I’m 6’4" and I have not noticed this… 
My sister is taller than I am and she has the successful love life. Height is only one factor, and not the most important.
It’s easy for a 5’2" (I assume that’s what you mean) female to say that’s an okay height (for a female). A 5’2" male is doomed, or very nearly so – their available dating pool is near non-existent. The above-quoted poster had it right the first time – that’s shallow.
Since long before the internet was widely accessible to everybody, lonely hearts have published their classified ads in the back pages of newspapers or in little monthly booklets published just for the purpose. I always wanted to get all those ads in machine-readable form and do a histogram of the words used in them.
I envisioned gathering statistics on four categories of words:
(1) Adjectives used by males to describe themselves.
(2) Adjectives used by males to described the females of their hearts’ desire.
(3) Adjectives used by females to describe themselves.
(4) Adjectives used by females to describe the males of their hearts’ desire.
I seemed apparent that out of all these categories, the ONE word used more often than any other was “tall”, used by females to describe the males of their hearts’ desire. I think this remains true to this day.
Is this just a quirk of the demographics of those females who troll in the on-line (or classified) dating ads (as suggested by HoneyBadgerDC several posts above)? Or are that large a majority of females really that shallow?
They got little hands
Little eyes
They walk around
Tellin’ great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet
Height is important for some women. Maybe even a lot of them.
But it’s also just like anything else. Everyone initially treats their preferences as make-or-break rules. “I won’t date anyone who’s obese/skinny”, “I would never be able to date someone making less/more money than me”, “I can’t ever see myself with someone has cats/dogs/snakes.” And then they get a bit older and lonelier and they start to loosen up a little.
You’ve got something in your favor. You are a man. Your looks aren’t nearly as important as they would be if you were the opposite gender, at your age. Personality, career aspirations, and body aroma are more important variables.
The only small guys I have a problem with are the ones with “short man” complex.
But I used to have a 5’6" boyfriend. He was a gymnast and he was yum!
Well I was more giving my height as a perspective about my own desire to have a male taller than me. Granted, I’m short enough that it makes it pretty easy but like I mentioned, my ex-husband was markedly shorter. I realize it’s shallow and it’s not something I’m really proud of and I honestly did try to look past it with him. There were other problems between us, but (at least for me) his height was definitely part of it. Of course, I never mentioned it to him because he was already very sensitive about his height and it really wouldn’t have done anything but hurt his feelings.
In my case, as I mentioned in my previous post, I just didn’t feel like it was ‘right’ for him to be shorter than me. Perhaps it’s something from society or my own upbringing, I don’t know. But while my height preference is something I don’t like admitting to, there does have to be a physical attraction between two people. Everyone has a certain ‘type’ they’re attracted towards. To a degree, everyone is shallow in that regard. My ex prefers plus-sized women and will only date women who fit into that category. I have a female friend who is only attracted to men with muscles. It’s shallow for them to want those physical qualities in a potential partner, yeah but that’s what they find attractive.
I’d say that while you are at a disadvantage, you aren’t “doomed” - 5’ 7" puts you as shorter than the average Denmark man, but still slightly taller than the average Denmark woman; and since plenty of people aren’t average, there’s plenty of women who will be shorter than you are.
I recall reading about an interesting study years ago where women were shown images of men that had been manipulated to make them look different heights (to eliminate things like facial features or weight as a factor), then asked what they thought of the man in question. They consistently had more positive impressions of the taller-looking men, even when the woman in question said she didn’t care about height. I think it’s just how women are usually wired; it’s not really fair, but it’s not necessarily even a conscious part of their decision making.
Two anecdotes:
-
Quite shamefully, I had an affair with a married co-worker some years back. Her husband was buff, and a pretty boy. Height: approx 5’7. I, at the time, was a bland to ruggedly handsome person. She and I connected. I was amazed because comparing me to her husband in the looks department would put me in the loser’s circle. Later, somebody told me the reason that she thought I was so hot is because I was over 6 feet tall, and that sort of thing drove her totally and unreasonably wild.
-
Years earlier, I was unrequitedly (is that a word?) infatuated with a young lady with whom I worked. My coworkers knew of it, and enjoyed some good-natured (I guess!) kidding at my expense. So, one day she walked by hanging onto the arm of some bland to ruggedly ugly guy. One of my friends caught it, pointed him out to me and said “Look at him, handsomeharry. He’s got your girl! And he’s not even 5’8!”
