We manage to annoy our cat verbally. When the cat walks in the room, we will point and laugh and say “Gryffin! You’re not wearing ANY PANTS!”
We know he is really annoyed if he sits with his back to us. It’s so funny, he will get up, turn around, and pointedly sit back down with his back to us, making a little huffy noise to express the fact he thinks we’re annoying idiots.
Well, no, Gryffin ISN’T wearing any pants. Perhaps he just can’t find ones that fit.
Sapphire the snooty Siamese kitty sits with her back to us when she’s annoyed, too. She will flatten her ears back when she’s especially pissed.
I am ashamed to admit that I have wrapped a milk jug ring around a cat’s tail or leg. However, it was my daughter who tied a pretty silk scarf around her cat’s tail, much to his disgust. His expression said that he was a BOY cat, and above such things as bows tied anywhere on his anatomy.
I thought you were going to say you were making over an “imaginary pet” to make him jealous!!!
One other thing I do to annoy the Kids is to wiggle my feet under the blanket and tell them I have chipmonks in bed with me.
I played exceptionally loud music to nacreous bivalve molluscs.
Somewhat like Kalhoun, I put a flea collar on a kitten and was shocked to see the degree to which it went ballistic, climbing walls and doing flips trying to get that thing that was murdering it off its neck. Under no other circumstances have I seen an animal go that darn crazy.
We have two cats and two dogs. Each one is positive that the other three are hogging more than their fair share of attention.
Each of them can be annoyed quite effectively by ostentatiously bestowing affection on one or more of the others.
I play with my pug’s lips while she’s trying to sleep. It’s fun. They’re so soft. But she gets pretty ticked.
Okay, I’ll be the one to ask: what in the blue blazes were the circumstances that led you to HAVE to pick up a porcupine? Isn’t that what long-handled brooms are for?
I like to tickle the kitties feet when they are sleeping until they spread their toes trying to stop it. If they wake up and bite me, then I’ve gone too far. I also like to try to hold their tail when they are flipping it around.
I also like to try to kiss them on the head with loud kissy noises because they don’t like that kind of affection and will try to turn away. It’s funny how they will twitch their whiskers as soon as they hear the kissy noise. Unfortunately, sometimes I forget and try to do this to Jack, the only cat that likes to be kissed, and he will turn his face up and I end up kissing his nose, bleech! Cat Germs!
When I was a kid my mum and me would love to torture our dog by pretending we were cuddling a little kitten.
He would go absolutely ballistic and try his best to take a look at whatever we were cuddling, which of course was nothing at all.
I love scaring dogs.
Especially when they think you are asleep and are very quietly coming up to your bedside to sniff for a bit.
I once scared a brown labrador so badly it jumped in the bed barking and started fighting me (playfully I must add).
That dog went about 3 feet in the air from a complete standstill!
Oh I see. Y’all are going to pretend that I’m the only one who watches cats pee! They especially hate it if you holler for other family members to come see it too.
Once when I was a kid, I went to (I think) Gatorland in Saint Augustine. They had these monkeys in cages and you could put food in a little cup for them. The monkeys would reel in the cup on a pulley. My Aunt Debbie decided to let her son, Chris, feed the monkeys from his hand. He was very young, maybe two. He held out his hand with a little pellet of food and a monkey snatched it so fast it scared the life out of Chris and he began to cry.
Aunt Debbie decided she was going to get that monkey, so she rummaged in her purse and found some red hot cinnamon candies. She plunked them in the cup, the monkey reeled it over and crammed the candy in its mouth. Slowly, the monkey’s eyes grew wide…and then it leaped on to the bars of the cage and shrieked like crazy! We ran.
A couple of hours later, after we’d done the rest of the theme park, we had to pass by that monkey cage again. We tried to slip by quietly on the other side of the walk, but the monkey saw us, jumped onto the bars and screamed bloody murder.
Oh, we don’t have the outfit anymore. It annoyed the dog so much to be seen in it that she chewed a bunch of holes in it first chance she got.
I once saw an orangutan at the Memphis Zoo that had learned how to flip the bird at people who pissed him off. It was hilarious.
I tickle toes or ears of sleeping pets. I sniff kitties’ necks. I don’t annoy the dog too much because she’s a fragile, emotionally damaged critter who gets upset way too easily.
I torment the bird by existing…
She’s a lovebird, and kind of ornery. I’m her person, but all I have to do is hold a towel near her and she attacks it ferociously. Or try to get her to eat anything except seed. THAT’s always a popular move. :rolleyes:
Now, Himself…he does everything he can to annoy any and every pet I have (except said fragile pooch) and…they LOVE it. Every single one of them will come right back to him after being teased and tormented. He roughs up the cats and they purr all over him. He pokes a finger at the bird (and gets bit) and she flies right back to him. I don’t get it. 
Fun with cats: I would stick my hand between two couch cushions and then push one finger out from between them and wiggle it around like it was a worm or something. Cat would pounce and keep scrabbling at the couch cushions even after I had removed my hand entirely.
I would also sometimes go still suddenly and stare directly at her, and you could just see her hunting/fighting instincts suddenly being thrown into gear.
For dogs, I don’t remember doing much. There is a kind of buzzing sound I’d make with my lips that our dog found quite upsetting, though.
One of my cats is only recently getting over peeing in random spots on the carpet, so I’m just grateful whenever I see one using the litterbox and try not to attract too much attention. Sounds hilarious, though.
If you put tape or Press 'N Seal on another of our cats, she will consistently and steadily try to move away from it. She won’t just back up if you put it on her nose; if you put some on her back she immediately acts like she’s tripled in weight and flattens against the ground. Put it on her side and she begins crabwalking.
I will pick up my kitten of death (no pics right now, sorry) and blow raspberries on her tummy sometimes. She just HOWLS about it.
Of course, I do this every time we have company over, because little Aleksandra will full-bore attack anyone but me who picks her up or even so much as pets her when she’s in an off mood, but she never once has attacked me, just griped.
Mine all have Shy Bladder. We have a little area under the stairs with a curtain over it. Sometimes they all line up waiting for daddy to finish scooping the kitty box. But they won’t go if anyone’s watching.
Well, she was in a tree at the time; and my initial attempt to encourage her down merely prompted her to glom onto the branch harder. Also, porcupines are not known for their catlike grace when falling from trees (even when not half-asleep), so I was trying to be extra-careful.
Anyway, if either one of us was going to be injured during the procedure, I’d much rather it was me instead of her. I think that’s only fair; after all, I was the one trying to make her get down out of the tree. She would have been perfectly happy just to stay put.
Funnily enough, when I went to work on Monday, the first thing anybody said to me was: “What happened to your arm? It looks like you were attacked by a porcupine.”
My wife makes tissue paper booties for the dog and cat. The frantic dance begins!
Peanut butter-on-bread pressed onto the roof of a lab’s mouth will generate much frustration.
My brother’s dog loves sour cream, but will not get near it if offered, because she knows that it will be spread all over her nose. Lots of licking to get that off, which she hates.
We had a cat who would levitate 3 feet if you’d move suddenly while she was minding her business and walking quietly past you.
Please, please tell me you used a reliable technique you can explain to me.
My girl cat doesn’t drink water, she reloads.
The familiar Sudden Onset Transient Feline Paralysis Disorder - very common in cats.