…wait for it…money. Lots of it.
First, I got e-mails from Rudy Guiliani, Lara Trump and Eric Trump, all exhorting me to donate before midnight so my donation would be matched 700%. They never came right out and said that it was Donald Trump who would be matching my donation, but they implied it. But I ended up forgetting to send money, go figure. This caused a minor panic in Trumplandia.
Shortly after the deadline, Diamond and Silk dropped me an email telling me how important it was that we crush Joe Biden so Trump has agreed to extend the deadline another hour. I soon found out there was more to it.
Eric emailed me to tell me that his father was very disappointed in me but had agreed to give me a second chance by extending his 700% match for another hour! So they extended it for me!
And his email showed a very scary looking table that showed my name (my real one even though I never gave it), my account number 
, and the word NONE next to end of month donation. Eric really didn’t want to have to show my donor file to his daddy and he begged me not to let the President down.
But the President must not have been all that let down, cause he’d been emailing me directly all night telling me he wanted to see me. He wanted to impress me with his strength and watch him crush Joe Biden in the debate. He would pay my airfare, I’d get to stay in Trumps favorite hotel and have my picture taken with him (or a VERY lifelike cardboard cutout). Of course, I had to make a donation to be entered for a CHANCE to win this golden opportunity.
But Donald told me I’m his special patriot and he really wants ME to be the winner, so I’m sure if I just send in a donation he’ll make happen. Or that’s what it sounded like.
I also noticed that while he said the winner would get to stay at Trump’s favorite hotel, they never said they’d pay for it. So he’s probably going to make the winner pay for that overpriced room at some tacky Trump branded dinosaur with flaking gold gilt and filthy carpet.
Donald also offered, in another email, to send me a free gift if I made a donation. Before I could ponder what kind of gift wasn’t free, I got another email from the Donald J Trump account.
Someone that wasn’t Trump promised me that if I made a donation now they would put my name on a special list that Trump would actually see - and I would be #5 on that list! This sounded like an awesome chance to extend to a horrible person who had donated $0 towards Making America Great, and I took it as evidence of Trump’s forgiviness . But I wondered why someone else was sending emails from Donald’s account, and why they would be trying to get me to pay them to give Donald my name when Donald has already personally asked me to come see him in Washington.
And I had the same thought when Kimberly Guilfoyle asked me to pay to get my name put in a card she was going to give to Donald Trump. Little did she know that I’m already Donald’s special patriot and after I send my $100, he’s going to rig the contest so we can be together in his hotel.
But Donald J Trump was also very concerned that I might want a Trump Make America Great Again flag, or tee-shirt or hat and not know where to get one. I guess he wants to make sure he can recognize me when I go to meet him at his hotel, so I’ll need to buy the T-shirt, and maybe a flag.
You would of course wear the flag as a cape. Or perhaps toga-style.
Or as a diaper, I’m thinking…
It’s like being rushed by the most popular sorority on campus! 
Wow that’s great he’s letting you meet him - but don’t let him pee on you!
I dunno, those urine-soaked clothes could be valuable to the right MAGAT.
It was probably a typo, they missed the “r” in “grift”.
Ooh! Scary stuff. Anthony Horowitz used it in Forever and a Day, the last James Bond book he wrote. It sounds like a Bondian hazard.
Not sure where to post this. Show of hands-- how likely is it that this or any part of it will happen?
A New York state judge on Thursday ordered that former President Donald Trump and his two eldest children, Donald Trump Jr. and Ivanka Trump, testify under oath within 21 days, rejecting arguments by attorneys for the Trumps who sought to block or stay subpoenas from New York State Attorney General Letitia James.
The decision by Justice Arthur Engoron of the New York State Supreme Court came after two hours of at-times heated oral arguments, in which the Trumps’ attorneys argued that James’ probe constituted selective enforcement, “viewpoint discrimination” and could improperly mix the findings of a civil investigation with a separate criminal case which James is also a party to.
“In the final analysis,” Justice Engoron wrote, “a State Attorney General commences investigating a business entity, uncovers copious evidence of possible financial fraud, and wants to question, under oath, several of the entities’ principals, including its namesake. She has the clear right to do so.”
The Trumps did not immediately respond to a request for comment.
…
I’ll bet everyone can guess how they responded privately.
I am not an attorney. But my understanding is that an attorney will not ask a question that they don’t already know the answer to. They might, might go, but will claim the 5th.
That’s the only out the Trumps have I think. If they don’t go, well that would be contempt of court I believe.
Delay, appeal, divert attention, blame it on others. Trumps legal strategy for his entire life.
The Trumps are giving the Lincoln Project a gold mine.
Or use his other strategies - “I don’t remember” or “I can’t read this, I didn’t bring my glasses”.
AFAIK, I’m the one who coined that, so thanks for helping to spread the term about the tangerine twerp.
Funnily enough, I just got in my E-mail a poll/grifting plea for cash from TTC. Of course I marked it as spam.
And what was it Tan the Conman said about people pleading the Fifth?
My money’s on - it would be beneath his soft, mushy ego to testify.
(isn’t the new [R.] mantra “And what if I don’t?”)
Letitia James supposedly already has lots of evidence and testimony against Trump. If Trump testifies, he will be confronted with some of that, which he can refute, or contest, or disavow – or try at least – with whatever amount of success he is able.
If the doesn’t testify, or just takes the Fifth all day, then all of that evidence will stand unchallenged. This is the trade-off that defendants must make when deciding if they want to testify. Take your chances that you might manage to explain away some of the accusations, or remain silent and let the evidence speak for itself.
Trump is quite possibly between a rock and a hard place. He could end up in deep shit either way. He will probably just make things worse for himself if he testifies, given his reputation for being a habitual liar.
I thought about that in the shower this morning. It was a pleasant daydream where CFSG strokes out while being deposed, and the spawn immediately turn on each other, fighting over the scraps of the Trump Organization. Without the focus of The Donald, the GOP loses across the board in the mid-terms. With control of both houses, the Dems pass the Voter Protection Act, which sends the QOP into irrelevancy in 2024.
Then Puerto Rico and DC are granted statehood, and then I ran out of hot water.
Next time stay in there longer! I love that scenario.
[my emphasis]
I read that very differently from what you actually intended.