Whole point being, it depends on the chick.
Good luck!
hh
Whoa, Whoa! Hold it right there! When did this ‘aroma’ stuff start??:smack:
I’m not sure why it’s especially shallow. Attraction is driven to large extent by physical appearance, and wanting your mate to be tall isn’t any more shallow than seeking other generally attractive traits (pretty face, youth, big boobs, muscular frame, not overweight, nice legs, whatever…).
And by the way, many men too prefer tall women.
Just because something is your “heart’s desire” doesn’t mean it’s a dealbreaker. I mean, lots and lots of men (and women) prefer a thin partner, but I see lots of heavy people with partners. My husband is 5’0", and we do really well together. Did my girlhood dreams of my perfect soulmate include a man five inches shorter than me? Of course not. But having a preference doesn’t mean absolute unwillingness to date someone.
Is it possible to be “partially doomed”?
Have you considered moving to Japan as an option?
I’m a 5’6" male, and never had a problem dating women. I’m also outgoing, and don’t normally think about it. My wife of 22 years is 5’10". The height difference has never been an issue.
It’s not shallow to have an appearance preference. What do you expect women to do? Date people they aren’t attracted to out of charity? That won’t end well.
When assessing your dateability, it’s really smarter to focus on what you do have, rather than what you do not. Yes, height will probably not be your major selling point, and nobody is going to date you because you are tall. Now, what else do you have to offer?
Nobody is doomed. Prisoners with life sentences find partners. Those people who are so obese they can’t walk find partners. Full blown institutionalized mentally ill people find partners. The severely disfigured find partners. Of course you may not have an easy time dating supermodels, and that sucks, but that’s life. You are no supermodel yourself, right? But if you are looking for a loving relationship with a reasonably attractive person, almost everyone has the potential to find that. The one thing that will undermine that potential is growing bitter, angry at women, and entitled. Nobody wants to date someone with a bad attitude towards dating.
I know a lot of very short foreign teachers in southwest China who have done just that. It seems to work pretty well for them. Although “tall” is much much more important in much of East Asia (to the point where even office jobs often have height requirements), the standard for being “tall” is a lot lower and the attraction of being a foreigner can overcome just about any imperfection. That said, cross-cultural relationships have their own challenges.
I am approximately 1.65 – which is “worse” than you are. But I don’t feel bad about it. Perhaps, you should consider Mediterranean women, going to there for an holiday, since most of them are highly like to be shorter than you are, and since you are in Europe and easily can travel around. Moreover, they may like you just because you are Danish, ha? Sounds good? I am totally serious.
@even sven, nice words. I’ll ask answer the question in your post and disagree on a statement you issued.
Depends on the girl, I guess.
I doubt that.
I think this requires an explanation for our Danish friend. These (along with “Short people got no reason to live”) are actually lyrics from Randy Newman’s huge (in the United States) 1977 hit song. It was not meant to be taken seriously – Newman was actually making fun of mindless bigots who make stupid statements. Unfortunately, at the time not everyone knew he was joking. Newman went on to write the music for the Toy Story movies.
It has been my experience that women, most, even almost all (but not all) women prefer to date and form relationships with men who are taller than they are. This doesn’t mean that they will only date men who are over some arbitrarily set height requirement, just that the men they find attractive are taller than they are by, say, two inches. This hasn’t really affected me much, since I’m over 6’, but I know plenty of guys who go unnoticed by women who are aroudn 5’10" or so (my wife, by the way, is 5’10", maybe 5’11" in bare feet and admits that, when dating, she had an irrational prejudice against men shorter than her. At least she knew it was irrational).
So, at 5’7", you should be fine. Even in Denmark, there should be plenty of women 5’5" or smaller.
My nephew is on the short side -maybe 5’6"? I know it pained him because he was exceptional in basketball.
He does have a really charming personality: He’s funny and a nice guy. As far as I can tell, he’s never had a problem dating.
As I’ve gotten older, I have realized everyone has something to deal with. It’s how you deal with these setbacks that changes everything.
How do I put this? From personal observation, as a marriage matures, women tend to… Loom over their husbands. 
(robardin, married lo these 13+ years)