Ah, the dreaded and inevitable “So how is it that you’re single?” In answer I’d long been using “Because I’m all set for small appliances.” but today in the face of a particularly annoying questioner I went with “Because David Foster Wallace is dead, David Sedaris is gay, and everyone else is boring.”
How do you typically answer?
Because the men aren’t smart enough to know what they are missing.
Because I’m an obnoxious twat.
Why not turn it around and ask them “How is it you’re married?”
It gets ignored. It’s none of their fucking business.
Because the obvious answer to that is that there’s someone for everyone who’ll settle for anyone. 
I think I’ve decided to go with my new one going forward. It’s both appropriately snotty and more true, since in all honesty I could use a new blender. My margaritas are a little chunky.
“I kno, rite?!”
The question is usually posed to me sarcastically after spending an evening explaining the subtle differences between a paladin and a lawful good clreic so I typically don’t answer at all.
You know, I used to just smile and brightly say “Because I’m defective!” That’s how I learned that many people don’t understand irony, but really, *really *mean well and want you to feel good about yourself.
My current answer, as one going through a divorce, is, “I was struck sane.”
“Just lucky, I guess.”
I never get asked this question. I guess in my case, it’s just obvious.
Same here, only moreso.
I’ve only asked that question in a joking manner.
Little Nemo and I are of an accord. Presumably they are not surprised by my terminal singularity-ness.
Probably something to do with saying stupid stuf like “terminal singularity-ness”
I usually go with something along these lines. I get it a lot when I go home for Christmas/Easter/Thanksgiving and I end up seeing a lot of my parent’s friends. The question itself doesn’t bother me, it’s usually framed as a complement after they ask if I have a girlfriend.
I did get a little weary of answering it at my sister’s wedding this past year. Everyone over 50 in her husband’s family made some version of this comment to me, and after the tenth or so time answering it started getting pretty old. The funny thing is her husband is in his early 40’s, never married before. These people traveled across the country to the wedding of a relative who’s over a decade older than me, and they’re surprised that I’m single?
Of course they were just trying to say something nice, and each one didn’t know they were the nth person to ask me that day.
David Sedaris is gay?
To that question, I usually shrug and say “pchs, just hasn’t happened.”
Now, to the Deadly Combo “how come you’re not married? Don’t you want children?”, I answer “well, having already raised two brothers, I now enjoy pampering two nephews,” accompanied by one of those shows of teeth which get called “smiles” only by the terminally clueless.
I only was asked this on first dates, and I could only interpret it as a challenge question: “why should I want you if no-one else does?”
(it stopped when I changed my profile from “Long Term” to “Dating.”)
Locusts mean well.