- cough cough bullshit cough *
Maybe they could rerun the Puppy Bowl.
Stacey Adams will start her response with, “Where to begin?”
The Dems are. Every so often one will stand up and yell “BINGO!” Everyone will pass a dollar bill to them.
Trump, muttering to Pence: “Will you tell those assholes to shut up?”
Pence: “HEY SHUT UP YOU ASSHOLES!!!”
Pence: “Okay, okay. One at a time. (Looking at Trump directly in the face, making eye contact) Asshole, shut up!”
A drinking game guide for the speech:
https://www.chicagotribune.com/redeye/bars/ct-redeye-state-of-union-trump-drinking-game-20190205-story.html
The glaring drawback is that it only works if you watch the speech.
A snippet from the guide:
Take one drink whenever …
- Trump mentions “jobs”
- Trump references a “witch hunt”
- Trump brings up the wall
- Trump drops any of his favorite rhetorical bits:
[ul]
[li]“Many people are saying …”[/li][li]“You’re hearing it more and more …”[/li][li]“Believe me,”[/li][li]“I know more / a lot about X …”[/li][/ul]
…
Optional bonus round:- Shut off the TV
- Go do anything else
- Ignore the SOTU entirely
No way—Mother would never allow him to say a swear. She’s probably fuming because he’ll be sittting next to Madam Speaker unattended.
Sorry, nope, no amount of money, not enough to pay off my mortgage, not enough to pay off all my friends’ mortgages and buy us a horse farm, no amount would be enough to sit through the thing.
I’d rather proofread a 300-page transcript of an expert witness economist discussing the “but-for” world as applied to patent royalties, in all its dry, tedious, jargon-laden, abstruse argle-bargleness, than watch even five minutes, even with the sound turned off.
Today, just here, you have given me reason to live. Thank you. I can’t NOT watch it now. And I’ll be giggling like a very giggly person indeed.
Prop-bet over/unders
of times Individual-1 uses the word “beautiful” to describe his wall: 2.5
of times he references Ralph Northam: .5
of times he mentions Nancy Pelosi: 3.5
of times he mentions Mitch McConnell: .5
of discreet sniffs: 37.5
Time when he goes off-script: 8:40
Odds that someone will have to lead him away, like an 80 year-old who just won an Oscar and is confused as to where they are: 50:1
Well, now my gf wants to go out for dinner, so I am off the hook. Neener neener everybody! 
I will check back later to see just how stupid it was.
I can’t bring myself to watch it. I’ll probably find something on Netflix.
The “but-for” world?
I’m trying to decide if my desire to avoid death by ennui is stronger than my curiosity is insane. Is there at TL;DR version of an explanation?
I’ve accused him before of being Zaphod Beeblebrox. 47 quatloos says he tries to steal the capitol building.
I won’t be watching. I have no desire to see or hear him, but I also don’t want to give him the ratings. That’s the only revenge I’m ever likely to get. 
Maybe he’ll resurrect Jim.
“Viddy well, my droogies, hope you do real horrowshow like.”
He will include a “surprise”. He’s watching what everyone thinks he’s going to say, so he will have to include something that nobody expected.
I’ll just read about it here.
trump calling for unity is like a Kardashian calling for chastity.