Thanks for all your kind thoughts and comments in my other thread about getting snipped. I promised details, and so here they are.
I had written some questions down before we left so I wouldn’t forget them. Unfortunately, I left the paper with my wife in the waiting room, so when the doctor came in and asked if I had any questions I replied, “Yes, I wrote them down, but now I’ve forgotten them.” I really did draw a total blank for a while, although I wasn’t real concerned, since it could be done afterwards.
He washed up and asked me one last time if I was sure I wanted to proceed. Since I was already lying on the table with my pants off, I decided yeah, what the hell. Actually, I knew I wasn’t going to back out. This is a mutual decision for us, and a procedure I should have had years ago.
He washed my genitals with that brown sterilizing soap they use and gave me an injection to numb me. And then he started in on the right side. I had brought a book with me, and just lay there reading. There was some sense of manipulating me down there, a little tugging, and just the offbeat feeling of having my genitals manipulated, but all in all no big deal. He finished up and moved around the table to take care of the left side.
Well, apparently he missed where he was supposed to numb me. I don’t know if there’s a comparable pain for women, but every guy will understand. That hollow, aching cramp that blooms in the pit of your stomach and just makes you want to curl up and die. Testicular pain is a bitch, folks, and I couldn’t move my legs or bring my hands down below my waist. I just had to lie still.
He knew I was hurting, and he gave me another shot of local, but it didn’t help. So he promised to work fast, which was fine by me. I mean, what else was he going to do, stop and put everything back?
So I lay there moaning, feeling my whole body go numb, the same sensation you feel when your foot falls asleep, only completely covering me. I broke out in a cold sweat. I felt faint. I did those breathing exercises they teach you in childbirth class. The difference between this and having your six-year-old nephew jump into your lap and accidentally put his knee into your sac is…this wasn’t one impact, then all over but the residual pain. It was like having my testicles squeezed constantly for five minutes.
He finished, and the severe pain subsided, but the cramps and the light-headed feeling persisted. He let me lie there and recover, and he kept asking if I was okay as I dressed and as he followed me out to the waiting room. I think he was afraid I’d pass out, but now that the worst was over, I knew I’d be all right.
And now I’m home and feeling fine. No swelling, a little tenderness, and the left side was tender and achy when I put my ointment on the sutures this morning. But I’m sure I’ll be fine.
The way things went, though, I’m glad he took care of Ralphie before he took care of Louie. If I’d been in that much pain from the beginning, it would have been much worse.
All told, it only took about 40 minutes. And, if all goes the way it should, in a couple of months I’ll be baby-proof.
Thanks again for all your kind thoughts.
