How I Spent My Thursday (WARNING: possible vasectomy TMI)

Thanks for all your kind thoughts and comments in my other thread about getting snipped. I promised details, and so here they are.

I had written some questions down before we left so I wouldn’t forget them. Unfortunately, I left the paper with my wife in the waiting room, so when the doctor came in and asked if I had any questions I replied, “Yes, I wrote them down, but now I’ve forgotten them.” I really did draw a total blank for a while, although I wasn’t real concerned, since it could be done afterwards.

He washed up and asked me one last time if I was sure I wanted to proceed. Since I was already lying on the table with my pants off, I decided yeah, what the hell. Actually, I knew I wasn’t going to back out. This is a mutual decision for us, and a procedure I should have had years ago.

He washed my genitals with that brown sterilizing soap they use and gave me an injection to numb me. And then he started in on the right side. I had brought a book with me, and just lay there reading. There was some sense of manipulating me down there, a little tugging, and just the offbeat feeling of having my genitals manipulated, but all in all no big deal. He finished up and moved around the table to take care of the left side.

Well, apparently he missed where he was supposed to numb me. I don’t know if there’s a comparable pain for women, but every guy will understand. That hollow, aching cramp that blooms in the pit of your stomach and just makes you want to curl up and die. Testicular pain is a bitch, folks, and I couldn’t move my legs or bring my hands down below my waist. I just had to lie still.

He knew I was hurting, and he gave me another shot of local, but it didn’t help. So he promised to work fast, which was fine by me. I mean, what else was he going to do, stop and put everything back?

So I lay there moaning, feeling my whole body go numb, the same sensation you feel when your foot falls asleep, only completely covering me. I broke out in a cold sweat. I felt faint. I did those breathing exercises they teach you in childbirth class. The difference between this and having your six-year-old nephew jump into your lap and accidentally put his knee into your sac is…this wasn’t one impact, then all over but the residual pain. It was like having my testicles squeezed constantly for five minutes.

He finished, and the severe pain subsided, but the cramps and the light-headed feeling persisted. He let me lie there and recover, and he kept asking if I was okay as I dressed and as he followed me out to the waiting room. I think he was afraid I’d pass out, but now that the worst was over, I knew I’d be all right.

And now I’m home and feeling fine. No swelling, a little tenderness, and the left side was tender and achy when I put my ointment on the sutures this morning. But I’m sure I’ll be fine.

The way things went, though, I’m glad he took care of Ralphie before he took care of Louie. If I’d been in that much pain from the beginning, it would have been much worse.

All told, it only took about 40 minutes. And, if all goes the way it should, in a couple of months I’ll be baby-proof.

Thanks again for all your kind thoughts.

Tark had it done…jeez, around a year ago now. If you keep ice on it and don’t go out dancing tonight (like his brother did…hooooo boy, they’re not kidding when they say not to do anything strenuous!!!) you should be all kinds of swell.

I haven’t been to the other thread, so I don’t know if anyone mentioned it - they probably did - but keeping a couple of bags of frozen corn or peas in rotation works beautifully.

I put some frozen corn on it when I got home yesterday, but honestly, I’m not sore or swollen. I guess my body responds pretty well to such things. I’m not going to go out dancing, by any means, but I intend to work tomorrow. It’s just some driving, walking and a little bending. Nothing strenuous.

Hopefully not all kinds.

I feel your pain.

Get an athletic cup. Not only does it support nicely, and protect the boys, but it makes for a great holder for the bag of frozen peas/corn. Lets you walk around with your hands free.

Also makes for an impressive bulge when you venture out of the house:)

It was recommended that I get an athletic supporter and wear it during the day for a week.

And I found out that my wife has never seen a man in a jock strap. She’s almost 44 years old, and this was a new experience for her.

You learn something new every day.

After reading all the horror stories of vasectomies people on here (and people who know people, etc) … is there anyone who didn’t have some sort of complication? I wince just thinking about Turbo Dog’s surgery and I wasn’t even there.

I don’t know if this counts as a complication, but I was lying there, naked from the waist down and lavishly coated with Betadyne, the surgical tech who was

a) about twelve years old (apparently) and
b) female

who was preparing the electric cautery unit asked the surgeon

Tip for the future, darling child - to prevent adverse patient outcomes, don’t let them know this is the first time you have ever done this.

Whether fortunately or otherwise, she figured it out. Trust me, you haven’t lived until you have seen smoke and the scent of charring flesh emanating from your nether regions from behind that surgical drape.

I managed to survive.

Feel free to milk it for all the sympathy it is worth with Mrs. Dave. Have you considered telling her that the surgeon recommended (insert disgusting sexual fantasy of your own choice here)?


Heh. Well, Shodan, as you’re no doubt aware, the process of “clearing the tubes” comes into play now. I was told a minimum of three ejaculations a week for six weeks.

I joked with my wife, telling her it was three a day, and that they didn’t count unless they were induced by my partner. Yeah…that’s right…that’s what the doctor said…yeah…

She’s very solicitous and went out and bought me candy bars yesterday, and she called from work today to check on me.

Ouch. I am surprised (and sorry to hear) that some of you guys had such pain during the snip.
Re: punha’s question…here is a site with a whole ton of vasectomy stories to give you an idea of what it was like for others…

punha, thanks for the thoughts! I still shiver myself, but remember, my problem was because of my own “tough guy” stupidity.

I say again. Never be afraid to tell someone that what they are doing to your balls hurts! Having to remember the feeling of electric cautery sans anesthesia, still shrivels me. It should, and can be, completely painless. You just have to speak up.

Congrats Dave.

Hope the pain fades from your mind soon :slight_smile:

From other’s experiences my only suggestion is to take it easier than you think you need to and use more ice packs/ frozen peas than you think is necessary. Apparently a lot of guys don’t take it easy enough and suffer greatly a few days later.

All the best, and I hope you get the all-clear, and don’t have to do it all again !